To leave baby to cry?

[Hullllla]

When everything that you can do has been done, is this acceptable or just a big no no?

Not all babies like to be swaddled ds hated it and wriggled constantly

I know many would say it’s a no no but have you tried a dummy

Yes but it just gets spat out. I’m just walking round with him now. He’s stopped screaming but still wide awake so as soon as I stop the screaming will start. I’ve never known a baby like this and I’m guessing no one else has from the suggestions. He must be so miserable and I can’t help.

Have you tried singing to him? Like other have suggested, google the “tiger in the tree” hold, and gently rock and sing to him - it can be anything you know the words to. The singing might calm him, but also helps distract you from the crying. Hopefully that and the movement will settle him down and he’ll drop off.

You can help @Hullllla - you already have, he’s stopped screaming. Have faith in yourself.

I think me holding him might be part of the problem. He’s worse when I do.

OP you're being flippant. You're not "beyond help". Distract. There's no way you have done "everything".

Not really because honestly the second I stop walking hell scream. Honestly that is what will happen.

What do you suggest then turn?

Does your baby have any signs of reflux, colic, cows milk allergy? Signs like arching of the back, pulling their legs up, constipation, perianal rash, mucussy poo, excessive sneezing, gagging when feeding can all be signs of a GI problem. Its probably worth speaking to your GP. My friend has been going through something similar and her GP was extremely helpful, trialling anti reflux medication and cmp free milk. I wouldn't say it's normal for a baby to cry constantly.

I always found the first thing I tried was what worked - but when I tried it for the second (of third time).

If you really want to out him down, do. Put him in his safe sleeping place, white noise on your phone and move away (don’t leave the room). Give it 3 mins. See whether the screaming gets worse, or starts to ease off / stop?

Sounds like he might be uncomfortably full and need a big poo! Can you put him in a sling and go for a walk? The fresh air will help both of you. If he's full being upright might be easier for him.

The early days are hard. It does get better.

Think it could be colic, have tried the over the counter stuff. GPS won’t see you and I don’t think they could help anyway.

iconcope.org/

Babies crying is normal and peaks at 6-8 weeks. You absolutely can put them somewhere safe and walk away for a breather if you feel it is getting too much.

Four weeks is tough. My LO is 12 and I found things got easier around 6 weeks.

Stepping away for a minute to calm down is one thing. Leaving baby to cry for longer really isn't ok and can be damaging to you both.

Are you winding baby enough? Mine had sore guts around 4 weeks because he was so little his tummy just wasn't there yet and he couldn't pass the gas very well.

@Hullllla

Think it could be colic, have tried the over the counter stuff. GPS won’t see you and I don’t think they could help anyway.

You might be surprised. If not I think you should persist with at least a telephone consultation. If not for baby for you own mental health.

Fine for a couple of minutes for you to collect yourself, especially if you’re frustrated and need to cool down. No more than a couple of minutes, though.

It’s so hard with a crying baby. I’m sure you have, but have you tried:

• dummy
• burping (in all positions, including them lying over your knee on their front)
• colic relief remedies
• nappy
• fed
• nappy rash checked
• too cold
• too hot
• overtired
• gone for a walk
• carried in sling
• warm bath

Have you spoken to your health visitor or GP about possible reflux, colic, CMPA etc?

A GP should see you. I had my baby at the gp recently.
Op my first ds screamed for hours daily from about 2-6 weeks. It is actually quite 'normal', their central nervous system is still developing. It can be very hard on you though which is why I suggested that once you've tried everything I'd put on my list to just place him down and take a breather with preferably someone else taking over.
I know it feels like it but you're really not the only one that's been through this.

Calm down @Hullllla he is probably picking up on your stress and anxiety. The NhS website says not to leave a baby more than 5 minutes when bed training but 4 weeks is very little. However it’s ok to just walk away for a few minutes and calm yourself down. Babies are all different so it’s hard to compare. You’ll figure out what it is you’ll get a routine and then they will change again. Just relax you’ll get it. My DD would burp but there was always more wind in there. Just take a deep breath.

My son was like this I was so stressed out I actually felt angry torwards him sometimes which was a horrific feeling.
The only thing that I found was getting a baby bouncer and rocking him until he literally fell asleep in it and then I'd make him comfy and let him just nap in it. It's a really hard phase but it does pass. Be kind to yourself babies are hardddd work.

I used to have to walk my first around in a sling for miles. While we were walking, he wasn't screaming. He'd even sleep. So I suggest trying that - at least it spreads the crying around the neighbourhood, so one neighbour doesn't have to hear it all the time, anyway. Often the change in temperature when we got outside was enough to stop the crying. For my youngest, it's usually that she has trapped wind and when she has burped or farted, it's ok again. But that can take a while. We have some colic medicine from boots that you give during/after feeding which seems to help. If nothing else helps, is your baby big enough for paracetamol? Maybe something hurts, like a baby headache or something they can't tell us about. Though before giving your baby medicine for anything non obvious, I'd check with a doctor or midwife or whoever is looking after your baby if they get sick.

You aren't doing anything wrong. Babies are difficult sometimes! They get easier as they get bigger. The newborn weeks are my least favourite, but they don't last for ever!

@Hullllla

4 weeks. I don’t know what to do.

Absolutely not! Rock them, buggy, dummy, feed, swaddle, bath, too hot too cold? Even check with gp or HV if they cry so much you think they're in pain. Never ever leave a 4 week old to just cry it's barbaric

They don’t honestly, I’ve been concerned for weeks now. Thanks. Sorry shouldn’t have posted. He’s sucking on my jumper but he had a full bottle of formula 40 minutes ago so can’t be hungry surely, or maybe he is? God only knows.

It does get better OP. As I said, my boy is 12 weeks now and there was a real change from around 5/6 weeks.

Keep walking. White noise. Cuddle.

@Hullllla I'm going to PM you

Offer him more milk, he could well be hungry and it won't hurt to offer it.