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To ask for a way to irritate woman parking in my spot?

224 replies

Solasshole · 21/12/2019 18:18

Background, I live in a flat above a shop. My flat has it's own parking spot that I pay for. Despite this a entitled prick of a woman lady keeps parking in my spot. She has been told many times not to, but continues to do so. She understands it is private parking but doesn't care and says "I'm just leaving" or "I wont be long"

So, help me think if a suitably irritating thing I can do to her next time it happens? Nothing illegal obviously. Perhaps upending a nearby recycling bin all over her car

What can I do to teach her a lesson seeing as she clearly gives no fucks about what shes doing Wink

(Cant be bothered with putting up a penguin bollard, also cant block her in as it would mean I would be blocking a road to do so. Just something that would annoy her...)

OP posts:

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2019 18:20

Let the air out of her tires.

Blame local woodpeckers.

Repeat until she stops.


Funnyface1 · 21/12/2019 18:20

Leave a note on the car that says next time she'll be clamped. Then buy a clamp.


Lordfrontpaw · 21/12/2019 18:20

Who is she - I assume it’s the same person each time?

A colleague superglued a note the someone’s windscreen who did this - I’m not recommending that - but can you get a ‘unauthorised vehicles will be clamped/fined’ sign?


ISmellBabies · 21/12/2019 18:22

Throw some eggs out of your window?


Lochroy · 21/12/2019 18:22

Is she just a shop customer? Go into the shop at the same time as her and say something potentially embarrassing loudly like 'ooh, don't forget your Condoms'


GhostHoward · 21/12/2019 18:22

Park behind her and leave, so she's stuck.

To be honest, just buying a lockable bollard is the best way to fix it, as she's obviously a CF.


Lllot5 · 21/12/2019 18:22

Put something in the space? Wheely bin if you have one.


purplecorkheart · 21/12/2019 18:22

Can you link loads of bike chain locks together and fit onto her hub caps depending on the type.


TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/12/2019 18:23

Or just get it towed. Simple as that.


ISmellBabies · 21/12/2019 18:23

If she shouts up "Oi, stop throwing eggs", yell back "I'm just stopping now, won't be a minute" and throw a few more.


nottomgates · 21/12/2019 18:23

Let your dog ( friends dog etc) leave a present by her car door every time she parks there.


Solasshole · 21/12/2019 18:24

There is an unauthorised etc sign however I doubt anyone would ever get there in time
to clamp her before she leaves iyswim? She is there every now and again for short periods and seems to think it's fine because shes not taking long, but it's really fucking annoying for me now being able to park in my own spot! (Never any parking on the road here either so would mean I'd have to drive ages away just to get into my own place)

OP posts:

HoHoHoik · 21/12/2019 18:25

Anything you say or do specifically to annoy her is only going to make you look like a tit and will turn an irritating situation into an all out feud.

Either get a sign saying unauthorised vehicles will be clamped (and follow through on actually clamping her) or buy a removable bollard to stop her accessing the space in the first place.


Littlebelina · 21/12/2019 18:27

Bird seed on the car?


sarahjconnor · 21/12/2019 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Winterdaysarehere · 21/12/2019 18:28

Just recently I used lots of sellotape and stickers to notify a van driver he parked like a twat. ..
He doesn't anymore...


NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 21/12/2019 18:30

I know you cba and that is understandable but you cannot let this CF get away with it. For the good of society OP, don't tit about with petty annoyances, get a bollard & sort her out.


TheCanterburyWhales · 21/12/2019 18:31

Go through whatever the legal protocol is to stop her.
And ignore all the stupid recommendations of violence and vandalism or you'll get yourself arrested at worst, or considered a lunatic at best.


Taddda · 21/12/2019 18:33

Is it legally your parking bay? I'm sure you can get her clamped??


Pinkywoo · 21/12/2019 18:34

Flick yoghurt out of the upstairs window at her car, then blame it on seagulls!


katewhinesalot · 21/12/2019 18:35

Wheely bins are a good one, even better if the wind blows it over. Or bird seed on the top of her car.


WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 21/12/2019 18:35

You need the bollards I’m afraid. She will just keep parking there otherwise. You could try cones but I reckon she’d move them.


SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 21/12/2019 18:35

Just get a penguin bollard. If it wasn't for the mention of a shop, I would swear you were my Mother, who has this very problem, moans about it, but won't spend £12 on a bollard. Xmas Hmm


Taddda · 21/12/2019 18:36

Get a legal notice typed up with a warning, take a picture of her car and stick it on the notice saying you've sent this to 'relevant authorities' who will be taking action if it continues.....don't key her car ffs!


jillandhersprite · 21/12/2019 18:37

Keep glueing/sticking notices on her windows every time - try and find out what kind of glue is really hard to unpeel/remove.

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