annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

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OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

No one can "make" you feel anything. You're putting these expectations on yourself. Ignore them.

Anyone who has time to post endless pics on SM has way too much time on their hands. I find it all rather dull.

In years to come, you can be proud that your contribution was to carry on working and keep everything going. What are they going to say? Telling your grandkids you helped the cause by making sock puppets and rockets out of rubbish is far less impressive.

Myself and DH are both key workers NHS. I do crafty shiz with my kids and sometimes post it on my own social media. Why on earth would that be issue!?
If you dont like it, scroll on by, unfollow/unfriend or put your phone down!

I agree. People can be pretty insensitive about what they post, without any regard to the struggles some people are going through

I’d say they’re probably bored and in major need of connection. They’re probably not deliberately showing off, they maybe just want to talk and share with someone?

Whenever I’m bored, I definitely spend too much time on my phone.

Both me and DH are key workers doing stupid hours, exhausted.
Some posts will be stressed mums filling time- but some are the twattish "isn't my child smazing" types who have just gotten worse since the lockdown.

Just mute the feed - it's ok. I've accepted my limitations and just remember, schools will teach to the median level of the class so our kids will be just fine. I'm working and they can have cuddles at any time. Now, that's special.

I hate threads like this. Whenever someone is pleased with something they've done it is labelled bragging and showing off and people are rude about them.

Everyone is having a shit time one way or another.

(And no, I've not posted what my kids have done. Except DS1 who drank his entire supply of beer on the night lockdown was announced. They are all teen/adults and barely leave their rooms)

OP I hear ya!!!! It’s like a mum of year award on Facebook. I’m on mat leave and so not working thankfully but Christ it’s ridiculous how self congratulating some of these mummy mafia members are. Yawn.

Your kids are safe, you love them, you are attempting some home schooling? Then your grand.

I don't think many people are bragging. Most of the population are simply not used to spending most of their time at home with their children. They are finding ways to prevent themselves going stir crazy and sharing in the hope that it will help others. I think you are projecting your own issues and not really being fair. In a less stressful time you would probably either appreciate the ideas, or scroll past and ignore.

I'm a sahm, heavily pregnant and have a young child is is upset with the change of routine and not seeing their friends. So what if I do a couple of hours craft in the afternoon to break up our day, it's helping us both. I have posted it to Facebook once but lots of pics of all our crafts.

Mute or delete them if you don't like what they post

One of my colleagues posts endlessly about what her perfect family are up to, certificates from primary etc. that fecking elf ... it's definitely ramped up since lockdown and yet she's supposed to be working from home the same as me, I don't think she can be getting much done.

OP, you are doing a great job holding everything together. Not everybody can sit around doing crafts for days on end. The people that cant do this aren't posting on social media, so you aren't seeing that side of it. The updates are one sided and there are plenty others trying to hold it together. Keep doing the best you can. Get a good night's sleep and maybe relax for an hour with a good book. I find it's a bit overwhelming trying to manage work etc. ( luckily I can wfh but its crazy at the moment ) and I find myself getting a bit emotional. Usually a good nights sleep gives me a boost and practicing gratitude for the good things in my life. Stay strong! You will get through this. I am trying to think of 2020 as a write off and start over in 2021.

If someone annoys me on FB now, I hide them
from my newsfeed or just scroll past. The most I do is roll my eyes and moan to my DH, who will say exactly what he thinks. But then I move on. After all, it's annoying but it isn't personal.

I get it, but for different reasons.

My twins are autistic - one only wants to watch film credits and play on an iPad (educational games at least!), maybe line up some blocks in colour or size order. The other plays with toys maybe 30-60 seconds per hour. Seeing videos of all my friends kids painting and playing with play doh and reciting their alphabets when mine can’t talk at all is really really hard some days. But then I’m used to feeling like this because I feel this way all the time.

There are no doubt parents out there who are jealous that you are able to get your children to engage with learning at all because theirs can’t.

And I know there are parents who are envious of me because my kids aren’t aggressive towards me and aren’t destructive.

It’s all relative. Yes, it would be lovely to have lovely craft filled days and engaged happy children but that’s not reality for a huge number of people for a wide variety of reasons. Speaking from experience here, you have to let it go. Block them if you can’t bear it and focus on what you can do.

OP and those who are agreeing... Its not about you. Why on earth would anyone think anything somebody posts is to make others feel bad or feel anything at all about themselves? It's bizarre and only highlights a lack of self awareness and inability to acknowledge what the person being 'made' to feel by someone posting about their own life they feel is lacking in themselves, manifesting in a projection onto others

Stop. You'll be a lot happier

Bumble, just don't look if it annoys you. I 'get' people doing crafts with their children, most of us did that and other things but putting them on social media would be a 'no no' for me. I like my privacy and always respected the right of children to have privacy too.

However we don't all feel the same, some like baring all to the world and his wife.

You don't have to engage with this exhibitionism. You're doing great without all that.

Tell you what, the people/groups I am annoyed about on FB/social media (don't worry, I've put them on unfollow so I don't see their updates but don't have to unfriend and cause drama if they're usuallly nice people) are the ones constantly doom mongering, moaning, curtain twitching, sharing negative news stories from tabloids and taking a negative spin on everything.
I'd far rather see positive stuff, like what people have been baking or making.

Agree, it's v attention seeking and extremely short-sighted given the shit other people may/may not be dealing with at the moment. It’s as if they’re living in a parallel world where CV is not actually happening. Occasional posts about Childrens birthdays, etc are nice but daily updates regarding craft activities are a bit odd tbh

I think when we ourselves feel guilty about not doing certain stuff we are more affected by these kinds of posts.
I'm in Ireland.
I have a general constant level of anxiety that I push through every day.
Both me and my husband have been laid off our jobs for the Corona crisis.

I have been getting guilty and worried about the amounts of crafts and what not that others are doing, when I'm just trying to survive the day without a panic attack.

However, because I've been working on my anxiety for many many years, I've reminded myself that any negative feeling I have towards this is just to do with my own mind set and feelings of guilt.

You, are working, your husbands working, it's impossible for you to do the same as people at home not working right now.
That doesn't mean they can't share though.
You need to be sure in your own mind that actually it's ok that you're not doing the same.

I, in your eyes, maybe have no excuse to complain as you assume I'm off work and having fun. I'm not. I'm struggling every day. And my mental health may suffer severely for this.

So just realise you are in your situation, doing the best you can, I'm in my situation, doing the best I can, and the posters are in their situations, doing the best they can.

It's tough on you, I don't know how people are managing to work full time and have the kids

To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, the only person who can make you feel bad about yourself is yourself.

Shrug it all off. Be proud of your DH. Do your best. It's all anyone can ask of you.

@Pollypocket89
Its not about you. Why on earth would anyone think anything somebody posts is to make others feel bad or feel anything at all about themselves?
This. I post for ME.
To look back on things I have done, seen or enjoyed. Or maybe share articles/posts others have done that I think others may like.
It's not a bloody competition. I'd never want to make anyone feel bad.
Anyone feeling bad over nice things and positivity is their issue they need to work on.

Many people use Facebook to communicate with family and friends and it is nice to see what they are doing.
Done people use it as an online diary.
I think you are reading things into it which aren't really there OP.

Maybe they just lonely and trying to reach out? I probably do this too but not because I’m showing off but because I’m really bored / and very lonely and want just some communication. Don’t take it personally it’s not aimed at making you feel bad!

Occasional posts about Childrens birthdays, etc are nice but daily updates regarding craft activities are a bit odd tbh

• Social interaction, eg online conversations with friends usually result
• People sharing their day
• Don't usually get out and see people otherwise and nice to keep in touch/ "talk" (even more so nowadays)

Why is it odd?
People use social media for different reasons.
If you want to barely use it, or just use it to occasionally say happy birthday or whatever that's up to you.