annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

[Transformer123]

OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

And I’m so relieved to see others feel as I do! Photos of the child and the amazingly creative artwork shown in various splendid settings. Then the next day trying to rally other parents to complain to the local authority because the school are not providing on line lessons. Apparently lots of parents are outraged to have to look after their own children. But what about the Van Gough with the toilet rolls you did yesterday?

I have left my DC to it most days they do a bit of schoolwork and we play cards, sometimes, or a play a game and then walk the dog. I leave them to create mess concocting their own recipes in the kitchen when I am in a good mood.

The boredom must have set in because this afternoon they spent 3 or 4 hrs tidying a large section of the garden(without being asked), they swept and cleared away blossom putting them into bags and then broke up lots of fallen branches into small neat piles! Every time the wind knocked off some more blossom off the tree they went back to rake it up and bag it.

Enforced craft days are sickly sweet anyway imo.

I was annoyed but these sorts of posts before lock down.

I’ve always been irritated by them. But you just need to ignore and do your own best.

We’ve never had the space to do craft and painting etc. We live in a small carpeted flat. Even the kitchen is not robust enough to have dc in there baking or ‘helping’. And we can’t afford losing the deposit when we leave.

I’ve always told the dc school and after school clubs was for that messy play.

So not having those outlets now is a challenge. Basically the only non school work activities they have are lego, tv, movies and drawing.

No iPads or computers though, I am so glad we never bought them as I think they could prove a problem now.

@Transformer123 where does it end though?

As a single low/medium income family we rarely go on holidays and usually it's a night or two away in a hotel or a camping trip, is it unfair that people who have high incomes post photos or stories about their amazing overseas trips?

Of course not, we all make choices that affect our lives, you have yours, they have theirs.

You are letting yourself feel judged but the reality probably is they are just enjoying these things with their kids and wanting to share the enjoyment with others.

Why be bothered with all this Mum's on facebook and other crap stuff. You just do as you wan't to, and block these addicted to phones types, those who have to tell the whole world what they are up to non stop.

Everybody is just trying to get through this time. Don’t know that they’re bragging so much as bored/lonely, looking to provide inspiration and looking to get some themselves. Nobody’s ordering you to do more but posting this stuff will probably help others who are desperately trying to fill their and their kids days.

Just ignore them OP. They have their own issues.

The worst offender in my son’s class has just seen her business fold. Her anxiety about the health aspect is off the scale. The home schooling is a displacement exercise.

I find majority of the crap people post - like 'fun' days out (no it wasn't fun, you told me in tears your little angel had a huge tantrum and that you and your DH are no longer on talking terms), and couples staring lovingly into each others eyes etc. Majority of posts seem fake and intended to leave an impression of how perfect their lives are.

Y'all need new friends...

I hope and think that most people are honestly just sharing their ideas and things they've done with their kids as a result of looking on Pinterest and trying to keep busy!

They are celebrating their achievement for the day. What's wrong with that?

EDITED HIGHLIGHTS X

Nellodee
I take absolute pride in my bar-lowering efforts by sending in an unpainted shoe box with a pebble and a piece of fake fur in it.

I spat out my tea reading this. My DS once put together an effort like this. It involved some fake greenery and a plastic frog in a Converse box, representing "A Tropical Habitat". What was yours?

@mathanxiety @nellodee I have found my people when DS was 6 he outsourced his school craft project to his 2 year old sister and took it on proudly to lie alongsidr all the professional level creations

I think lockdown will hasten the death of Facebook but video conferencing apps like Zoom and House Party will win out.

My reasoning is because of the increasing amount of staged crap on FB and Insta where some people spend ridiculous amount of time trying to curate the perfect image. People are on it now because they are filling time scrolling through internet but I’ll guarantee people are rolling their eyes at the increasingly desperate attempts some will go to to show how perfect their lives are.

However, live chats don’t give you as much of an opportunity to stage stuff (as people can only see your face and a bit of background) and people will get bored very quickly if you’re spending every chat droning on about your day of crafting.

Once we’re all out in the real world again people will want to talk to real people whether on the street or if further away on live chats, not follow pictures and edited videos from attention seeking people including normal people and celebrities.

I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?
I disagree with you. While I do have sympathy for you, why should I not post about what I feel proud of my DC and I are getting done.
You are the one with the issue, so the best would be to mute or remove yourself.

I quit our school WhatsApp group for this reason

You are in control of this. Don't look at the groups. Leave them, mute them, hide them. Don't ever forget you get to manage your own social media. You aren't powerless in this.

Other people gonna do what they do. You don't get to control them. Focus on what you can control.

You are projecting your own feelings on to this group. I got lots of ideas from our group. you don't need to make this personal or be competitive. do what you can and leave others to do the same.

Whatever happened to #bekind?

These people are celebrating something they've done well by showing it off to others. What is wrong with that?

Why does people's jealousy at not being able to do crafts with their kids have to trump other people's need/ want to share their achievements? Why do we constantly have to have this race to the bottom, where no one is allowed any joy, just because others cannot have the same thing?

Let's celebrate what others do well rather than constantly try to tear each other down. It's not that difficult.

I always wondered how things on FB could be fake - after all, if you post a picture of your dinner party with your lovely friends, that must be true, mustn't it? The photo isn't fake and I know that those people exist.

And then I realised it was the sentiments that were fake - like the person who posted about the lovely day out (but hated it because the toddler had a tantrum the whole time) - so the friends aren't really so lovely or the food wasn't good or someone caused a scene...

As for the mums showing off about the crafts they're doing with their kids, I'm glad if my son gets dressed :) And I am being nagged by one his teachers because he hasn't submitted homework. His other teachers are doing video lessons, she is just setting work and asking for it to be handed in a week later. I am not sure if there is a link -having the video lessons keeps the students more engaged, and more connected with each other.

It's all staged. I have a business page for a kids activity and regularly post ideas for crafts, activities and games. It often takes 50 tries to get a good photo and sometimes we don't actually do the activity, just take a picture of it.

If I posted the actual chaos of my dog hair filled home, my kids in their food-stained pyjamas and my constant glass of wine on the go I'd probably be reported to social services!

I am in a similar position, so I completely sympathise but YABU. If it helps them cope by showing off then let l them knock themselves out. You're doing an amazing job off keeping your shit together under the circumstances and posting photos of crafts online isn't going to magically make you a super mum. As you say, the picture perfect posts hide all sorts of shit. Don't let yourself be defined by what other people are posting - I know it's easier said than done, but that way madness lies. Be kind to yourself and maybe mute the groups for a few days while you reset.

OP people only share what they want you to see. They're not going to mention that their kid watched TV for 3 hours! I'm finding it quite difficult to come up with stuff and I've been furloughed so have nothing else to do, so I can only imagine how hard it is for those still working as well. Just mute/snooze those people annoying you and do your best.

If you are finding time to do craft activities and work, then you are not really working that much.

🤨 The irony of your judgment on others says a lot.

There are very simple ways you can avoid these things but it appears you want to people to self censor because you choose not to.

I’m not on Social Media but the last thing I think when I see someone being creative is that it’s a commentary on what I have or haven’t done.

Why does people's jealousy at not being able to do crafts with their kids have to trump other people's need/ want to share their achievements?

it’s not fair to call it jealousy.

Lots of couples are both holding down jobs right now and in many instances they’re busier than they were before. That is, like it or not, more important, than curating the perfect homeschool experience. However it’s natural for them to feel frustrated or anxious that their child might fall behind.

We’re all in very difficult positions right now. I defend to the death anyone’s right to post whatever the hell they want on SM, but equally I those who have bigger commitments right now should be encouraged to give the WA groups a swerve for the time being.