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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed with this date offer

244 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 11:28

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess Grin.

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

OP posts:
Densol999 · 14/10/2019 14:00

That would be my idea of hell !
I like to dress up for a date

John1971 · 14/10/2019 14:03

He’s a skinflint

thisnamechanger · 14/10/2019 14:05

Dream first date for me OP. Nice and casual, also can make sure dogs get on Grin

IncrediblySadToo · 14/10/2019 14:11

I like to dress up for a date

I don’t understand this way of thinking. Surely you are looking for someone who likes YOU, fir who you are, not how you look at your very best?!

rededucator · 14/10/2019 14:16

Nothing more romantic than being watched by your date picking up dog poop.

formerbabe · 14/10/2019 14:17

I don’t understand this way of thinking. Surely you are looking for someone who likes YOU, fir who you are, not how you look at your very best?!

Oh ffs, only on mumsnet.

In the real world, both men and women dress up for a date usually.

I'm aware this doesn't make you one of the cool girls on here.

formerbabe · 14/10/2019 14:17

Even animals in the wild attempt to impress potential mates.

Mannamulearoo · 14/10/2019 14:20

My favorite date was a dog walk, we met in a city park then walked to a pub for lunch and after another wander stopped of at another pub for pudding and a hot drink. It was very relaxed and common interest to chat about (I was supposed to take my dog along too but she'd been unwell). We didn't have romantic chemistry but got on great and are still friends.

I've taken my dog on a few pub dates, helps break the ice although she's often been more popular than me Blush.

FunOnTheBeach20 · 14/10/2019 14:22

I used to do dog walk dates all the time. Two birds one stone!

user1494055864 · 14/10/2019 14:33

I don't think its a good idea to meet in your local park, in case you don't like him.
You never know your luck, maybe if you make it to a second date, he might invite you to go grocery shopping with him.😆
Just say you would rather do something else, and let us know what he says.

oabiti · 14/10/2019 14:34

Does he have a dog, too?

SugarPlumLairy2 · 14/10/2019 14:38

I think it’s a horrible first date idea.
It means he knows where you live, there is no effort from him, he gets to see you picking up poo, he gets to suggest you head back to yours for coffee (hoping for a snog?), there is no outlay on his behalf.
In this weather it’d be hard to make a good impression. Also don’t know what your dogs are like but mine needs to be properly supervised so can’t give anyone else my full attention.

Meeting for coffee is warm, neutral, safe, cheap and cheerful and doesn’t involve being alone with a stranger in a secluded area.

If you have a funny feeling... listen to it! And read the Gift of Fear, it should be on the school syllabus it’s very good explaining why we MUST listen to our gut instinct.

BossAssBitch · 14/10/2019 14:45

It's a great idea, relaxed, low pressure and you can go your separate ways if it doesn't go well, there is none of that awkward 'who pays' nonsense either.

With online dating, the first 'date' isn't really a date as such, its more of a reconnaissance mission to establish whether you fancy one another. The first date is where you get dressed up and go somewhere romantic / fancy, the pressure is off then as you know you both want to be there. How you can write some poor guy off and make all sort of assumptions about his 'tightness' on the back of him suggesting going for a walk is beyond me.

Ellisandra · 14/10/2019 14:48

Why would he know where she lives? “Meet me by the at 15:00”

Why would a dog owner but remotely bothered about seeing someone pick up dog poo, or been seeing doing so? That sounds like the sort of thing a non dog owner would worry about.

What do you mean, it’s hard to make a good impression in this weather? Do you mean because you might have walking boots on and the wind might blow your hair around a bit? I’d rather date a man who didn’t need me to be dressed up, to get to know me.

It’s up to OP whether she likes the idea of this date. I think it’s fine, but she doesn’t have to. But I think it’s silly to think it’s a bad idea because you might pick up dog poo, just like any other dog owner does anyway.

FavouriteSong · 14/10/2019 14:48

You can still get dressed up for a dog walk - hair, make-up, nice jeans, boots, top, jacket - you don't have to go in your gardening clothes and wellies. I would be wary of the local park and would suggest somewhere neutral, and suss out local dog friendly places, so that if you do get on well, you can extend the date to a drink and food.

I personally think it's a perfectly fine idea BUT if your gut instinct is telling you no, then go with that.

formerbabe · 14/10/2019 14:52

You can still get dressed up for a dog walk - hair, make-up, nice jeans, boots, top, jacket

So basically you have to put a huge amount of effort in to do something that you were going to do anyway.

Not to mention, most people have dressy clothes for going out somewhere nice and casual stuff for dog walking.

Now the op needs to find something casual enough for a dog walk but dressy enough for a date...nightmare and a potentially expensive one.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 14/10/2019 15:01

True to MN form this thread has brought out the 'skinflint' and 'tight' comments, probably from the sort of people who see no irony or hypocrisy in expecting a bloke to pay while refusing to open their purses.

AmIThough · 14/10/2019 15:10

I'm surprised nobody's suggested it's because he's married and he needs an excuse to get out the house without his wife getting suspicious Grin

Branster · 14/10/2019 15:14

That’s such a wonderful idea! You already know each other, obviously he likes dogs and you’ll both feel comfortable and be yourselves. Has he got a dog to bring along? You can always stop somewhere for a coffee depending on the route.
I’d love this myself if I was in your shoes.
Enjoy it! Don’t worry about not looking your best most polished self, obviously he wants to spend time with the real you not a dolled up version.
I hope the weather will be OK.

Charm23 · 14/10/2019 15:15

I really don't see the issue with a nice dog walk in the park. It's in a public area so good for safety reasons, you'll have plenty of time to have uninterrupted chat/get to know him, you'll have the dogs to talk about/use as an excuse to get home if you need to and as a bonus you'll get some exercise for you and your dog. I can imagine it might not be so nice if the weather is miserable but you can just rearrange the day. Not seeing an issue!

shearwater · 14/10/2019 15:20

Now the op needs to find something casual enough for a dog walk but dressy enough for a date...nightmare and a potentially expensive one

I would find that so much easier than wearing something for a dinner date. Just wear clean casual clothing and put a bit of make up on if you want to. I'd much rather someone saw me as I really often am than all dolled up on a date. If a relationship is going to work someone has to like you just the way you are (with apologies for the ear worm) not the way you are all dressed up smartly.

Disfordarkchocolate · 14/10/2019 15:21

I'd be happy with this. But I would pick a place that was fairly busy and with a cafe in to warm up afterwards.

peachesforfree · 14/10/2019 15:29

He sounds like a nice guy! If you’re looking for a long term relationship then this is a much better way to assess if you 2 click than a drink.

formerbabe · 14/10/2019 15:38

He sounds like a nice guy

How on earth can you know that based on the information given?

Ellisandra · 14/10/2019 15:38

Some people’s lives are so complicated!

Casual enough for a dog walk, dressy enough for a date? How is that a nightmare, or expensive?

OK, I admit I would be more likely to straighten my hair for a date dog walk. And I’d probably put on my favourite jeans instead of my fairly tired old leggings. But I wouldn’t have to go out and buy anything. It’s OK to meet a man to walk a dog, looking like you’re about to walk a dog! I can’t imagine any man texting his mates with a “I just have NOTHING to wear for a dog walk / date crossover” Grin