I hate my height

[Purpledolphin223]

I’m 5’8, nearly 5’9 and I absolutely hate my height

Most of my life many of my friends have been shorter than me, dresses don’t cover my bum, cropped shirts are just a nightmare and have only had one relationship (I’m 20)

I just feel so unfeminine sometimes, most guys are my height and pay me no interest as I’m not shorter than them, I think I have a nice personality and I’m kind and friendly, but it feels not enough :((

I just don’t know how to get past this, I’ve always dreamed of being smaller. Even photos make me so embarrassed I stand out ridiculously tall from the others

Obviously heels are not an option

Sorry the rambling, just needed to get this off my chest, my friends say my height is lovely but I don’t feel happy at all

Being tall doesn’t mean you’re unfeminine, nothing wrong with your height OP I remember feeling very insecure about how I looked too skinny/bony but I’ve grown to accept it now that I’m a bit older

On a side note I’m surprised by pp saying 5ft9 isn’t tall or is average. Obviously younger generation are likely to be taller but even so the average height for women is still 5ft4.
If 5ft9 is average, then do you think 5ft4 is short?? It’s really not in my opinion

I have noticed though when I visit London I see a lot more taller women... but in my home town in the Midlands - majority of women seem to be 5ft3 to 5ft7, including my friends / family / large workplace

Just under 5' 9'' is not super tall.
I'm slightly shorter than that.

But I agree that a lot of men are shorter than that.
Also, a lot of tall / very tall men seem to go for short / very short women.
I suspect men prefer short women in general.

@readingismycardio

I'll take a few inches if you can spare them

Oooh, eerrr, missus...

@LadyInParis aw I know how hard it is. Viruses and bacteria are the predominant life forms on the planet, they'll be gone long after we are. But we have love, senses and memories which they don't. You have your grandad which they don't have. OP is0 just trying to make a mental readjustment to new isolation and lack of normal freedom.

We're not enclosing ourselves in a glass bubble, however! Just sensible precautions.

I can sympathise. I’m the same height and being a tall woman is a double edged sword. Without any intent of condescension, I learned to embrace my height as I aged. I was taller than all the boys in my teens, and I was definitely on the receiving end of some really shitty comments from very insecure men in my 20s. One BF told me my height was emasculating, another told me (when I was wearing modest heels) that I was so tall I looked like a man in drag. Charming. Years later, I have come to accept that was their problem, not mine.

It’s not helped by the fact that a lot of men—especially tall ones for some reason—say they prefer shorter women because it makes them feel protective. So no, I have never had a man scoop me up in his arms, nor have I ever been able to sit on anyone’s lap without it looking absurd, but my lovely DH is the same height as me, walks proudly with me when I wear heels, and calls me an Amazon warrior princess. And it took me a minute, but I’m totally ok with that now.

There’s literally nothing any of us can do about height, so I hope that you can soon embrace it and be the proud, tall, beautiful you that you are.

Dad reached over 6ft & Mum 5ft 7 - both had mothers that were 4ft 10 and under.
I took after my grandmothers unfortunately... .
Own your height, clothes will always hang well on you. Just look at online shopping - they always put the models height & size & the models are usually 5ft 8+!
I've bought dresses over lockdown & look like a short sack of spuds in 'petite' versions of clothes that looked wonderful on the 5ft 8 models.
Stand tall & proud! Delight in your stature!

I'm 5"8 and love my height. The only down side ( which took me ages to work out) is that clothes often are not designed with your height in mind - particularly the smaller the size, so tops were always too short and trousers never quite reach my waist. The taller section can give you a better fit.
I've always embraced the not wearing heels as I hate them!

I'm very short. So wish I had another 3 or 4 inches.

But 5.8/9 isn't that tall?

I clicked on this expecting you to be much taller ... my DD is over 6ft.

Im 5ft 10. I dont think ive ever hated my height, was annoying as a teen when alot of the lads were shorter than me😅

Dp is taller than me, only a problem when i wear heels, which isnt often, then i tower over him.

I hate having big feet more than anything. You see all these lovely shoes that look dainty in size 3 or 4 then my size looks like a canoe😅

Look at all the fabulous tall woman like Zoe Ball and she wears huge heels! As a teenager I sometimes felt self concious but I love it now! My petite mum always says you can wear x because you are so lovely and tall, on me it looks drab. Lots of men love tall woman ignore the insecure ones. I think everyone has something they don’t like about themselves, just be kinder to yourself when you see a photograph reframe it as you would for a friend e.g. I like the way I’m standing straight or love my hair! Or to feel small head to Holland or Germany for a holiday there’s loads taller than you there! You’ll stand taller as you’ll realise you miss being the tallest!

I'm 5'10" very lanky, didn't like my height as a teen but now it's great, nice long legs look good in most clothes. I'm married to a 6' husband, we match together nicely. Feet size 6.5, what's not to love 🥰

I was the same height as my friends till I was 13 when I seemed to grow like a beanstalk. I spent a year trying to walk smaller, knees bent being a favourite. Then I realised this was my height and I better get over my feelings of discomfort. I was a teenager in the 1960's and considered unusually tall, I got lots of rude comments from boys, 'is it cold up there' being a classic. I was also very skinny despite eating five time what I do now. One holiday in Wales I got "Biafran refugee" shouted in the street every day. There was a famine in Biafra at the time. Some people are just disgusting and I learned to feel that, disgust rather than embarrassment.
My daughters are all around 6ft and have no embarrassment thank goodness. Purpledolphin, I don't mean to be rude but, have you considered talking therapy? I haven't RTFT which I usually do before suggesting something like that. It's easy to say embrace your height which is how I feel about it. x

Can I say - height is a funny thing.

When I was a child I was very tall for my age and towered over my classmates. I got used to hearing "My word - isn't she TALL" from everybody - even random strangers. and I developed this image of myself as some sort of giant.

I reached my present height (5'3) when I was 11. Then my periods started and I just stopped growing. Meanwhile, almost everyone else outstripped me in the height stakes and I ended up being average - but still had this image in my head of being some sort of Amazon.

One day I heard myself described as "that little woman up the street" and (like a 3 year old! ) I thought - "But I'm BIG!" and then I started to take notice of myself compared to others - and yep! I was a "little woman from up the street".

I've never quite recovered from the shock of that revelation . . .

I can see how you feel you stick out if your friends are shorter, but really 5'8 is not particularly tall. I think women only really stand out as tall nowadays when over 5'10.

My sister's best friend was 6' at school in the 1970s. She was exceptional in those days and buying clothes and shoes was a nightmare. She used to have to wear boys shoes because there were no women's shoes big enough without being specially made, which they couldn't afford. She now finds it much easier because thal women are much more common.

My daughters are 5'8 and are very happy with their height and it doesn't stop them wearing heels when they want to. I'm 5'2 and would love to be taller (like others I was tall until I got to about 11, and then just stopped growing).

I’m 6ft 1 (with size 10 feet) so I do understand your feelings on feeling unfeminine and the difficulties on finding clothes that fit. I have been called a freak, man in drag, stared at and laughed at and generally abused on many occasions so what I am about to say is truly not meant to belittle your feelings.
5ft 9 is on the slightly taller side but you are certainly not excessive and I would therefore ask could you be focusing too hard on your height as being the reason for feeling low in confidence, is it a case of “if only”, if only I was shorter, prettier, slimmer, richer, funnier my life would be perfect. I’m sorry but It won’t be.
We can not change our height and indeed for most people they will be unable to change that part of them that they hate. All we can do is embrace it and understand that it does not define us. In fact I would go as far as to say my height has given me more than it has taken away. I have realised that questions about how tall I am are a conversation starter and not always as I had assumed ridicule, my height makes me noticeable and that is an advantage in this world.
Happiness is not about being the perfect height, weight, look but realising that you are perfect just as you are.
There will be days where you feel awkward and out of place but so does everyone. I hate standing next to short people as they make me feel like a giant but some of the nicest, funniest warmest people I know are short and I would miss out on this because of my hang up.
As for love and a partner I have never found my height to be a stumbling block and have now been happily married for longer than you have been alive .
Be proud, head up and showcase those amazing long legs

I’m 5ft 9 and hated it when I lived in Asia, but rest of the time love being tall.

As PP have said, you can carry a bit of extra weight without it being too noticeable. I have a weird sense of pride in my height even though it’s just luck!

Move to Australia and then you won’t seem tall - every time we go, I am amazed at how tall the women typically are there. My SIL is 5 11 and says she feels about average height there.

I'm 5'9 but feel small as I'm surrounded by people who are much taller than me.
Pretty much all my friends are my height or taller (2 girl friends over 6')
My DS's are 6'3"and 6'2"and are still in their teens.
Nephews are both 6'5"
DD is our "Tiny Dot" she is 5'6".
I'm sorry you feel how you do

I'm 5.4 and would love to be tall. Sometimes it's hard to accept ourselves as we are ❤️

I’m 4ft l0ins and everything is an effort. From kitchen shelves to supermarket shelves, car pedals, seats, chairs etc. Everything is made for tallies.
I would love to be your height. How glamorous you must look in your clothes. Not like a dumpy little person.
Hold your head up high. Embrace every inch of your tallness. You are lucky.

I'm 5ft and ive genuinely never had a problem buying clothes

Also when you put weight on its not as obvious when you're tall.Learn to love it!

I’m also 5’8 (and a half!) and I hated it when I was younger. I towered over all my friends! But young women are getting taller now, I don’t think 5’8 is that tall now. I work with teenagers and a lot of them are as tall or taller. I’m mid/late 30s and still feel tall in my age group.
I love my height now, I’m reasonably slim so don’t feel massive. Never had any issues with lack of tall enough men 😁
With clothes I usually find the bum is in the wrong place in fitted dresses, and obviously length can be a bit indecent! I don’t notice this so much now, could be that clothes makers are realising women are getting taller, or it could be me getting out less and wearing less dresses!
Get those heels on and embrace it.

I am really surprised by your post! I am quite a bit taller than you and I love it. These days plenty of shops make taller ranges of clothes, and most beautiful clothes by designers are specifically made for the tall and slim body type (look at the models they use for their collections!). Being tall makes you look elegant. Embrace it! I find tall men attractive so it's never been an issue for me in that respect.

I don't think your height is unusual actually, certainly not among the women I know. The average height statistics are massively scewed by age because previous generations were smaller due to poorer nutrition etc, so as young woman now you are not very much above the average height!

Do you think you may have other insecurities that you may be projecting/ displacing onto your height?