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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I hate my height

258 replies

Purpledolphin223 · 14/11/2020 17:10

I’m 5’8, nearly 5’9 and I absolutely hate my height

Most of my life many of my friends have been shorter than me, dresses don’t cover my bum, cropped shirts are just a nightmare and have only had one relationship (I’m 20)

I just feel so unfeminine sometimes, most guys are my height and pay me no interest as I’m not shorter than them, I think I have a nice personality and I’m kind and friendly, but it feels not enough :((

I just don’t know how to get past this, I’ve always dreamed of being smaller. Even photos make me so embarrassed I stand out ridiculously tall from the others

Obviously heels are not an option

Sorry the rambling, just needed to get this off my chest, my friends say my height is lovely but I don’t feel happy at all

OP posts:
slothtrot · 14/11/2020 17:53

5 foot 8 isn't really that tall TBH. I'm a bit taller than you and I've never had an issue with it, plenty of women are taller and especially ones of your age. One relationship at age 20 is not a big deal either TBH. My DD is a similar age and she's had 2 relationships.

larrythelizard · 14/11/2020 17:54

I'm 5ft 11 so taller than you and completely understand how you feel. For years I hunched and tried to disappear into a crowd.

Over the last few years I've gained some self confidence and don't care, and can't believe how much time I fretted over being tall and having big feet.

I suspect it's your lack of confidence and not your height that is your barrier with relationships. Maybe try focussing on bits of you that you like, for example have you got killer curves or great hair?

In terms of practical stuff, I am a fan of midi length dresses and rarely buy stuff not from a tall range (it just fits me better) - next, ASOS, new look, Dorothy Perkins all have decent ranges. I find I'm not tall enough (nor do I like!) Long Tall Sally. I used to wear heels but these days am too lazy!

Shantotto · 14/11/2020 17:55

I’m 6ft and it’s a pain with clothes really - lots of beans I like do t do tall fits but then again there are loads and loads of proper tall ranges these days! I’ve got size 8 wide feet so that is a pain too but I manage fine. I’ll never be dainty but who cares?!
I’ve had plenty of relationships and hardly any of the men involved have been significantly taller than me! My DP is 5’10.5 and we always joke about how he always thought he was 6’ until he met me!

Maybe you need to work on your self confidence more generally? I really don’t think 5’i is abnormally tall! Flowers

MaskingForIt · 14/11/2020 17:56

I’m 5 ft 11 and neither love it or hate it - it’s just who I am.

I’d love to have met a 6+ ft hunk and dated a few, but they always thought their height made them a prize possession and were twats.

I’m very happily married to a lovely man who is a few inches shorter than me.

What really matters in the end is what is inside - the outer is just packaging.

WLmum · 14/11/2020 17:56

6ft er here, so I'd consider you very much average height. I was self conscious as a teenager but honestly my head is filled with so much else, there's not room for worry about things I can't change. My height is part of who I am. My dh is a couple of inches shorter than me. All my friends are shorter than me, in fact I may have never met a woman taller than me.
I honestly don't notice on a day to day basis. My teen dd does say she doesn't want to be as tall as me, so I guess she notices.
You need to learn to accept your whole self, even if you find you cannot love it. If you could fix your height, I wonder if another aspect of your physical self would take its place on the hitlist. Easy to say, but hard to do, but I would recommend that you give it some thought, and think about what might help you to move forward, whether that's self help books, inspirational podcasts or even therapy.

peepercountry · 14/11/2020 17:57

DH is 6ft 2 & still feel "small" next to him.

fluffiphlox · 14/11/2020 17:57

I’m your height but in my 60s. I used to feel tall but not anymore. Not that I minded my height. Youngsters are mainly gigantic. I would embrace it. You can’t alter it.

IrkedEssex · 14/11/2020 17:59

I'm 5'10" and wore ridiculously high heels for years until I couldn't bear the discomfort any more.

The worst aspect for me about my height is that it comes with size 8 feet and when I was younger it was really hard to find shoes that fitted.

I've always rather enjoyed my height and don't find it excessive, though most boyfriends were shorter than me and I've always been partial to a tall man. Oh well. The height gives me a certain presence automatically, which can be useful. Nobody puts Irked in the corner!

There's little point in saying "embrace it" because you won't until you're ready, but really it's the only way.

SnackRussell · 14/11/2020 17:59

I’m 5’9 and I often feel short! I know so many other women who are taller than me. I don’t think it’s particularly tall to be honest.

I wear heels and sometimes I love being taller than everyone else! Being bigger than most men makes me feel far less intimidated by them too.

AlexisIsMySpiritAnimal · 14/11/2020 17:59

"Most of my life many of my friends have been shorter than me, dresses don’t cover my bum, cropped shirts are just a nightmare and have only had one relationship (I’m 20)"

Your "life" so far has been, what?! 2-4ish years of being the height you are now. And you really aren't even that tall! And only having one relationship isn't unusual at 20.
You can't do anything about your height so look where does good Tall ranges in clothes (loads!) and work on your self image and self love.

caringcarer · 14/11/2020 18:00

5 foot exactly and don't care. Learn to love yourself.

BashfulClam · 14/11/2020 18:01

Dorothy Perkins standard range fits me at 5’9”. I have really long legs and an ex was obsessed with them. He loved me wearing dresses, skirts and heels and that I could wrap them around him Blush possibly tmi. What I’m saying though is what you hate about you someone else might love. I hate my chin, DH says it’s cute and pointy like a pixie...

MaskingForIt · 14/11/2020 18:02

You can't do anything about your height so look where does good Tall ranges in clothes (loads!) and work on your self image and self love.

Sage advice.

Next do a good Tall range, as do M&S if you like their style.

Long Tall Sally is where I buy most of my tops as I have monkey arms to go with my long legs. They’re not cheap, but do often have good sales. LTS stuff also appears on eBay fairly often.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 14/11/2020 18:02

I used to feel the same up until about your age. I am 5"9 and my friend was 5"10. We used to go out as a trio with our friend who was about 5"2 and it literally felt like we were her bodyguards fending off suitors 🤣🤣🤣 Now, I love being tall. You can gain a bit of weight and it doesn't really notice, you have lovely long legs.... I have only ever been attracted to men above six foot and have always worn heels and love it. Embrace it OP.

dudsville · 14/11/2020 18:02

It's such a shame. It can't be fixed. It's such a part of who you are. I'm 5'7", a lot of people in my family are 6foot, but my mother is 5foot. Growing up I was so scared of being short, I'm sorry, I was a child! I really hoped for 5'10". I have to be content with what I've got!

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 14/11/2020 18:04

@Staffy1
Yes, people are getting taller every generation, I assume due to better nutrition.

I'm 5ft5.5 and was taller than all my peers through to the 4th year at school, at which point the girls started catching up with me and the boys shot past. Then I just stopped growing, pretty much! I think I was 5ft5 when I left school. I am, however, the tallest in my family (including all the men) so I always feel I'm on the tall side of average - but often I realise women who are younger than me tend to be taller.

OP it sounds like a general body confidence issue as your height isn't really that unusual in a woman. You mentioned men don't approach you - do you tend to slouch down because you feel self-conscious about being tall? I've found poor posture definitely is not attractive! Self-confidence is really attractive. If you're struggling to find flattering clothes, I'd really recommend giving StitchFix a try - I've been using them for about 4 months following a recommendation on here, as I've always really felt clueless about picking out clothes. Like I was off school sick when that class happened! At the ripe old age of 46 I am finally finding things I like thanks to this service.

TattiePants · 14/11/2020 18:04

Everyone has something they are self conscious about and 5’8 really isn’t that tall. I’m 5’11” and have always loved my height, my boobs and stomach on the other hand..... DH is 6’4 but I’ve also had boyfriends that were the same size or slightly smaller than me and their / my height has never been a factor. DD is 9 and 5’1 already so I imagine she’s going to be taller than me.

inappropriateraspberry · 14/11/2020 18:05

I'm 5' 7" and although I know I'm taller than average, I wouldn't say I'm particularly tall or have problems with clothes because of it.
I don't feel I stand out. Do you have especially short friends?

Enterthedragons · 14/11/2020 18:06

I’m 5ft 8 and it’s hardly ever even occurred to me that I’m tall. I think you’re overthinking this...

Asantesana · 14/11/2020 18:07

But...tall is beautiful! Really it is. And 5'8" is not significantly tall is it?

My stepdaughter is 5'11" at 14 years old, and her mother, my partner, is 6', as am I.

The only drawback is that we live in a little old cottage with low ceilings and doorways!

Embrace your height - it is gorgeous

Anna713 · 14/11/2020 18:08

I'm nearly your height and I love it. I dont think 5ft 8 is that tall anyway. Only slightly taller than average. Most men seem to love tall women. My husband is only slightly taller than me but he has always liked tall women with long legs. At least that's what he tells me. I'm also a lot older than you and I think being tall makes me look younger somehow. (probabIy my imagination) Smile I suppose what I'm trying to say is own your height OP. If you feel good you will look good and I bet you look fabulous

FourEyesGood · 14/11/2020 18:09

I’m 5’10”. My best friend in my late teens and early twenties was about 5’2”. One evening when we were drunk, I lamented that “I always feel like a lumpen giant next to you”. She was horrified and said that she’d always felt like an insignificant little nothing next to me. We agreed to stop feeling inferior and enjoy our respective heights.

Frankiegoes · 14/11/2020 18:09

I’m 5”8 and didn’t like being tall when I was a teenager. All my friends were much smaller than me and when we used to get together with boys, the boys used to mess around doing piggy backs and girls sitting on their laps etc. I felt enormous at that point, often left out, and was bigger than many of the boys.

I think it does affect the way you feel about your femininity. However, I’m quite happy with my height now, although I do feel better if I keep slim.

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 14/11/2020 18:09

Another 6ft here.

Hated my height as a teen, learned to embrace it in my 20's. I always wore heels.

Some things suck, hoods don't fit fully over your head, always have to roll up sleeves as they are too short, long enough trousers that fit well on the hips and crotch are gold dust and a one piece swimsuit will cut you in half!

Dh is a couple of inches shorter than me but it's never bothered us.

Icenii · 14/11/2020 18:10

I'm under 5 foot and dislike my height. I also think I look daft in photos. Nothing fits me. I have to work very hard to over come other peoples unconscious bias at work. People assume I'm weak. I'm in my 40s and still think about more than I should.

Get fit and healthy. Embrace a strong body. Would martial arts or similar help? Focus on fitness not appearance.