To leave baby to cry?

[Hullllla]

When everything that you can do has been done, is this acceptable or just a big no no?

Sling. Fresh air.

Will help you even if it doesn't calm baby much.

If they're full and clean then a nice walk should help you both. Xxx

I’ve tried everything honestly. Everything suggested on here I’ve done.

It's completely acceptable. Far too much pressure is put on parents to stop a baby crying. What happens if a baby is well and cared for and still cries? You try everything, so what do you do then?

This is when parents can start to feel like they can't cope.

Anyone with a well baby, who is loved, fed, clean, changed etc., is fine to put their baby down and make themselves a cup of tea, other beverages are available.

Often a baby will settle when you stop faffing about with it.

@Hullllla

I’ve tried everything honestly. Everything suggested on here I’ve done.

What did the HV say?

Could you get your partner to come home?

Are you breastfeeding? If so, it could be a day of cluster feeding. If this is the case, set yourself up in bed with a drinks snacks and a good box set and stick baby on the breast x

Not breastfeeding

Babies that age can cry a lot for sometimes no reason.

If you've tried:

Feeding
Burping
Changing
Colic hold
Checking if they're cold or hot
Stripping down to check body (including fingers and toes)
Bathing
Out in pram
Out in sling
Darkening the room
Swaddling
Singing
Skin to skin
Rocking
Dummy
Holding close to you and taking deep, calming breaths

Then I'd swaddle and place safely in cot and step away for a breather. Preferably get someone else to step in.

Have you tried swaddling? I think you can do that whilst rocking and shhh ing - this can work sometimes

White noise can help some babies. I used to find mine settled when I did some hoovering. My eldest used to cry a lot. I faffed about with her far too much, thinking I had to stop her crying. One day, I'd had enough so I left her safely in her cot and cleaned the house. By accident, I'd found out she loved the sound of the hoover! Either that, or she was relieved an emotional mother had finally put her down and let her settle.

Not sure if someone has posted this already, but if not, try this organisation: www.cry-sis.org.uk/

He hates being swaddled. Sorry I’m not being very helpful. But we are beyond help.

I'd persist with the swaddling. It could be that he's already overtired by the time you try.
Swaddle him, go into a dark room, give him a dummy, put him down and 'shush pat' him.
He could be over stimulated

I have 8 week old twins so I often have to leave one a few minutes to cry while the other is being sorted out. It so so hard. I wouldn’t just leave them though if you can any longer than a few minutes

@Hullllla

He hates being swaddled. Sorry I’m not being very helpful. But we are beyond help.

If a well, fed, cared for baby, is put down crying, they won't come to any harm.

You've tried everything, so step away.

Some baby do cry a lot. Research has shown that crying is normal and if you have a baby that cries a lot, they grow up just fine.

I had three under five. The first one was the only one who we faffed about with. Quite honestly when you have more children, the baby often has to wait for attention. They are safe in their cot, on the other hand an older child needs the potty, wants a drink, is climbing over the back of the sofa, needs to be taken to nursery, etc.

Are they hungry? They do have phases of having a lot more milk some days. Have you tried a dummy? If nothing is working I would speak to your HV as it could be CMPA or colic or something.

Had two full bottles in two hours so wouldn’t have thought so. Probably though.

Try tiger in the tree hold - used to work when my needy babies were little .
Could be over tired? Could you try lying in your bed (following on co sleep safety guidelines) with your baby and seeing if that helps them drop off ? You'll probably need to stay with them but you can at least rest ?

Ive got a 3 week old - best advice my friend gave me a couple of days ago when he just wouldn't settle despite doing everything....

Swaddle him
Sit in a dark room
White noise on YouTube or Spotify - no other sounds
Bounce him gently on my knees
Do not let him out the swaddle even if he cries or tries to get arms free etc.

Did this for half an hour to an hour and finally settled and sleep for a few hours.

Might work for you too. Good luck xxx
(Since found singing softly to him or classical music does the same)

If you've checked everything and know that his nappy is clean I'd close the curtains and put him in his cot/basket OP. His crying can hardly get any worse can it? Pop him down and get yourself a glass of water, sob your heart out or scream in to the void until you feel better. Who knows he may just need to lie flat... Good luck, I really feel for you xx

Seriously he is like a demented octopus swaddled. He screams hysterically, thrashes about, pants desperately. It’s awful. I don’t particularly even like him right now and I still won’t put him through that.

Is the father around? What's his contribution here? If baby has been on you for nine hours then hand him over and leave the house for a while.

Yeah except baby doesn’t settle for him either so ...

Hi, I've been there. Nearly 18 yrs ago now. I got angry and depressed with my daughter at that age she cried all day every day.
Now she has mental health problems and abandonment issues and addiction problems.my second child I never left to cry.
He is 12 now and so stable compared to daughter.
I honestly believe being left to cry as a baby affects people for hue rest of their life.
It affects your trust in others. Its through being supported that we learn to support ourselves.
I would never ever ever leave a baby to cry ever again. It doesn't have to be you. Family member or support bubble, whatever, take turns... But just hold them, cuddle them, put music and headphones on if you need to, but just be there. That's all.
And remember this will pass. I promise. You will get through it. They need you. They love you. Its not to do with you. Its probably silent reflux or something.
Just be there

My babies hated being swaddled too!

If you have tried everything on here please ring your health visitor. They can do an assessment and see if there is anything they can help with. Sounds like it could be colic / allergy / reflux. It is also possible to have silent reflux.

Have a look at them and see if any of the symptoms fit. If you are really stressed out baby in a safe place and walk out the room, just for 5mins, go cry in the bathroom or make a cuppa, what ever you need. You can’t look after baby if you are running on empty too 🥰