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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

225 replies

Transformer123 · 03/04/2020 20:43

OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 04/04/2020 08:55

I haven’t done it yet, but I’m so tempted to post a pic of my kids watching paw patrol in response to the latest update from the craft queens Grin

sharonmarron · 04/04/2020 08:58

People are dying, worried about vulnerable loved ones etc. Be grateful that all you have to worry about is not doing enough craft with your kids for a temporary period of lockdown.

CuckooCuckooClock · 04/04/2020 09:11

I think we’re still allowed a whinge though sharon everyone has more to worry about than this one thing but most of us are capable of worrying about many things all at once.
I’ve been named and shamed on my dc class WhatsApp as having not submitted any work!

Justincasecakehappens · 04/04/2020 09:33

I don't think that's quite the same thing. Riding is a healthy, outdoorsy thing and most people like to see others riding, adults or children.

If people can get into a jealous rant because some mother is doing crafts with her kids to kill time, they will explode at the idea of another family with land, animals and time and ways to spend most of the day outdoor!

Some of the families in my kids schools are obviously relatively wealthy, good for them. I hope they don't go to the same school as the OP, they wouldn't never get over it Grin

Alkaloise · 04/04/2020 09:35

Lots of couples are both holding down jobs right now and in many instances they’re busier than they were before. That is, like it or not, more important, than curating the perfect homeschool experience. However it’s natural for them to feel frustrated or anxious that their child might fall behind.

My husband and I are both key workers. We have 2 kids, one of whom is still a toddler. We are also (mostly) working from home, so have to rely a lot on the children playing by themselves.

I still wouldn't dream of trying to make others feel bad about proudly posting what they have done with their children for the day, or trying to stop them from doing so. It's not a race to the bottom.

Justincasecakehappens · 04/04/2020 09:35

I’ve been named and shamed on my dc class WhatsApp as having not submitted any work!

is that the only way for the teacher to communicate with you? Fair enough they are concerned if some kids are completely absent.

bellinisurge · 04/04/2020 09:37

Ignore all this bollocks. Some people are doing brilliantly just to get through 24 hrs at a time. The posting pretty crafts thing should die down soon or just be kept within family/interested circles.

LaurieMarlow · 04/04/2020 09:40

I still wouldn't dream of trying to make others feel bad about proudly posting what they have done with their children for the day, or trying to stop them from doing so

And where did I say that I was doing that or it’s okay to do so?

I said it was natural for stressed, working parents to be frustrated or anxious that their child was falling behind.

Ellisandra · 04/04/2020 09:54

I’m on a couple of local mum groups, and all people ever post about is craft ideas! Lots of “lovely idea!” and “we’ll try that”. Then there was the earthquake in Idaho and I posted about linking that to the Volcanoes & Earthquakes topic my Y4 did last term (most in the group are same school). Stony silence Grin

We all “home occupy” (it isn’t always schooling!) differently. I don’t care though - I genuinely do not give a fuck what others are doing! So they can post their crafts to their heart’s content!

MotherOfAllNameChanges · 04/04/2020 10:03

It's a stressful situation op. But not the crafting mums faults.
Personally I'm more annoyed at our lying, uncaring government and the idiots that voted for them 🤷🏻‍♀️

GabriellaMontez · 04/04/2020 10:09

You know that social media posts arent representative of their real lives?

Doesnt mean they arent losing sleep over lost jobs, collapsed businesses and fighting over how they'll pay the bills in June...

They just havent shared that on WhatsApp.

Bluntness100 · 04/04/2020 10:14

I think you’re just lashing out because you’re so unhappy at the moment.

I think it’s fine for folks to share and show off their kids work, yes of course there are people worse off, people better off, that’s the way life works, I don’t think people should be forced not to share in case someone gets jealous or angry.

You need to learn to deal with your emotions about your current situation, and it’s limitations, not decide everyone should not say what their kids are doing.

Chiyo666 · 04/04/2020 10:18

I’m not on social media, but why does everyone else have to be miserable just because you are? If they’ve got time to do crafts then so what? Good for them!

mumtumdocare · 04/04/2020 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Puckishly · 04/04/2020 11:18

Personally, I'd prefer pictures of craft activities than the badly-spelled, low-grade memes and unfunny videos drivelling on about how hard homeschooling is, and 'You think it's hard now? In twenty years we will be ruled by a generation of adults homeschooled by day drinkers.'

Witchend · 04/04/2020 12:07

I have a good friend who used to put that sort of thing on FB. Along the lines of:

"Crafty day with my girls today. Lovely morning doing all the craft sets they got for Christmas. Thank you so much everyone, they couldn't wait to get started. They were singing all the time, they enjoyed it so much.
"They are so good at craft... better than poor old mummy. Going for a walk to see if we can see any spring flowers yet, and then we'll draw them in the notebook so we can remember which ones we've seen this year. #feelingblessed #happymommy #makingmemories" with lots of photos of beautifully done crafts.

Then I'd speak to her and she'd say:
"I had a dreadful day on Thursday. I thought we'd do some of the Christmas craft presents. DD1 wouldn't come off the TV until I switched it off so sulked, and dd2 threw her breakfast bowl at the wall when I told her to put it in the dishwasher. When I was clearing that up they got open all the craft items and poured them all on the floor. We had 10000 Hama beads, 2 Lego sets and a mosaic set with 1000 pieces all over the floor. They refused to pick it up, so I spent most of the morning sorting it out while they watched TV. When we got started dd2 painted the cat, and the cat ran from room to room shedding green paint on everything. When I'd caught the cat, washed it and put it outside, I came back to find they'd dropped the blue paint on the floor and were paddling in it singing "I do like to be beside the seaside".
"They then started on one with glue, and dd2 used too much so not only did it go through the paper, but it went through the tablecloth as well, and I still can't unglue it from the table. DD1 then poured glue mixed with Hama beads down the sink, so we're going to have to get a plumber in.
"Afterwards I found they'd handpainted the toilet walls when I'd sent them to wash their hands."
"I sent them to their room and finished the craft stuff myself. Then we took the dog for a walk, and it ate something (maybe it was the blue paint) and when it came back it was sick everywhere.
"Don't you dare ever buy a craft item for the girls again."

Grin

The odd thing is that she really isn't #blessedmummy-like in rl. If anything she tends to be rather derisive about it. But I always think of this when I see those beautifully crafted photos.

Macncheeseballs · 04/04/2020 12:48

I do alot of this stuff at home with my kids, always have, virus or no virus - but at no point have I felt the need to share their 'creations' with anyone

Lynda07 · 04/04/2020 12:56

Puckishly Sat 04-Apr-20 11:18:26
Personally, I'd prefer pictures of craft activities than the badly-spelled, low-grade memes and unfunny videos drivelling on about how hard homeschooling is, and 'You think it's hard now? In twenty years we will be ruled by a generation of adults homeschooled by day drinkers.'
.....
I don't like any of that, it's so unnecessary and rather exhibitionist.
Give me some beautiful pictures of scenery, waterfalls, animals - a virtual reality - any day.

Speaking of day drinking......see you later Wink.

Aria999 · 04/04/2020 13:31

@Witchend lol if this was me I would totally post the real version, much more entertaining!

CtrlU · 04/04/2020 13:38

Just because you can’t join in - why the need to hate ?

Either unfollow / block or delete the posts. Simple as that.

While you see it as showing off - some of us are trying to make the most of quality time. I’m a single parent and normally work 50hrs+ a week before this pandemic. Now I’m home spending quality time with my children doing arts and crafts. I’m probably one of those mums who’s arts and crafts you’ve seen. Why does it have to be fake ? Why shouldn’t people post because you don’t like it ?

You need to get a grip and get over yourself.

Justincasecakehappens · 04/04/2020 13:45

You haters should all be so grateful for FB and the likes. It gives you something to bitch and moan about.

Being in isolation, how else would you be able to otherwise?

Meanwhile, normal people get on with their lives as well as they can, and try to keep their kids happy and make the most of the situation.

Lynda07 · 04/04/2020 13:47

CtrlU, I don't think the op is actually 'hating', it just irritates her. Of course she doesn't have to look and I'm sure by now she isn't. If nobody looked and commented perhaps it would all stop.

What you do at home with your family is fine but it's private.

Justincasecakehappens · 04/04/2020 13:52

What you do at home with your family is fine but it's private.

why should it be? My kids love seeing what their friends have been up to, and that they are well. It's very possible to see other families without feeling irritated, jealous or negative.

Even more so with FB, where people can post whatever they want on their wall. Ignore and move on if it gives you bad feelings.

If you don't want to be part of the school whatsap/FB etc don't be. You can't tell others what they should or shouldn't put on there. (within very obvious reason....)

Pollypocket89 · 04/04/2020 13:54

'but it's private'

Then don't look? It really is that simple. People post for themselves. The people looking at my social media care about me in some form... If anyone's social media or anyone's anything makes you feel negatively them don't participate

Pollypocket89 · 04/04/2020 13:54

*then not them

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