Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed with this date offer

244 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 11:28

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess Grin.

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

OP posts:
BusterGonad · 14/10/2019 11:30

I think he's just trying to please you by letting you know that he knows your interests?

JeezyPeeps · 14/10/2019 11:31

I love a walk for a first date. No pressure, nobody around with in listening distance, at least not for any length of time. There's things to talk about in the immediate environment, as its changing as you move.

I think yabu.

AryaStarkWolf · 14/10/2019 11:31

YANBU to not want to do that as a date but he's also NBU to ask, can't you just say, hey why don't we go for lunch instead?

Faez · 14/10/2019 11:31

Sounds ok to me, dogs can be an ice breaker

Havana7 · 14/10/2019 11:32

I would rather go for a drink or coffee in a busy place than a park with a stranger!

Pandaintheporridge · 14/10/2019 11:33

Well if your dogs don't like him, then it's a no!
Might make me think he's had a lot of dates and doesn't want to fork out on food.

Grumpymcgrumperson · 14/10/2019 11:34

I think it’s a great idea and you can meet in an open environment and have no awkwardness/pressure like you might in a bar or restaurant. Surely you can go for food or a drink after?

SneakyBeakyLike · 14/10/2019 11:34

It sounds like a nice idea to me. And if you don't like each other you can use your dog as an excuse to leave Grin

He might feel like it's less pressure than forcing conversation over a drink or food. Some people really struggle with that as a first date.

EmmiJay · 14/10/2019 11:35

Its so he can see if you two click and if not he'll bail and you can go your way. I bet if it goes well and you do get on, he's going to suggest going on to somewhere else.🤔

SellmeyourMLMcrap · 14/10/2019 11:35

Sounds like a great idea, going out and doing something that you are both used to and comfortable with.
It also shows he's not bothered for you getting all made up which I also think paints him in a good light.

It does sound though like you two may not be a good match so maybe just give an excuse and move on to somebody who better matches what you're looking for. Personally I think you are being totally daft but you know what you like and what kind of person you want to date and you don't need to justify that to anybody.

SimonJT · 14/10/2019 11:37

I think a dog walk would be a really nice first date. Is there anywhere that can combine a nice walk and a cafe with outdoor seating?

antisupermum · 14/10/2019 11:37

My first date with my DP was a walk in the park with his dog. It was lots of fun with no pressure, public place so felt safe, no set time frames so you can escape if you're not feeling the vibe etc.

Original poster
BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 11:39

I bet if it goes well and you do get on, he's going to suggest going on to somewhere else.🤔

If we were to go on somewhere else I’d have to drop the dog home and I’m definitely not comfortable with him coming to my house yet! Our park doesn’t have a cafe unfortunately!

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 14/10/2019 11:41

If we were to go on somewhere else I’d have to drop the dog home and I’m definitely not comfortable with him coming to my house yet! Our park doesn’t have a cafe unfortunately!

Well, why not just say you'd rather do something different? I'm sure he won't be too bothered as long as you want to do something with him

Vilanelle · 14/10/2019 11:43

Sounds like a perfect first date to me! The dogs will be an excellent ice breaker, as someone else said, maybe you could then go on to have a coffee or a light lunch.

YANBU to not want to go, but his suggestion is also not unreasonable.

Fantie · 14/10/2019 11:43

Just say you would rather go out for a drink.

I wouldn’t be happy with a dog walk either OP

Pandaintheporridge · 14/10/2019 11:45

I think it being your local park would bother me - just like your local pub or regular cafe, you want it to be somewhere more neutral I think in case you never want to see him again!

Dieu · 14/10/2019 11:48

I hate having a walk together as a first date. I much prefer being stationary! It just feels kind of awkward, schlepping around together.
An activity date should come later. First date should be sitting having coffee or a drink together. At least in my humble opinion!

Grambler · 14/10/2019 11:49

Find a park with a cafe at least!

WhoKnewBeefStew · 14/10/2019 11:51

My first date with my, now dh, was a walk around a stately home Grin we both have dogs so walked around the grounds then had a drink in a local pub.

pinkyredrose · 14/10/2019 11:54

He's suggested something. You'd rather do something else. So suggest something else! Lemon squeezy!

bettytaghetti · 14/10/2019 11:54

Find a different park with a café. This one is presumably local to you and is your safe space for walking your dogs; until you get to know him better I would be wary of relinquishing that space. And as you surmise, he'll probably suggest going back to yours, even if it's just because he needs to use the loo.

MissBPotter · 14/10/2019 11:55

I think it’s a nice idea. Low pressure for both of you.

Newsheet · 14/10/2019 11:55

Poor bloke has made a suggestion for a first date based on what little he knows about you, and you are judging him already.

He has probably asked women on activities and been told it’s too much for a first meet, and also had people tell him they don’t want the formality of a drink.

He suggested something, you don’t like it, so suggest something else.

AliceLittle · 14/10/2019 11:56

I would prefer to go for a walk. I find it's easier to talk when side by side. Puts less pressure on you instead of facing each other which can be quite intimate and intense for a first date.