I hate my height

[Purpledolphin223]

I’m 5’8, nearly 5’9 and I absolutely hate my height

Most of my life many of my friends have been shorter than me, dresses don’t cover my bum, cropped shirts are just a nightmare and have only had one relationship (I’m 20)

I just feel so unfeminine sometimes, most guys are my height and pay me no interest as I’m not shorter than them, I think I have a nice personality and I’m kind and friendly, but it feels not enough :((

I just don’t know how to get past this, I’ve always dreamed of being smaller. Even photos make me so embarrassed I stand out ridiculously tall from the others

Obviously heels are not an option

Sorry the rambling, just needed to get this off my chest, my friends say my height is lovely but I don’t feel happy at all

Your height is something you literally cannot change about yourself so you need to work on learning to love it! I’m the same height as you and to be honest I’ve never felt that tall, but that’s partly because I come from a very tall family and I’m the shortest! But honestly unless you’re in a country where the average height is much shorter than it is in the UK, then I really can’t imagine you’re actually towering over everyone you meet. Some of it will definitely be in your head.

Lots of brands do Tall ranges now and there are lots of lovely knee/calf length dresses around so I can’t believe you literally cannot find dresses that don’t cover your bum.

Relationship wise, it really really is OK to date a person shorter than you, but again, if you really can’t bear it then I find it hard to believe you can’t find anyone over 5ft 9 to date!

Heels aren’t an option? Says who? So what if they make you taller than other people? Enjoy it!

There are lots of good things about being tall. You can reach things shorter people can’t, your legs are longer so you can in theory get around faster, and if you put on weight it tends to distribute itself over a greater area, so it’s less noticeable.

I think your self esteem is the problem here, not your height. You need to learn to love yourself more!

I'm 5'9" and I don't feel massively tall. A bit taller than average, sure, but I see loads of women out and about who are my height or taller. Teenage girls seem much taller than when I was their age. I love my height! No time for heels though, find them uncomfortable and impractical.

I have sympathy even though I'm the opposite end of the scale. are you very young?

For a long time, I berated myself like I was contractually obliged to be perfect. ie, optimum in every way, sexy, slim, the perfect height for clothes. It took me til middle age to forgive myself (which sounds ridiculous) for not being tall.

I owed it to nobody to be tall.

It's such a shame that we all waste our youths feeling ashamed that we're not x, y or z.

You are you and you owe it to nobody to be anything else.

I know that might sound like a load of bullshit but I hope that these feelings pass.

I am 6’1 and I embrace my height - I am not dainty with it, totally big all over and I have never felt unfeminine. I actually don’t think that 5’8 is particularly tall at all.

You just have to get over it, sorry to sound so blunt but It is what it is. You are only a few inches taller than average - big deal - my 11 year old is as tall as you and is easily a foot taller than all her friends and loves being tall. Attitude is everything. Buy the heels, own your space and stop worrying so much about something you can’t change

I'm 5'2". I would give anything not to have to ask random people in supermarkets to get things down for me. Teenage dd is taller than me. That said, I don't mind being this height.

Good grief I've always been very happy to be 5ft 8. I've often come out with similar height men. In fact my DH is just 5ft 8 in shoes so usually a bit shorter than me in every day life . I wore very high heels when younger. Now I'm old I've stopped but only because of the comfort issue

I'm 5 foot 10 and feel this! I still wear heels though and have just learned to avoid certain shops for dresses. Plt tall is a life saver! My friend is 6 foot 4 and she has had similar issues her whole life to. My OH is a bit taller than me although in heels we are the same height and hers is shorter. I've had to embrace it really- even though my students at work always comment on it! (Secondary school teacher)

I’m nowhere near as tall as you(5’1) and have always felt like the short friend. But I think it’s how you hold yourself. If you look confident, shoulders, back, how you stand, you radiate confidence and the opposite sex are often drawn to that.
Most clothes shops sell tall ranges so I’d aim for those and flaunt what you’ve got! I bet your legs go in for dayssss! Jealous? Moi?!

oh sorry, you're only 20

This is definitely a growing in to yourself issue not a height issue.

All women are ''primed'' to feel almost apologetic for not being what men want them to be, whatever that may be.

You will shake off these feelings as time goes by.
Look after yourself and take a more internal view of things. You know what I mean?

I’m 5ft 8 and don’t think of myself as especially tall, just normal height. Do you have really short friends?!

I'm sorry you feel like this. In the same height and just owned it.

My husband is the same hight as me and to start with I didn't wear heels with him but now I do on a night out as they make me feel great and always seem to be more fun when dancing.

I found lots of men love tall women and lots of men are 6' or taller. Own a pair of heels on a night out if they make you feel good. That inner confidante will make you feel good inside and that will show on the inside.

My guess is it might be your inner confidence which is holding you back. You sound lovely. Try and remember that and let it flow out. It's corny but true, love yourself and others will love you more too.

I know what you mean, sometimes I wished I was a few inches shorter so I could wear heels and nab a few more men but being the same height as your partner also has its benefits. Also one of my friends who is 5'10" just just married a wonderful man who is 5" sorter than her and they are so happy.

Embrace those long legs, show them off and love yourself. Fashion wise if you look you can find lots of fashion that works. My sister is nearly 6' and she has an amazing wardrobe of clothes.

Seeing as it’s something you can’t physically change... all you can try to do is deal with it. You say you don’t like being taller then everyone. You know what makes someone noticeable? A bad posture. Seeing as you ARE tall, you are going to be seen so make it for the right reasons. Stand tall. Get your shoulders back. Don’t live in flats (they can make you look even taller and kinda flat footed). Walk with a stride. You are never going to be the petite one. So be the tall elegant one. Glide!

I’m 5 11, I had many wobbles of being self conscious about height along with everything else, but at this stage, I see it as a total asset. 100% asset! I love it.

I’m 5’9” and I love it! I see it as the taller side of average and not exceptional in any way. I’ve got long legs which look great in miniskirts and I’ve never found it an issue with men. My DH is 6 foot and says he wishes I was shorter sometimes (so he can feel more manly I expect), but I’ve never given the tiniest of shits! It’s great 😄. I really can’t understand it as a negative.

My side of the family are all tall. At 5'7" I am the second shortest.

You should be proud of your height and stand tall. However, I do understand that being much taller than your vertically challenged friends is sometimes an issue.

I bet you look better in jeans than they do.

It's funny /sad (?) reading that some taller women had to gain the confidence to wear heels because it's only in the last five years that I will buy flat boots. For so many years I wouldn't buy boots if they didn't have a 3'' heel. And I wasn't good at spiky heels so my hunt for boots i could walk in was like a part time job. i felt like I was exposing my disability if I walked about revealing my real height!

It's funny how now I can walk about in almost flat boots and not even think about ''i'm so short everybody is thinking less of me'' but I would have thought like that in my 20s.

You are so lucky! Tall is beautiful! I think no matter what height you are, you'd maybe always have an insecurity about something and that won't resolve itself until you begin to love yourself more. Believe me, I've been there.

Oh I get it, I'm taller than you and I used to hate it when I was younger. But then in my early 20s I got really fit, and started rock climbing and hanging out with other really fit people and suddenly being tall and strong was a huge positive. I'm in my 40s now and I can honestly say I haven't hated being tall for 20 years. There are so many negative messages out there about tall women, and women who don't fit a particular mold, but it's all sexist bullshit and you need to find a way of filtering it out, since you're never going to be able to change your height. Tall really can be exceptionally beautiful, you need to find a way of straightening your spine and standing proud! (Literally and metaphorically).

My mother always gave me the LEAST sympathetic response imaginable. She used to say ''be grateful you can walk'' when I complained about being short.

OP I’m 5’10 and love it.
ASOS Tall is my best friend, SO many options which means I can finally find nice short dresses / skirts that cover my bum.

I’m 5’11 and I love being tall. I can reach things, I can look men in the eye, I can see over people’s heads and I’m not like everyone else. I like being different.

My height has always been an excellent dickhead detector when dating. If a guy is so pathetically insecure that he has an issue with me being taller than him, he isn’t worth bothering with. Only real men, of whatever height, need apply.

DD (16) is 6’1. She’s had a rocky few years hating her height but is starting to learn to embrace it. Her 2 best friends are very small so that doesn’t help!
Tall ranges are a lifesaver (although she probably sends more back than keeps) but it’s more of a struggle when it comes to shoes. She’s been told many a time to look at the men’s trainers 😠

I'm 5ft7 and don't consider myself particularly tall - I wouldn't mind another inch or two! You really need to work on your self confidence and stop thinking of yourself as being so different - if anything this thread has proven that you aren't.

Ahh you’re only 20 day one relationship is really not a big deal. I’ve been married 25 years and met DH at 20 so please don’t fret. I’m 5ft 5 and would love to be your height! My DH is well over 6ft and so are many men. Personally any man under under6ft wouldn’t be on my radar so perhaps you’ve met the wrong guys. It takes a while to learn to love who you are. Women of all shapes and sizes want to change something. Try to see all the positives as although this sounds cringe, it’s not your height but your confidence and happiness that shines.

I'm 5'8" & never really considered myself that tall.

Its about working on accepting your body, and liking it, easier said than done I know.

My friend is 6'1" -
She wears heels if she wants to & has never been short of boyfriends.

I fear my daughter may hate her height one day - she's is over 5'10" & her feet are size 10.5 (I can only get her mens shoes) . She has just turned 12. Right now she isn't bothered, I hope it stays that way. Her dad is 6'8" so I doubt she's finished growing yet

I'm 5"9 and never ever have an issue. Get stuff from the tall section. My daughter feels the same as you and to be honest I tell her to get a grip it's such a ridiculous thing to worry about when you can never change it. She is 16 and has also never struggled for a boyfriend. There is plenty of men taller. I can wear really high heels and my 6"1 husband is still taller. It just isnt something I can find sympathy for it's not abnormally tall.