To leave baby to cry?

[Hullllla]

When everything that you can do has been done, is this acceptable or just a big no no?

Have you actually tried feeding him again op?

OP, bottle fed babies cluster feed too.
Wierdly my first did in the mornings, she'd have about 3 bottles in about 3 hours, and be on/off bottles the whole time.

Maybe, we’ll see. I don’t want him going to hospital again, and anyway he’s asleep now, he fell asleep about ten minutes after his dad took him, so I’ll just take some time to consider our options. Thanks for replies.

The GP and HV haven’t helped you... yet!! You have to keep trying. Keep telling them that your baby is seriously distressed and that you think he is unwell and you need more ideas and if they haven’t got any then he needs more investigation. Keep on at them!

I really can’t be arsed to keep trying to be honest, they just label you neurotic. I probably am, he’s fine for everyone else.

Have you tried the Magic Hold?

My DD needed quite vigorous rocking from side to side to get her to sleep at that age. She was no nosy she didn’t want to close her eyes and I think the swinging made her! Also mimics you walking/moving when they are inside.

OP if you'd like to talk 1 to 1 please just drop me a message. I was in such dispair after my kids I think I cried constantly for about a week too. It's so tough and it sounds like you're needing some support - even if nothing works you need to feel supported.

Hope you're ok X

@Hullllla

I really can’t be arsed to keep trying to be honest, they just label you neurotic. I probably am, he’s fine for everyone else.

You're his mother, to don't get to say you can't be arsed just because you don't want him to go to hospital. You said he didn't settle for his Dad either.

You're his mother, he's telling you he's not happy, it's your job to get him the help he needs. You don't get to give up.

Your HV sounds crap. Can you ask to see another one? (I've had my children outside the UK, so I don't really know how the system works.) No one should be laughing at a new mother who says she's struggling and her and her baby need some help. There's nothing wrong with asking for help - you've done well to ask, in fact - and it is beyond crap that this was the response you got.

I promise it's not just that your baby doesn't like you. Your baby loves you, unconditionally. It's just that it takes time for you to be able to communicate with each other. You're both still learning how to do this. You're doing everything right, and things will get easier and better.

Is it possible to see an out of hours GP? Just to rule out anything immediately physically wrong? I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that he calms down soon for you, it sounds absolutely awful.

You sound exhausted :( its so hard at that age but it will get better i promise you. It defo sounds like something is wrong, reflux can be awful one of mine suffered with it. Do call your gp again don't let them fob you off. in the meantime can your partner take the baby for half an hour just so you can take a breather have something to eat and rest your arms you will have a clearer head and be able to cope better. Hope your ok. x

How flat are you feeling op? I think you need help too. I had really severe PND and thought my babies hated me. They didn’t. Are you managing any sleep? How is your appetite?

Oh OP, this is so tough for you.

It will get better, I promise.

@Ohalrightthen is right your his mum!
it is disheartening when you’ve tried for hours and then magically his dad can but that’s probably because he can tell your stressed with him and the situation. You need to speak to someone people have posted some really helpful numbers just try.

I'm really pleased that your baby has gone to sleep now. Please get some rest yourself. You should never ever feel guilty about putting a clean fed and winded baby down in a safe place for a couple of minutes if you need to step away briefly for your own sake. It is the baby care equivalent of putting your oxygen ask on before a child's on an aeroplane.

I will be absolutely flamed for this but I had the same with a bottle fed baby at 4-6 weeks. What sorted it for us was to switch to the Gina Ford feeding schedule that spaces bottles out a bit so they aren't taking a new bottle on a part digested one. It might of course be coincidence but we never looked back.

You do sound very low though so I would recommend giving APNI a call tomorrow - number is here apni.org/ it is always good to talk to someone when you are feeling lost, especially with your first child.

Glad he's gone to sleep. Try getting some rest yourself now

Can you purchase a swing?
This may have been suggested, but my son was very much like this, he cried for hours & out of desperation I went straight to Argos & bought a Joie 2 in 1 swing, expensive but it was than the only thing he settled in. It's worth a try

Hi OP
If it's been a continuous thing it might be signs of a CMPA (cows milk protein allegy). Yes normal for newborns to cry but not the majority of the day speak to your GP or HV tomorrow.

For now one of the things we found useful was putting you tube up on the TV with relatively calming songs which had the words on it so we could sing whilst holding baby upright against us, the vibrations from singing along with standing/swaying would relax my son. Country music was his favourite no idea why! It also distracts you or your partner so you relax slightly as well so they don't pick up on it.

Create playlists which can easily be put on and take it in turns so that you can each get a bit of rest.

I’ve only read your posts op and I suspect someone else had suggested it but it really sounds like cmpa. The gp is highly likely to fob you off because they don’t want to have to prescribe the milk!
My first was like yours. 4 months I spent with a constantly howling child, I walked up and down for hours, only ever slept for 45 mins at a time. My cousins child was the same and they went to a&e and got sorted. I should have done that but I didn’t want to waste resources. I should have gone to a&e.
My second lost weight from birth and we were sorted very quickly and I have a calm happy baby now. If you don’t want to go to a&e book an out of hours gp appointment
Please don’t both of you suffer.

Are things any better today OP?