Row with DH over toddler clothes...

[WeeWelshWoman]

This morning, my husband wanted to put our toddler in exactly the same jeans and jumper he wore yesterday (changed vest and t-shirt). I asked him to at least change the jumper because otherwise it looked like we were sending our child out in exactly the same clothes two days in a row.

He got huffy and said it was insane when I said sometimes other mums/ nursery staff may talk and I just wanted the jumper swapped. That he could wear it on the weekend instead if it was ok.

My husband thinks that other parents never comment on children wearing the same clothes two or three days in a row. I disagree (memories from school and being bullied about it). I pointed out that as a guy, any negative comments would never be made towards him, but to me.

He says I'm putting my experiences on our son. I agree, to a point, but I want to stop this lazy just grabbing the nearest items that sort of look clean enough habit now, before it does become an issue.

For reference, I was a free school meals kid for most of my childhood. My husband is from a much pushed background and went to boarding school. I think this may have impacted his view on this.

AIBU to not want my son to go to nursery in exactly the same clothes two or three days in a row?

I'm not adverse to reusing clean clothes. I just don't want him visibly in the same outfit.

I'm often jealous of those parent who can put their kids in the same clothes 2 days running. Just wish my DS could stay clean enough to do this. My washing is unreal, finally with our youngest being 6 we are getting a few more days where we manage more than 1 wear before the wash

We had someone at work who always commented on 'oh, she's a mucky tramp - she had that outfit on yesterday'. She was mocked behind her back by everyone and the consensus was that even if we didn't wear the same outfit on consecutive days, it wasn't washed between every 2 wearings.

if he gets in to it's ok to wear exactly the same thing two or three days in a row now - he'll keep doing that all through primary school.

Are you in the UK? If so, the likelihood is that there will be a uniform and it simply won't be an issue.

A woman I worked with wore the same outfit every day. She washed the top every night when she got home. She was gossiped about. Yes, she was clean and tidy but somehow it mattered that she wore the same clean clothes every day.

It mattered to those bitchy people at your workplace who gossiped about her. It’s an unusual thing to do (I couldn’t be bothered to wash and then dry the same top every single night), but it doesn’t actually matter.

I am with dh. Yabu

I think YABU but can see how this stems from your own childhood experience. My mum was also very conscious that we were nicely turned out because she had so little as a child.

Think you’re being ridiculous.
If it’s clean then why put it in the wash? What a waste.
Your child certainly won’t be bullied at this age .

Nobody will care. Yabu.

I doubt people would notice or care, but if they do they are silly. If they say anything, they are rude and you should tell them they are silly.

If your son wanted to wear the same jumper two days in a row and you refused, that would be putting your issues on your son.

Asking your husband to pick a different jumper and reuse the first tomorrow doesn’t cost him anything. He may think it’s silly, but all he has to do is reach on a drawer so this shouldn’t be his hill to die on.

It's pretty rare that DD (2.5) comes home from nursery with any single item of clothing clean, but where they are clean, yes she wears it the same day (jumper/bottoms). If both are clean which has probably happened about 3 times ever lol then yes she wears both again. She's only in nursery 3 days a week and if she had worn one or more items of clothing for the full three days I'd wash it after that because I do agree there is usually a nursery smell that occurs haha.

Didn't you wear uniform at primary school?
Kids still get picked up when wearing a uniform.
I've seen kids wearing a uniform that us absolutely filthy, looks tatty, white socks looking a dirty grey colour etc. A uniform isn't the leveller it is made out to be.

Omg I would be thrilled if I could get two days use out of an outfit! Massive badge of honour IMO 😂

DS usually wears the same clothes to nursery (only goes Monday and Thursday) as the same stuff tends to end up clean at about the same time. He’s scruffy as anything but clean. They do so much outdoor play and messy play that I’m not going to send him in anything nice. Plus he can only really pull his own pants down to use the potty if he’s in joggers (he’s only just 2) so they’re a staple.

Honestly see both points of view! I wouldn't send my child in the same clothes either, but only because of what people think. I would put them in the same clothes 2 days in a row if they weren't going to see the same people. So it does matter and it doesn't!

Crazy..if clean re wear.
Dont micro manage dh

Yabu

You don't want to pass on that insecurity to your son. Modern kids are put under a lot of pressure when it comes to appearance and wearing yesterday's stain free clothes is not a biggie.

Do you own 2 of the same item? How would nursery know he didn't own 2 pairs of blue jeans, 2 pairs of grey joggers etc Yesterday's nappy would be a problem but that's not what your h is suggesting.

Many parents send kids to nursery in cheap clothes with stains that can't be removed because they expect the kids to get messy and it's wasteful to keep on buying new.

We have to send DD to nursery in clean clothes every day because of Covid... apparently you’re allowed to ‘quarantine’ an outfit that’s been worn, for 3 days, then re-wear. Too much faff. I just put her in something clean every day. It’s not a huge issue, her clothes are tiny, you can throw her entire wardrobe in the washer dryer once a week and you’re good to go! Even if they didn’t have that rule though I think most of her stuff would need washed after each wear anyway due to mud/paint/food etc.

I bet you drive your Husband mad with this silly attitude about a child's clothes. He has the right idea, and you must like washing clothes a lot.

I was picked on as well for the same reason. Its not nice and I can see why you would want to protect your child from it.
I would do the same. Its something you can prevent happening so why wouldn't you

I think kids are meant to be going in fresh clothes every day because of covid.

@cretelover

I think kids are meant to be going in fresh clothes every day because of covid.

That’s not the instruction in our school or nursery.

the poshest and richest people I know are often the scruffiest

So? This suggests one should be desperate to emulate posh, rich people instead of having minds of our own and deciding wearing the same jumper every day for months probably isn’t the image we want to project.

Op, I completely agree with you. It will be you who gets judged so I dont think are unreasonable to put a different jumper on DC.

I see it from both points of view. Your husband is right that it really doesn’t matter as long as the clothes are clean. But having grown up in a house receiving FSM, often no hot water and a single mum who was at best, low level neglectful, I totally get why this stuff matters to you. People (mums mostly tbf) talked about me and my siblings a lot at the school gates. Now that I’m a mum myself It’s not about my kids looking pristine but I want to make sure they look as well cared for as they are.

Time for you to grow up. If they are clean no one will care how often he has worn them