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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if anyone has used a male prositute

245 replies

SparklyLeopard · 17/01/2021 09:08

Ive NC for this as I'm a regular and this is a bit random I know! I've had a few relationships over the years and not been really satisfied with sex. Find myself fantasising about being with a man who is a real expert. Not sure I could ever have the nerve to do so and would have no idea where to start! And certainly not now for obvious reasons but I'm curious and would love to hear about other's experiences.

OP posts:

Meruem · 17/01/2021 11:01

Plenty of men on tinder and the like will have sex with women they don’t particularly fancy because hey it’s “free sex”. So that wouldn’t be a reason for me not to do it. At least if I was paying someone I’d know where I stand, rather than being fed a load of bullshit to get me into bed then ghosted! That hits my self esteem more than paying someone would.

I would also imagine a paid man would put the effort in because it’s his business. If he’s a crap shag no one will rehire him. Men I meet now all want things I don’t want to do, like anal. If you’re paying then you’re in control of what happens. The last few guys I’ve slept with have been extremely selfish in bed. Hence why I’m not with any of them now!

So personally I can see reasons why it would be preferable over meeting some random on a night out or online. I personally couldn’t see myself doing it but I can see why someone would choose that option.

CutToChase · 17/01/2021 11:01

@user1471565182
Yeah this is getting weird now. You don't know any women, do you?
The last time I heard of "brunch" being a "thing" was circa 2004. Ditto SATC references...

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 11:01

Thats not FormerBabe said, Alias, dont lie to me

LaceyBetty · 17/01/2021 11:02

And why is this thread hypocritical? At least 50% are saying it's wrong as far as I can see.

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 11:04

Thats sort of my point, CutToChase, theyre living in a fucking dream feminine world, circa 2000

user1471565182 · 17/01/2021 11:05

Dont like the fact ive personally worked with male sex workers who have had women clients? just accuse me of being a man

CounsellorTroi · 17/01/2021 11:06

For me it's about intimacy - I couldn't have sex with someone who I wasn't 100% comfortable and secure with. For me, that means someone with whom I was in relationship with.

Same here, has to be someone I know, trust and at least like a lot. I don’t like the idea of sex with strangers.

PlanDeRaccordement · 17/01/2021 11:06

No I haven’t. But I did escape a revolting hen do when the bride to be started blowing the male stripper that someone had hired as a “surprise” for the party. The stripper showing up made me uncomfortable to begin with, but when it went from shoving money down his pants to ripping them off and performing oral on him...I was gone like a bat out of hell.

MrsWindass · 17/01/2021 11:07

@CodenameVillanelle

For anyone who wants no strings sex with a stranger look at fabswingers. You'll find plenty of men there with reviews from previous partners so you can try to find someone who a) you like the look of b) who fancies you c) has good reviews of their sexual skills and d) is likely to be safer than a random from tinder or a club. Don't pay someone. That's disgusting on about 50 levels.

I looked at this site once and the disgusting thing about that site is you are screwing this person who has screwed person who has had a threesome with someone else - and as you say there are reviews 🤮. Now that's what is disgusting !

GeidiPrimes · 17/01/2021 11:08

They sleep with more women than men, men dont tend to have to pay for it with other men

This statement is completely untrue. It's vanishingly rare that women buy consent. A male prostitutes clients are men, not women.

Blondiney · 17/01/2021 11:10

I'd only do it if I was guaranteed Richard Gere from American Gigolo from 1980.

Sinful8 · 17/01/2021 11:10

@Opheliaa

Any outrage is ridiculous imo. It's just not the same.

No it isn't the same at all.

Isnt that how most rapists justify things?

Opheliaa · 17/01/2021 11:11

And when those boys grow up, do you think the majority of them overcome their tragically abusive histories and go on to study medicine at Oxford, or do you think there’s a chance that many are unable to escape and end up in the sex industry because it’s pretty much all the validation they’ve ever known

I think many of them do end up in the sex industry / with drug problems / homelessness/ emotional problems/ more mental health.

I don't think many of them are being paid by women to have sex with women.

Opheliaa · 17/01/2021 11:12

*poor mental health not more mental health

Sinful8 · 17/01/2021 11:14

"They sleep with more women than men, men dont tend to have to pay for it with other men."

Or they're just more ashamed at having to sleep with the men so don't talk about it as much?

GeidiPrimes · 17/01/2021 11:16

Dont like the fact ive personally worked with male sex workers who have had women clients? just accuse me of being a man

Fascinating! I used to post on SAAFE and at least once a week a poor hapless man punter would start a thread asking for advice to attract "female clients". He was always given the very honest advice that unless he was willing to go gay-for-pay that he wouldn't make any money.

Jennifer2r · 17/01/2021 11:17

I had a dinner date and a massage from a man I paid, it was lovely, I'd do it again. I don't think he was trafficked or a drug addict. I didn't have sex with him.

Opheliaa · 17/01/2021 11:19

Isnt that how most rapists justify thing

What by saying rape is not the same? I would say rapists have many reasons for justifying their actions. Are you saying that women who pay men for sex are rapists? I doubt there's many that do pay in the first place, and within that category that do, some will be of an abusive nature, and some will simply be an agreed paid transaction. What's your point?

MorrisZapp · 17/01/2021 11:22

Sex with men is free if you're a woman, just go to your local pub (post covid) or a hotel bar with salesmen in it.

Ehmbeeh · 17/01/2021 11:23

A persons body is not a commodity for buying.

borntohula · 17/01/2021 11:25

There's no way I could fancy a total stranger enough to sleep with him. :(

Willheorwonthe · 17/01/2021 11:26

I’m sure there was a documentary on telly once about high powered executive women that used male prostitutes. IIRC reasons they gave were they didn’t have the time for dating or they couldn’t find men that were not intimidated by them. Probably is quite rare though.

Opheliaa · 17/01/2021 11:28

A persons body is not a commodity for buying

If it's a truly a free choice then I would say that is up to the individual to decide.

Scbchl · 17/01/2021 11:29

Get yourself a womanizer and a body wand and forget the male prostitute.

LizFlowers · 17/01/2021 11:29

@MorrisZapp

Sex with men is free if you're a woman, just go to your local pub (post covid) or a hotel bar with salesmen in it.

Yes, that is the usual thing. However there are male escorts (I've seen on telly); women hire them as a plus1 to go to functions, balls etc, and may end the evening in bed. Richard Gere was in a film about one years ago. It does seem odd though.

Gay male prostitutes are more common, often hired by married, closet gays.

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