annoyed about Mums showing off about kids crafts in lockdown?

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OK, so I'm getting quite irritated by the amount of Mums on my School and Pre-school Whatsapp groups, and Facebook, going on and on about what marvelous crafts and activities they are getting up to with their kids at home - long posts, videos and pics.

My husband is a key worker and I'm trying to do my job as well whilst looking after the children. It's very stressful and I'm only really able to squeeze the school work in. He worked late this evening and has been told he's now got to work the weekend (9 full days in a row) and be on call next week, when he was supposed to be taking annual leave. Both nurseries, including my sons' have closed due to Coronavirus, so I can't use them.

Some families have both parents who are key workers (I have a friend whose a Doctor in a hospital and so is her husband). I think the Mums who are overly sharing, should perhaps consider that some families are really struggling, with both parents working and looking after kids?? And they are just making them feel bad?

Worse, they are coming up with ideas for us Mums to do - like posting a video of our children saying hello and showing their crafts. I do not have time for this and our lives have gone crazy. It feels like I am in the minority and most people are at home, not working and having fun?? Anyone else in a similar situation?

Fair play to them, I can't craft to save my life so enjoy seeing how creative others are. Everybody has to get through their day. If crafting and posting pics of your efforts does it for you then off you go ditto, baking, cleaning, decorating, all worthwhile activities to be doing. I'm wfh fulltime with 2 primary kids and dh is still working as normal so kids have to amuse themselves most of the time. They brought in a hedgehog today and dd was feeding him cat food in her room when I came out for a break. So many people seemed to be more concerned with what others are doing as opposed to making the best and appreciating their own situation.

My dh and I are still going out to work. I have had to juggle my shifts and rely on a stroppy teen to help with the younger 1!

Most of my time at home is me preventing them from murdering one another.

The eldest has adhd traits and so being stuck in is hell for her but won't set a foot outside due to ocd. Today has been the worst day and I honestly felt like walking out but my only option is to sleep rough!!

Competitive quarantining. Along with all the “If you are hungry I haven’t got much but will feed you, cut and paste” crap.

I'm not on fb/insta because I find majority of the crap people post - like 'fun' days out (no it wasn't fun, you told me in tears your little angel had a huge tantrum and that you and your DH are no longer on talking terms), and couples staring lovingly into each others eyes etc. Majority of posts seem fake and intended to leave an impression of how perfect their lives are.

If posted excessively I can see why crafts and creativity can be seen as bragging. A few posts here and there are sufficient if the intention is to simply share ideas. Nobody likes a show off! I love crafty things and it's pathetic how excited I get when DC receive a new school project and admit I will share what we make on Snapchat or Whatsapp. Problem is my dc aren't interested at all.

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and unwell with all day morning sickness so dc are SO relieved that I have zero enthusiasm for crafts. I bet half the mums posting on the whatsapp group are like me more invested in the activity than their poor child(ren).

I hate professional parenting posts too OP. Not because they make me feel bad but because there's so much repetition in them, they're quite disingenuous, and they're so obviously about the parenting boast. If you're doing an activity with your kids that's lovely isn't it, but it's just a normal, pedestrian part of life, so I don't really get why people shout it from the rooftops. It's just smacks of "look at me being an amazing parent"

I could let myself feel guilty that I've been unable to participate in family life due to having suffered from what's almost certainly COVID-19 for the last 3 weeks and having had to self-isolate from my family. (Thankfully, I'm recovering now.)

I feel sad for my DDs that because my DH is WFH and I'm unwell, my DDs (11 and 8) haven't been able to do craft activities with us and haven't done much homeschooling in general, just what my DH has been able to fit in.

Curiously, I've enjoyed some of the posts from other parents about their activities with their DC, because it's kept me in touch with the land of the living. Or maybe I just haven't had the energy to be irritated like I would have been in the past??

Honestly, OP, grow up. You are making yourself feel bad. DH and I are both working FT from home in a tiny temporary rental with crap WiFi after having to pull out of a house purchase, and definitely not doing crafts with DS, but frankly, I have never been self-centred enough to think that other people should curate their social media to spare my feelings.

Which I don’t have because I’m honestly not that bothered what other people do with their children in lockdown.

We are all muddling though the best we can at the moment.

Read these Facebook in the manner they are intended. If the posters are horrible people deliberately trying to make you feel bad, delete them ! No one needs that level of negativity in their lives.

If the posters are posting snapshots of their lives to try and stay connected to others. Just like them and move on.

I look at the online photo of the other mothers I know. Some are doing much better job of homeschooling than me. Their children are filling pages in their school books. We do the basics.

Some are cooking lovely treats for and with their kids, which we haven't had the spare ingredients to do.

Some have beautiful pictures and brilliant window designs. Ours is basic and kid made.

I don't compare myself to these mums, I am doing the best I can and that is all I can do. Luckily kids don't need perfection in their parents and love me anyway.

Be kind to yourself, surround yourself with kind people.

YABU
We are in the same boat. Both key workers, kids sometimes being left with their big brother. We will certainly not win any parenting awards!!

I just scroll past all the boast posts. Some people need recognition from others to make them feel good about themselves. That must be shite. I just think myself lucky my brain doesn't work like that and I don't need validation from others to get by.

I’m fairly happy my teenagers are eating and conversing.

This is not the time for Uber parenting (unless you normally have too much time on your hands)

My WhatsApp group tends to share pictures of large glasses of wine, roblox user names and the occasional rainbow! Neither me nor DH are working, because we’re in 2 weeks self isolation. 3 of 4 dc are symptomatic, as is dh. 2 do occasional schoolwork. I’m cook, cleaner and nurse, plus occasional teacher and admin for DH’s (temporarily closed) business. Insta perfect craft pictures would destroy me right now!

Why do people think its about them or anything to do with them? It's really baffling

No wonder teachers hate their jobs, when parents can’t stand being around their own children.

Consider it your role to lower the bar. Post some really crap pictures of unrisen cakes you made, or fights your children are having, or your children watching Youtube or playing Fortnite. If they're making you feel bad, make everyone else feel better by doing the opposite.

I always do this when we are asked to send in homework like "make a papier mache recreation of a stone age encampment". I take absolute pride in my bar-lowering efforts by sending in an unpainted shoe box with a pebble and a piece of fake fur in it. It's a public service.

Start the revolution, lower the bar, and set everyone free!

Yanbu. Half of the girls I went to school with (am 24)have kids and are posting boasting photos. Colour codes schedule's, crafty bits, baking, kids painting fences, reading, 'my kids are my worlf' bollocks. The thing is, all of these women are sahm. They have the time. They don't have to work so of course they can do that stuff.

Most parents with kids in my office are pulling their hair out. Children are being schooled by Joe wicks and YouTube. Kids running round in pants, screeching, and trying desperately to juggle two full time jobs while looking after young children. Someone I know is working from home this weekend. They usually work wed-Fri but have worked all week and weekend because any work time is met with demands of food, arguments with siblings or general whinging. They don't have time for multi coloured homemade play dough. I strongly feel that time to make up these activities and then brag on fb abkyt it is an indication of how much free time they have

BTW I don't have kids. But the 'I look at this as an opportunity to know my kids better' gets right up my nose. It's from people I personally know haven't worked a day in their life, having had 3 children by age 21,anc don't know the reality. It perpetuates a stereotype from my childhood home in Welsh valleys that a woman's job is to meet a mN with a decent job, to have children and stay at home. It's something that was expected of me growing up and most of my friends. And these women with their smug fb profiles just reinforce that. Better a stressed mum on a laptop working showing her daughter women work too, than a woman staying at home teaching her daughter that's what women do.

I'm not in to crafting either but if you don't want to see pics of things people are doing, why are you on social media at all? You don't have to be, it's not the law.

Not everyone can do these things? Well, no, but that applies to everything on social media doesn't it?

The problem is the novelty is wearing off and now there isn’t a teacher to blame that little Billy refuses to learn. The first weekend it was all “I’ve set up a timetable” etc. Now the reality is setting in.

People can post what they like on fb. They aren't necessarily showing off but sharing ideas or showing family what their children have done. If you don't like it, that is your problem really. No one is saying you have to do it.
We don't do craft and only rarely do baking, don't put it on fb either. Doesn't bother me if others do though.

If you think it is bad now, imagine if this goes on until Christmas......

We will be inundated with "our Crafty Corona Christmas" posts.

I'm off to google "how to make a christmas tree from cardboard bog roll holders" so I can get practising. Not.

Honestly if your spouse is A key worker and you are doing a full time job and looking after your kids, well done. Everyone is surviving how they can. Now mute the conversation on whatsapp and do something else.

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Today 21:27 MaryShelley1818
Why feel the need to post on online? If your taken photos of your toddler to show him when he is older just do it privately? If your job is safeguarding children why post pictures of your toddler online?

@Pollypocket89
Why do people think its about them or anything to do with them? It's really baffling

Exactly

Its all how you want to display it. We have baked cakes, sang a song together, played endless scrabble, and risk, planted some veg and done some crafty shite.
But I have also screamed at the kids, had to do a conference call in the fucking car as.I knew they would come in and ask me shit, had more arguments and fights than they have in years, deal with sulks, tantrums and sadness. Begged for 10 minutes quiet to finish some work.

I could have instagrammed it all to Look perfect but it sure has hell wasn't.

Consider it your role to lower the bar. Post some really crap pictures of unrisen cakes you made, or fights your children are having, or your children watching Youtube or playing Fortnite

See, I like those too. Makes me feel normal lol.
Seeing as I'm constantly having to stop my two braining each other with the PS4 consoles lol

Ugh I agree . I cannot get my kids to be interested in all the crafty crap and I hate the idea of the mess . We do the school work that has been set, then they’re free to do gaming for a while, play in the garden or I will do a bit of cooking maybe watch gumball with them . I had to take myself out of a Facebook group where loads of mums were competing with a daily timetable of unrealistic expectations, when all the poor kids are perplexed about the world at the moment .