annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

[Transformer123]

OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

I think it's lovely. I'm not very creative and it's given me heaps of ideas!!
I've posted updates of my toddler every day or so, so I can keep a photo album to show him when he's older of what it was like. We also share them on the nursery page.
I'm an essential Keyworker and work in Children's Safeguarding, I'm still working, DH is still working (Keyworker) and we have to also care for our toddler at the same time. After tea we might do something fun and post a few pics. It's not my job (when not at work) to manage other people's negative feelings, I see lots of people doing so much more than me but they haven't chose to be in this situation so they'd be really foolish not to just make the best of it.
Instead of spending all your time watching all these photos and videos and getting angry about it, spend that time doing something that makes you happy instead.

That craft activity may have been the only creative thing they ve done all week. Maybe the rest of time they’ve been in screens. Who knows.
Stop putting so much emphasis to it.
Just focus on your own family.

Mute them and get rid of dicks on bragbook sm.

@stickman12
I don’t think you should stop if you enjoy it and your intentions are good.
But it is maybe useful to see the other side of the coin 🙂

As you ask them to consider others, perhaps you should consider them. Many people are feeling scared and alone. Sharing their lives helps them feel connected. Crafts may be their lives right now.

I also personally use crafts as a way to channel my anxiety. They make me feel better and the distraction of the occasional project is helping my child deal with being ignored all day every day while her father and I are working.

I’m not a “Pinterest mom” to make others feel bad about themselves. I am an obsessive, anxiety prone woman who engages in over the top projects either solo or with my child because it feeds my soul. I’ve been doing this long before the days of social media. Yes, I post some cute pictures on Facebook for family and friends to see. I love seeing their pictures and lives right now and feel like I should reciprocate.

Can I just say our headteachers weekly letter is awesome

""Families must not put themselves under undue stress to complete work. Please don't worry if you can't, just take this chance to spend as much time with your child having fun- that's what is important"

There are huge differences between hot tubs and new cars and people posting about craft ideas. It is a difficult time and people are trying to help each other, if you don't like it, step away.

I say this as a mother of 3 who is trying to wfh with a key worker husband.

Totally was thinking the same this evening. similar to you my husband working & im trying to work from home/look after little ones. Seeing posts of wat everyone’s been baking or made today made me feel really bit shit & worse Iv been added to these groups for daily ideas. Just seems people boasting about their parenting, I’m switching my social media off. All the best to you & Goodluck to your husband, sounds tough c

No seen any of that sort of thing on mine, most of the parents i know are still too busy working. However, our school did an easter competition and some of the entries looked like pieces of artwork which had obviously been completed by the parents, so much so we didn't bother to enter.

The things is, you don’t HAVE to look at this stuff.

Mute it, leave the group, ignore it. Whatever you need to do. You have complete control over whether you see it or not.

(I say that as someone who is also working from home with two kids here and is posting no crafty photos anywhere!)

dontlikebeards - I'm not saying there is a connection between those things. I was responding to a post someone put about hot tub boasting.

People who are saying that both them and their husbands are working AND looking after the kids, are not being honest. You can't do both (if the kids are young like mine and not independent). If you are finding time to do craft activities and work, then you are not really working that much.

Thank you Lemonpick88 x

Yep drives me nuts.

Beckyboom, unfortunately I do have to look at the Whatapp group for my son. I'm on the nursery committee. It's a charity and we actually manage the nursery (I do this in addition to my job). So I'm responsible for posting nursery updates for parents on there.

Some people just can't let their kids...be. They feel they have t be doing things with them. As a kid, I don remember mum or gparents actively doing things with us- we just hung around them and joined in a bit with what they did. Unless we were told to go away cos they were busy.

@Transformer123 yes

Absolutely agree with you. I think these mums - the "look at my beautiful crafts!" ones - are being competitive and that they should really think about what they're doing and dial it down a bit. Very lacking in empathy and self-awareness and grace.
If it makes you feel any better, I actually think its good for children to be left to entertain themselves. Boredom isn't something to be afraid of.
And when I suggest crafts to my younger ones they run and hide, shouting "Muuum! No one wants to do crafts, we all hate it!". Thank god for that.

I’m a teacher and not homeschooling my lot 6 hours a day. I get up before them do a bit of work, the.n they do a hour before and after lunch but it might be model making. Rest of the time they might be playing, on iPads, watching movies etc.

I think most parents are just trying to do the best they can. You’ll always get the competitive parent types but a few pictures doesn’t tell the whole story. Don’t let it get to you OP.

Posts like you are describing remind me why I don't have FB, Whatsapp, instagram et al.

DS is 15 and has severe learning difficulties and cannot do many of the things that mainstream kids can do.

I learnt very early on to stop comparing his and our life to other's, it just makes you feel even more shit.

Concentrate on what you and yours can and do.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

They are not making anyone feel bad

If other people compare themselves to them (and buy into it, despite the fakeness of it ) and feel lacking... that is their issue

Fwiw, I think everyone lies on Social media, esp FB

The people who share most pics of crafting with their kids probably only do so because they themselves normally never do it, and also what you cannot see in the images is that mum had to tidy up the mess alone and the kids went straight back onto their I pads

Seriously, don’t feel bad and why not allow them to feel good about themselves. They are just trying to make it through the day in their own way

As many have said, people are doing what they can to get through, some to share ideas and yes some will stealth boast.

You will be stressed and vulnerable so more likely to feel inadequate.

Just look to your own kids, what they need and realistically what you are able to do with them. No-one else matters.

I am a single parent homeworking in a keyworker role with bored kids. It's proving to be an experience! I'm accepting that most times I'm going to be a getting a Grade C in parenting and a Grade C in my job!! 😁 . My kids haven't done any craft at all and they're fine.

I've seen similar on my feeds and hid a few people for now.
Give yourself a break and just do what you think is best for your kids. It's hard enough isn't it?

YANBU OP. It's not that people post ideas, it's the whole look at what a fabulous parent I am undertone with them. It's not a case of 'when your milk bottle is empty you can cut in half and decorate to make an elephant', it's look what I did, it's just so fabulous you'll want to copy me!

Don't get me started on the perfect bakes either.

FWIW, I am a SAHM so I am very fortunate that I'm not being pulled in different directions. I have done crafts and baked with my children over the past couple of weeks along with their schoolwork. I have done so without posting a single picture to social media. What I do with my children is of no consequence to anyone else and I have no reason to suppose that anyone else would be interested!

I’d post a message saying lovely idea but unfortunately just now as are just keeping our heads above water so are not able to take part. Stay safe all

I'd rather see these than the endless conspiracy theories and fake news nonsense currently occupying my entire newsfeed but I do agree with what PPs say about how its all bollocks and those showing off the most are those struggling the most!