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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed with this date offer

244 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 11:28

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess Grin.

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2019 12:26

Costa for tea and cake? Is the OP a 78 year old woman?

Oy!!!!! 😡

Windydaysuponus · 14/10/2019 12:26

Maybe he wants do sus your ddogs out? Ime it's a big thing for your ddogs meeting a new man!!
And also ime it tells a lot about him when you read your ddogs reaction /responses to him!!

dontgobaconmyheart · 14/10/2019 12:27

Because all good men want women to dress up to the nines for them and must be spending money? It wouldn't have occured to me to equate this with being tight but you could go for dinner and him still not want to pay so I'm not sure it means much in that respect.

I'd find it a breath of fresh air to be honest, going out for dinner and over dressing because it's a date is pretty contrived and usually awkward, i'd welcome a casual more normal interaction ( and the chance to spend time with dogs because I love them) to see what the person was like in a more authentic way- after all that is the point, not a free meal or to impress with an outfit.

Regardless OP, you don't have to do it just because he has suggested it, just say you'd rather not and suggest an alternative if it's a problem. If it is maybe it's a compatibility issue, it's not like you know one another.

IncrediblySadToo · 14/10/2019 12:35

I’d like it. But I’m not into getting dolled up to ‘go out’ (and I’m not single so DH might object 🤣) so I suppose it depends what you’re looking for?! If you’re looking for someone to dress up for and go out, he might not be your type, it would indicate to me he’s not just looking for ‘a bit of fun’

Andysbestadventure · 14/10/2019 12:36

I think a dog walk is lovely. Much more relaxed than a coffee or a drink. I'd bite his hand off. No pun intended.

OurChristmasMiracle · 14/10/2019 12:37

It’s a cheap easy going date that’s easy to end quickly if it’s awful. However it probably is more of a summer date tbh with the weather Cos you can’t really extend it without having to take your dog home where as in the summer you could grab ice creams and a can of drink and sit and chill for a while with the dogs.

MerryDeath · 14/10/2019 12:37

Sounds nice. I've been for a couple, three, actually, of casual first date type things with the dogs. None tried to rape or murder me.

Hesafriendfromwork · 14/10/2019 12:37

Why are you worried he was tight?

A man could take you to a posh restaurant and spunk cash all night, to impress you. Doesn't mean that, 6 months down the line, it wont turn out that he is actually tight. He only did that to impress at first.

Maybe he is trying to weed out all the women who are only on OLD, so they can get dressed up and fed for free?

runoutofnamechanges · 14/10/2019 12:39

Someone else posted the same question recently and the overwhelming advice was it wasn't a very safe idea to go for a dog walk alone with a stranger. Unless, as a PP pointed out, it's somewhere very crowded like Hyde Park.

Just tell him you'd rather meet for a coffee for a first date.

managedmis · 14/10/2019 12:41

Text him back and say let's do coffee instead

I agree - I know he doesn’t know me very well at all but I was hoping he’d have grasped I’m more of a dress up and go out girl than yomping round the park in my anorak!

^^

don't assume this. Plus, if he's knows you dog walk he probably thinks that's what you like doing the most I. E why he suggested it.

AlrightTreacle · 14/10/2019 12:41

Also why do you have to go to your local park, can't you suggest going somewhere different where there is a cafe or dog friendly pub? Like the grounds of a national trust place or something?

Aus84 · 14/10/2019 12:41

It's free, it's relaxed, there's no pressure, if you don't 'click' you don't have to sit around until the end of a meal.

My cousin is OLD a lot at the moment and her biggest complaint it the cost and the tedious long dates with someone she knows she's not compatible with. Even if you are happy to pay your own way, maybe he can't afford it right now and (don't mean to sound rude) might not want to waste money going through the motions with the wrong person. I think it's sensible.

managedmis · 14/10/2019 12:41

Also echoing not meeting him in a quiet park

Networkon · 14/10/2019 12:44

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why!

If you think there's something odd, then heed your instincts and don't go.

By the way, is the park particularly large or quiet?

Runmybathforme · 14/10/2019 12:44

It wouldn’t put me off him, but I’d hate the idea, especially in this weather. You want to look your best on a first date, I always looked a sight after walking my dog. Suggest something else.

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 12:44

Presumably from the people who always expect a man to pay on first dates

Nope, I'd expect to pay for myself, am not 78, and would not want to meet up a man I only know online in my local park where there might not be many people and/or the weather might be dire as it's Autumn.

TroysMammy · 14/10/2019 12:46

Our first date was sharing a bag of Haribo tangfastics on a bench looking out over the sea. We've been together 5 years and named our new kitten Haribo Smile

Handmethegin · 14/10/2019 12:48

Sounds like my ideal date!

SallyWD · 14/10/2019 12:50

Oh I'd love that! As someone who's shy, a nice walk is much less intimidating than going for a meal or drink on the first date. You don't have to sit there staring in to each other's eyes, there will be lots to talk about (oh look at that dog there. What breed is it?" etc. I think it's a great idea for a first date. If things go well then you can go out for a drink next time.

beachandcocktails · 14/10/2019 12:51

It sounds fine to me - I think a dog walk is a great idea for a first date - no pressure to sit in a pub/cafe making conversation, the dogs mean you'll have something to talk about, and I think with a walk it's generally easier to make your excuses and leave if you need to. I think it's nice that he's tried to suggest something that's an interest of yours.

Aridane · 14/10/2019 12:52

Sounds a lovely thoughtful first date!

Swinningforza · 14/10/2019 12:52

Absolutely no way.

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo · 14/10/2019 12:54

He’s trying to see what you look like (aka how thin you are) before he shells out on a proper date.

Original poster
BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 12:56

@HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo well he’s going to be disappointed as I’m not particularly thin Grin

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 14/10/2019 12:56

The only thing I would change is don't choose a local park to you as if you don't like him he knows where to find you.

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