Row with DH over toddler clothes...

[WeeWelshWoman]

This morning, my husband wanted to put our toddler in exactly the same jeans and jumper he wore yesterday (changed vest and t-shirt). I asked him to at least change the jumper because otherwise it looked like we were sending our child out in exactly the same clothes two days in a row.

He got huffy and said it was insane when I said sometimes other mums/ nursery staff may talk and I just wanted the jumper swapped. That he could wear it on the weekend instead if it was ok.

My husband thinks that other parents never comment on children wearing the same clothes two or three days in a row. I disagree (memories from school and being bullied about it). I pointed out that as a guy, any negative comments would never be made towards him, but to me.

He says I'm putting my experiences on our son. I agree, to a point, but I want to stop this lazy just grabbing the nearest items that sort of look clean enough habit now, before it does become an issue.

For reference, I was a free school meals kid for most of my childhood. My husband is from a much pushed background and went to boarding school. I think this may have impacted his view on this.

AIBU to not want my son to go to nursery in exactly the same clothes two or three days in a row?

I'm not adverse to reusing clean clothes. I just don't want him visibly in the same outfit.

YANBU I might do the same outfit 2 days in a row at home but I wouldn't do it for nursery in case the staff talked about it. Also from a poorer background and I was bullied at school for being dirty so I'm extra paranoid that it shouldn't happen to my kids.

@Chloemol You're wrong-ONE person does care about this and that's the OP-she doesn't need to "grow up" either-she's clearly listening to other people's opinions and responding maturely

Thanks for the kind and insightful comments from many - including many who disagrees with me. A few people haven't read the OP or the thread - but that's MN for you.

If they were still clean I'd just put them on a pile for another day, we had a box of worn but clean clothes.
As they got dirty they went in the wash.
Kept the pile of washing down and nobody wore the same things the next day.
It was just a trunk/ box type of thing in their rooms.

DH and I had a nice healthy chat earlier today and have resolved the issue :) really appreciate those who helped me.see his perspective as well as my own.

@Devilesko that's what we generally do - we have some IKEA boxes just for it :) I just don't do two days in a row of the same clothes (well, not to nursery). Same as I wouldn't do two days of the same to work etc. :)

Thank you @AGoatAteIt I think you've captured what I was trying to say this morning far better than I managed it at the time :)

Op you are being a bit crazy about this. As long as the clothes are clean, no one is going to think anything of a child wearing the same outfit all week, never mind for just 2 days. As an adult I would wear the same jeans and jumper for (at least) a week. It never occurred to me that someone would think that I don't have any other clothes. Not that I would care if they did anyway.
I am just from a normal background, have never had to worry about being poor luckily.
Of course it's up to you if you want your child in different clothes each day - but stop worrying about what others think! You are the parent. If you think your child's clothes are fine, then they are.

I totally agree with you, there's no need to wear them twice especially on nursery days.
We got the box as with 3 of them I thought it better for the environment and like you didn't like same clothes on twice.
Mine are all grown up now, but my ds1 has adopted the box with his dc. and on it goes.

I don't understand the concept of a toddler's clothes still being clean at the end of the day, must just be my DS....

I'm with your husband. You are overthinking this.

I'm sorry about your childhood, but please don't think about what other people think about what you dress your children in. And stop judging other people's choices before your children pick up on it.

I barely know what my kids ware wearing and certainly not what they wore yesterday. I would have no idea what anyone else's is wearing.

If they are clean then they are clean.

You are at risk of installing in a child that their like ability is linked to what they look like at a very young age... I have no idea what I send my own kids to nursery in let alone other people’s kids

Surely except for a coat no one would
expect a toddler to wear anything more than once. Sorry it would definitely be jeans and jumper in the wash after one wear.

1. I wouldn't notice, 2. I really couldn't care less what someone else's kid is wearing.

@Bagelsandbrie

I can see what you mean but the poshest and richest people I know are often the scruffiest....! I don’t think anyone cares.

Yep! Inner confidence

I don't think other people will even notice what your child wears from day to day but I do agree it's a bit of a class /background issue. When I was a student teacher in the early 80s I was on a placement at a nursery in an area described as being quite deprived. There were also a number of middle class families who had bought houses in the area (the beginning of gentrification). Guess which children wore the jumble sale /scruffy clothes.

I think that's a bit unfair/a sweeping generalisation. I'm on a ridiculously income, but don't try to compensate by putting my daughters in flashy gear. As long as they are clean and presentable, I'm not too fussed. Your post oozes judgement.

That was in reply to @BabyLlamaZen.

I’m saddened that some of the responses are along the lines of I couldn’t possibly put my child in the same clothes two days running because I luffs them

This does not make you a good parent.

Oh, and if you are really worried about bullying, maybe you should stop judging other people.

@al1langdownthecleghole

How judgy is your post????
Fml, no FYL

You are at risk of installing in a child that their like ability is linked to what they look like at a very young age... I have no idea what I send my own kids to nursery in let alone other people’s kids

We’re in the middle of a pandemic and most nurseries and schools ask you to put your child in clean clothes each day to reduce the spread of covid. I guess coats don’t matter so much as they wash their hands when they get in and after breaktimes or outdoor play.

I work in healthcare, we have to wear clean clothes (ideally scrubs) every day. And I don’t work on a covid ward.

I think it’s basic hygiene to wear a clean outfit daily, unless you’re staying indoors. Just like a daily shower, why would you wear yesterday’s clothes afterwards?

@Dipi79

I think that's a bit unfair/a sweeping generalisation. I'm on a ridiculously income, but don't try to compensate by putting my daughters in flashy gear. As long as they are clean and presentable, I'm not too fussed. Your post oozes judgement.

I didnt mean this in a nasty way, I'm sorry if it came across as so. It's genuinely what I have seen so it was more for you to realise that worrying about in this way is unnecessary and actually counterproductive to what you're trying to achieve!

I think you are projecting your own experiences onto your dc.

Yes childrens clothes should be changed if visibly dirty or smelly but if not it's such a waste to keep washing them.

My dm always made us wear clean each day for fear of what people would say but it was unnecessary most of the time.

In experience though my dc never made it out of nursery clean enough to reuse clothes which I think meant they had plenty of fun

Yanbu, I dont understand why if they are fit to wear again, they cant simply be put away and worn again after something else has been worn. Agree it's weird to wear the same two days running, but fine to wear the clothes again maybe 2 or 3 days later without needing to wash them first.