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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

225 replies

Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 20:43

OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 03/04/2020 20:52

If they're annoying you just mute the chat on WhatsApp and hide them on FB. They can post what they like and it might make them feel better about this shit situation.

NicEv · 03/04/2020 20:57

I do know what you mean. But this situation is very hard for everyone in different ways and people are just doing their best to get through it. Some people may get ideas and inspiration from those posts and for others it’s nice to see some positivity at the moment. You are stretched and that must be really tough - but that doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone else. It’s not. No one is having fun because of this situation - many people are facing terrible financial worries and risk losing their livelihoods and homes. Try to meet others with empathy and compassion if you can - we all need that at the moment

Designjunkie · 03/04/2020 20:58

This is just life though. Some will always have it easier than others and are better at coping in a crisis. Stop comparing, we’re all different. You just do you. Believe me no one is judging you.

Original poster
Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 21:00

Yes, and I think others need to be empathetic and compassionate too, towards keyworker families, for instance. They can do all of these activities, but some of the boasting is excessive. I disagree that I should isolate myself further by coming off these WhatsApp threads altogether, when I do need some of the information put on there.

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 03/04/2020 21:01

I appreciate the posts for ideas but only because I have the time. If I was as busy as you I would probably feel the same way and feel guilt tripped.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 03/04/2020 21:02

Some people seem to have full on, themed craft and activity filled days everyday... I wonder how they are going to sustain it. I'm rationing out activities and craft kits to last as long as possible...

dentydown · 03/04/2020 21:05

I’ve seen a mum who posted a load of lovely photos of home schooling, crafts and everything looked like a dream.
Her daughter faced times my son. Pandemonium, child screaming, mum saying “what have you done, why have you painted the wall?”, “are you on your iPad? Why are you hiding behind the curtain?” Then it hung up.
Perhaps a lot of the photos are staged! Perhaps they are too good to be true.

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 03/04/2020 21:07

Why do you let it bother you?
I'll never understand this mentality.
Just mute the group if people annoy you that much.
I'm in a FB lockdown group where people share what they've been up to, I love seeing all the crafts/ideas of things to do.
Not very crafty myself, mind you, but still love seeing what everyone else does.
Stop comparing to yourself to others and you might find yourself a lickle bit happier in yourself.

Noodledoodledoo · 03/04/2020 21:07

I know one of the mums on one of my groups is feeling like you, so everytime perfect SAHM mummy posts something 'wonderful, creative and so inspiring' I try to point out that not all of us can do so as we are also trying to work.

I'm a teacher so hopefully it makes people feel its ok to do little with them!

I have stuff up my sleeve but also have to 'teach' my secondary school students alongside my little ones!

NorthEndGal · 03/04/2020 21:10

I messaged my brother with ideas for crafts for the kids. He is home with them, while his wife (RN) works 16 hour shifts.
He was excited for his they turned out, so he posted a bunch of pics. It's not like I could have come over to see them!
It brightens up fb, better than a million doomsday posts

user1487194234 · 03/04/2020 21:10

Have muted all such friends
And my DC are late teens 😄

FlyingPandas · 03/04/2020 21:13

Don’t let it bother you op. Most important mantra of parenthood: always assume social media posts are lying. Always assume those who brag loudest are suffering the most.

Much of social media is just an excuse to boast and talk bollocks and often bears no reality to real life. All those perfect crafty smiling mummies are probably swearing through gritted teeth and screaming at their DC five minutes after posting the pics. And then crying into a bottle of wine.

I stopped using Facebook three years ago and my life improved immeasurably. ‘Tis all complete twaddle!

Original poster
Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 21:14

I honestly don't usually compare myself to others, but this is an unusual situation. It is particularly bad for us. My DH and I are arguing all the time because we can't juggle things, and we don't generally argue. If your DH is working all the time and your trying to keep your own job going, and look after the children it's a nightmare.

OP posts:
LoisLittsLover · 03/04/2020 21:15

Today I shared a list of activities we have done over the last 2 weeks as I have benefitted from other people sharing their ideas. I hope that by bunching them together anyone who does feel a bit put out by them can scroll past more quickly than a daily update

StarUtopia · 03/04/2020 21:15

Just ignore. I've got a WhatsApp group that is bragging about buying new hot tubs, fancy kids toys etc etc whilst they KNOW that we have lost nearly 100% of our family income.

They're dicks.

TheCanyon · 03/04/2020 21:18

My seamstress (tbf she takes my jeans up an inch etc) left my kids craft bags yesterday, been plodding along ok having fun, 2 weeks today and she causes a fucking riot. Patchwork pieces, enough for one etc.

I bought my dts5 the hobby craft craft boxes for xmas, thought dh would not be happy but fuck it, good for ds o.t too right? Fuck me, the glitter!!!

stickman12 · 03/04/2020 21:20

Oh god I'm one of these mums! Am I that annoying?

I don't do it to show off, I do it to share ideas and I enjoying seeing others ideas. I'll think twice now!

PainauChocolat12 · 03/04/2020 21:21

I let my kids do craft at the expense of their schoolwork. Stop comparing yourself, and if your kids would rather craft than work, let them! Plus you’ve got all weekend to craft if you want.

rogueantimatter · 03/04/2020 21:22

Some people just aren't sensitive to other people's circumstances unfortunately. I bet you wouldn't be irritated by their posts if they expressed gratitude for their fortunate circumstances. In 10 years there'll be programmes where people compare and contrast their experiences of the lockdown. Some people will have had an awful time of financial hardship, worry and illness. Others will tell how the free time enabled them to get fit, write a play, build a fantastic summer house.......

Best wishes to you and your family OP.

Original poster
Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 21:23

Well said StarUtopia.

When are people going to realise that bragging makes people dislike you? Who's going to like you more because you are getting hot tub? It's not enough to just enjoy the hot tub that makes you feel so good. No, you have to tell people about it, because it's not really about the hot tub at all, it's really about looking good to others (which really only makes people think you're a dick).

OP posts:
Samtsirch · 03/04/2020 21:23

I have also noticed that a lot of these inspirational posts are very “ middle class “ and can cause feelings of inadequacy in parents who don’t have money to spend on art and craft materials or don’t have access to easels/ gardens/ playrooms etc but are struggling to keep their heads above water simply feeding their children.
I suppose you have to use the bits that help you but not feel pressured by the bits which are beyond your reach.
Everyone is doing the best they can, and that’s all they can do.

Original poster
Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 21:24

rogueantimatter - yes you're right.

OP posts:
reasonswhyimdifferent · 03/04/2020 21:25

@Transformer123 couldn’t agree more with your last post there! It’s like when people get a new car and HAVE to post a pic on fb straight away. It makes it so obvious it’s more about what other people think of them.

Lockdown has definitely given ‘those types’ something else to show off about. It’s boring.

JeanJackeys · 03/04/2020 21:26

It's all fake. I have an insta famous friend. Except I see the real pictures behind their blissful child centered learning. It's all bullshit.

Mute them. And mark them down in your brain as twats.

Original poster
Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 21:26

Panauchoclat - unfortunately I work weekends, and my DH has just been told he now has to.

OP posts:
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