Row with DH over toddler clothes...

[WeeWelshWoman]

This morning, my husband wanted to put our toddler in exactly the same jeans and jumper he wore yesterday (changed vest and t-shirt). I asked him to at least change the jumper because otherwise it looked like we were sending our child out in exactly the same clothes two days in a row.

He got huffy and said it was insane when I said sometimes other mums/ nursery staff may talk and I just wanted the jumper swapped. That he could wear it on the weekend instead if it was ok.

My husband thinks that other parents never comment on children wearing the same clothes two or three days in a row. I disagree (memories from school and being bullied about it). I pointed out that as a guy, any negative comments would never be made towards him, but to me.

He says I'm putting my experiences on our son. I agree, to a point, but I want to stop this lazy just grabbing the nearest items that sort of look clean enough habit now, before it does become an issue.

For reference, I was a free school meals kid for most of my childhood. My husband is from a much pushed background and went to boarding school. I think this may have impacted his view on this.

AIBU to not want my son to go to nursery in exactly the same clothes two or three days in a row?

I'm not adverse to reusing clean clothes. I just don't want him visibly in the same outfit.

[RattleOfBars]

I would say generally the most affluent children will have longer loose hair (boys and girls). No clipper cuts on boys, no tight braids on girls

That’s interesting. It must vary area to area. We’re in quite an affluent area and girls tend to have short bobbed hair, boys either clipped sides and long waves on top or longer bob styles.

The only boys with long hair seem to be the ones in Maxomorra with hippy type rainbow-haired heavily tattooed mums. Or the boys wearing tops with heavy metal bands/rock slogans!

But like your area, Mar Mar is popular here. And Bobo Choses, Bang Bang, Joules, Boden, Jo Jo, Bobux, Molo etc.

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

There seems to be this thing on mnet about well off middle class kids being scruffy.

I'm just not sure it's really accurate. I live in an expensive naice village in the home counties. It's predominantly middle or even upper middle class. The children are generally well dressed - john lewis, joules, jojo, boden, or scandi brands, very trendy stuff like marmar, turtledove. No one is wearing worn old stuff and having been shopping with people, while an odd second hand bargain is valued, it's not the mainstay of how they buy their children's clothing. Most of the parents are working professionals who lack the time to trawl charity shops or ebay.

I would say generally the most affluent children will have longer loose hair (boys and girls). No clipper cuts on boys, no tight braids on girls.

But I wouldn't say well off kids are scruffily dressed, at all.

[Noitjustwontdo]

My DC wear the same uniform two days running unless it has marks on it from food or grass on the trousers or whatever. They obviously change socks/tights and undies daily but I think it’s pointless changing the whole uniform every day. I’ll make them change their school shirt daily when they grow up and start sweating.

[carly2803]

i personally put the kids in fresh clothes daily - but they always get dirty.

1 wear and they go in the wash! if they stay clean (ahahaha), they can be reworn!

[waltzeswithsnobs]

DS(4) school has also requested that the children wear freshly cleaned clothes every day.

[Kiki275]

I don't mind rewearing clean looking clothes but it's in our nursery Covid policy that the children should (where & if possible) go in clean clothes. I understand where you're coming from but also your DH's.x

[NoIDontWatchLoveIsland]

Yanbu, I dont understand why if they are fit to wear again, they cant simply be put away and worn again after something else has been worn. Agree it's weird to wear the same two days running, but fine to wear the clothes again maybe 2 or 3 days later without needing to wash them first.

[Sewrainbow]

I think you are projecting your own experiences onto your dc.

Yes childrens clothes should be changed if visibly dirty or smelly but if not it's such a waste to keep washing them.

My dm always made us wear clean each day for fear of what people would say but it was unnecessary most of the time.

In experience though my dc never made it out of nursery clean enough to reuse clothes which I think meant they had plenty of fun

[BabyLlamaZen]

@Dipi79

I think that's a bit unfair/a sweeping generalisation. I'm on a ridiculously income, but don't try to compensate by putting my daughters in flashy gear. As long as they are clean and presentable, I'm not too fussed. Your post oozes judgement.

I didnt mean this in a nasty way, I'm sorry if it came across as so. It's genuinely what I have seen so it was more for you to realise that worrying about in this way is unnecessary and actually counterproductive to what you're trying to achieve!

[RattleOfBars]

You are at risk of installing in a child that their like ability is linked to what they look like at a very young age... I have no idea what I send my own kids to nursery in let alone other people’s kids

We’re in the middle of a pandemic and most nurseries and schools ask you to put your child in clean clothes each day to reduce the spread of covid. I guess coats don’t matter so much as they wash their hands when they get in and after breaktimes or outdoor play.

I work in healthcare, we have to wear clean clothes (ideally scrubs) every day. And I don’t work on a covid ward.

I think it’s basic hygiene to wear a clean outfit daily, unless you’re staying indoors. Just like a daily shower, why would you wear yesterday’s clothes afterwards?

[DrManhattan]

@al1langdownthecleghole

How judgy is your post????
Fml, no FYL

[Al1langdownthecleghole]

I’m saddened that some of the responses are along the lines of I couldn’t possibly put my child in the same clothes two days running because I luffs them

This does not make you a good parent.

Oh, and if you are really worried about bullying, maybe you should stop judging other people.

[Dipi79]

That was in reply to @BabyLlamaZen.

[Dipi79]

I think that's a bit unfair/a sweeping generalisation. I'm on a ridiculously income, but don't try to compensate by putting my daughters in flashy gear. As long as they are clean and presentable, I'm not too fussed. Your post oozes judgement.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

I don't think other people will even notice what your child wears from day to day but I do agree it's a bit of a class /background issue. When I was a student teacher in the early 80s I was on a placement at a nursery in an area described as being quite deprived. There were also a number of middle class families who had bought houses in the area (the beginning of gentrification). Guess which children wore the jumble sale /scruffy clothes.

[ivftake1]

@Bagelsandbrie

I can see what you mean but the poshest and richest people I know are often the scruffiest....! I don’t think anyone cares.

Yep! Inner confidence

[ivftake1]

1. I wouldn't notice, 2. I really couldn't care less what someone else's kid is wearing.

[user1497787065]

Surely except for a coat no one would
expect a toddler to wear anything more than once. Sorry it would definitely be jeans and jumper in the wash after one wear.

[Monsterjam]

You are at risk of installing in a child that their like ability is linked to what they look like at a very young age... I have no idea what I send my own kids to nursery in let alone other people’s kids

[Mumofsend]

I barely know what my kids ware wearing and certainly not what they wore yesterday. I would have no idea what anyone else's is wearing.

If they are clean then they are clean.

[Al1langdownthecleghole]

I'm with your husband. You are overthinking this.

I'm sorry about your childhood, but please don't think about what other people think about what you dress your children in. And stop judging other people's choices before your children pick up on it.

[KarlKennedysDurianFruit]

I don't understand the concept of a toddler's clothes still being clean at the end of the day, must just be my DS....

[Devilesko]

I totally agree with you, there's no need to wear them twice especially on nursery days.
We got the box as with 3 of them I thought it better for the environment and like you didn't like same clothes on twice.
Mine are all grown up now, but my ds1 has adopted the box with his dc. and on it goes.

[SnackSizeRaisin]

Op you are being a bit crazy about this. As long as the clothes are clean, no one is going to think anything of a child wearing the same outfit all week, never mind for just 2 days. As an adult I would wear the same jeans and jumper for (at least) a week. It never occurred to me that someone would think that I don't have any other clothes. Not that I would care if they did anyway.
I am just from a normal background, have never had to worry about being poor luckily.
Of course it's up to you if you want your child in different clothes each day - but stop worrying about what others think! You are the parent. If you think your child's clothes are fine, then they are.

[WeeWelshWoman]

Thank you @AGoatAteIt I think you've captured what I was trying to say this morning far better than I managed it at the time :)