To ask for a way to irritate woman parking in my spot?

[Solasshole]

Background, I live in a flat above a shop. My flat has it's own parking spot that I pay for. Despite this a entitled prick of a woman lady keeps parking in my spot. She has been told many times not to, but continues to do so. She understands it is private parking but doesn't care and says "I'm just leaving" or "I wont be long"

So, help me think if a suitably irritating thing I can do to her next time it happens? Nothing illegal obviously. Perhaps upending a nearby recycling bin all over her car

What can I do to teach her a lesson seeing as she clearly gives no fucks about what shes doing

(Cant be bothered with putting up a penguin bollard, also cant block her in as it would mean I would be blocking a road to do so. Just something that would annoy her...)

[RevRichardWayneGaryWayne]

warning: very offensive word in link (yes that one!)

www.amazon.co.uk/Sticker-Parking-Stickers-Novelty-Decals/dp/B0716C6853?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Alternatively I have seen private car park companies that will cover a single space. basically they send you a sign, you put it up - 24 hours later you can start enforcement. Take a picture of the car in the space and send it to them and they do the rest. Look under self ticketing service

parkdirectukltd.co.uk/services/

not sure if this company will cover just 1 space, but I'm sure there are others that will, or are there other space owners that might want to band together? Won't cost you anything either way and even if she successfully appealed it's still a pain for her

[DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh]

It's YOU, isn't it purplebunny?

[teentree]

I can't imagine being the type of person who would rather 'irritate' the CF Parker rather then pop up a bollard and carry on with life

[teentree]

After all, a bollard blocking the space will not only ensure your parking space; it will irritate her as well:

The only reason I can possibly think of for another doing this is because it's not actually your space

[RenoSusan]

I only had this problem once. I placed very large stones carefully on her windshield with a note that this is my place. She had to very carefully remove 5 large rocks-how inconvenient.

[Ginger1982]

"I know she shouldn't be parking there, but if she isn't really taking long can you not just drive around for a bit until she's gone?"

Why should she? It's her space! She paid to park in it whenever she likes.

OP, get a collapsible bollard.

[pollymere]

Agree that I would have a notice saying that by parking there you agree to paying £70 parking charge. Then put copy of notice threatening court action if not paid within 30 days on windscreen using double sided sticky tape. If she persists she will then owe you enough in fines to make it worth taking her to court over...

[NewPapaGuinea]

Cable tie a trolley from the shop, if they have them, to the door handle

[Butchyrestingface]

Cant be bothered with putting up a penguin bollard

Don’t understand this attitude, frankly. If it were my space, it’d be surrounded by more fucking electrified penguins than the South Pole.

[teentree]

OP, get a collapsible bollard

OP 'can't be bothered'

[Jeeperscreepers69]

Think Taddas idea is the best. Leave a note telling her you photographing her in your spot and the fine from council will follow in post. She will crap herself

[Taddda]

@Jeeperscreepers69

[Barmychick]

Suggest you go the legal route

[MMMMMaria]

This is the best solution in that you will not get I trouble and it should stop them parking in your space:

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To ask for a way to irritate woman parking in my spot?214Show OP
21/12/2019 19:16 mumwon

flour & water glue & raw potato in the exhaust

21/12/2019 19:17 SexlessBoulderBelly

Take a photo of her car while it’s parked there, make a poster with a sarcastic message on it and ask the shop if you can stick it in the window for everyone to see. Obviously not anything abusive or crass but something sarcy and embarrassing should do the trick.

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21/12/2019 19:18 DisplayPurposesOnly

She was enraged while everyone else in the office silently cheered.

Why wouldnt you tell her it served her right?

21/12/2019 19:18 itbemay1

Does she go into one shop or many? If it's the one I would speak to the shop owner and keep doing it as they possibly won't want to upset the residents and may speak to their customer

21/12/2019 19:20 birdsarecute45

Because she is the deputy head and she is a fucking spiteful bitch.

21/12/2019 19:20 Yetanotherwinter

Ignore all the stupid advice that will likely see you end up with the Police knocking on your door. Legal channels are your only option.

21/12/2019 19:21 mumwon

"no responsibility can be taken for anyone parking in this space" sign - than you have free range of what can "accidently" fall on her car -like glass paint on the window screen (demonic grin)

21/12/2019 19:22 Somanysocks

How about emptying a tin of sardines on the vent intake, neatly so she doesnt notice them, she's bound to put the heater on at this time of year.

21/12/2019 19:24 AllergicToAMop

Lipstick on the windscreen with definition of private parking. It's a pain to wash.

21/12/2019 19:25 FairfaxAikman

Flick a dollop of vaseline right in the centre of the drivers side of the windscreen. With any luck she'll try to use her wipers to get it off and smear it.
It takes a lot of soap and elbow grease to get that shit off

21/12/2019 19:25 OhioOhioOhio

Honestly, I'd be really careful. You don't want to end up in bother.

21/12/2019 19:26 mumwon

@Yetanotherwinter none of us are seriously suggesting these ideas - what we are trying to do is have a laugh with op -or a least I am - but this is irritating & it simple isn't fair

21/12/2019 19:28 handbagsatdawn33

A friend had a similar problem.
After the same "I'll just be a minute" response, she used full nappies & swiped them across all the windows.
I'm not recommending this, but it didn't happen again.

21/12/2019 19:31 Hepsibar

I had a similar situation when I first moved out of home. It's a shame the parking spaces dont have chains and padlocks otherwise, I found this a very useful option ...

Other options might include:

• getting some adhesive signs (but one that will come off) but leaving a residue. Private Parking, please dont park in these private spaces.
  *Contacting your management company to request a sign be put up saying private parking, clamping in operation (though the laws have changed, it still may warn some off)
  *Maybe someone could let down the tyres.
  
  21/12/2019 19:33 elmosducks
  
  I love the Vaseline and glitter idea.
  
  21/12/2019 19:36 mummyduckduck
  
  Wrap her car in clingfilm?
  
  No damage but very inconvenient.
  
  21/12/2019 19:41 Biscuitsdisappear
  
  Peanut butter is another option.
  
  21/12/2019 19:41 Corneliawildthing
  
  My dad used to stick a potato up the exhaust pipes of the members of the local religious meeting's cars when they blocked him in on a Sunday grin
  
  21/12/2019 19:53 Jojo19834
  
  Glitter in the air vents. Will make a royal mess when she puts the blowers on!
  
  21/12/2019 20:00 LakieLady
  
  At one job I had, we had problems with people parking in the staff car park and staff not being able to park.
  
  They had some A5 sticky labels printed, saying "Private Parking - Please Do Not Park Here Again". The labels were very sticky: they would come off eventually without leaving a mark, but you could only pick off a tiny bit at a time.
  
  First time offenders would find one just tucked, not stuck, under their windscreen wiper. If they did it again, it would be stuck to the window in the driver's door, so they could drive home with the window down or pick it off there and then if they preferred.
  
  On the 3rd offence, the label would be stuck to the widscreen itself, so that the CF had to scrape it off so they could see to drive away.
  
  No-one ever did it a 4th time.
  
  I worked for a county council, in the legal department. The label deterrent was dreamed up by the council's chief legal officer.

[daffyducked]

Why should the OP go to not only the expense of a bollard but also the agro to put the bollard up and down each time she uses the space just because of 1 idiot?

[JKScot4]

Get these and plaster them on her windscreen every time

[Pedallleur]

Get a removable bollard fitted. Yes it will cost money but it will stop anyone parking there and give you peace of mind. Some hinge others lift out. Don't torment yourself

[FallenAngel01]

Get it towed.And keep getting it towed. She'll get the hang of it.

[Teaandcake1000]

daffyducked

What would you suggest then?

Bollard is sensible, legal and effective

All the suggestions of petty vandalism and childish notes just serve to inflame and escalate an easily controllable situation.

They are about £25 from
Screw fix and just need someone with a big drill to
Install.

[donquixotedelamancha]

I know she shouldn't be parking there, but if she isn't really taking long can you not just drive around for a bit until she's gone?
It's not like she's there all day

I don't know how some people survive the day.

[Somanysocks]

She's doing it because it is convenient, so you need to make it inconvenient, let the air out of her tyres, that way you are doing no criminal damage. She will also be majorly peed off so won't keep doing it. Simple.

[ForalltheSaints]

Do you know where she goes when she parks there? If it's into a shop, follow her in and make a loud noise asking her to move. Or if you have any suspicion she might like a tipple or two, advise you will call the police on suspicion of drink-driving.

[sashh]

Bird seed on the roof, potato up the exhaust sugar in the petrol.

Probably all illegal but it's fun to plan.

[dollydee]

One sure way to stop her - leave your car parked there and get the bus when you go out.