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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be unimpressed with this date offer

244 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 11:28

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess Grin.

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

OP posts:
gwackywacky · 14/10/2019 11:59

Depends if its luscious natural park walk followed by country pub lunch or if its walk through the housing estate to the petrol station shop walk

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 14/10/2019 12:01

@gwackywacky true!

If the park is not isolated, I would love this as a date. There myst be some dog friendly pubs/cafes nearby?

KatherineJaneway · 14/10/2019 12:04

I wouldn't appreciate it, I'd worry he was tight.

TatianaLarina · 14/10/2019 12:04

Blind dates should always be in a public place surrounded by plenty of people. Depends on the park. Hyde Park, fine. Richmond Park, not so much.

katkit · 14/10/2019 12:06

Based on his first date suggestion- he sounds like a keeper.

gwackywacky · 14/10/2019 12:07

To be honest though this is more what I'd expect for a third date or a "morning after" activity. You want a bit of creativity and dressing up for first date no?

Original poster
BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 12:07

@KatherineJaneway this was my worry too Blush

OP posts:
Lweji · 14/10/2019 12:08

He's probably trying to assess if the dogs are compatible first. Not the worst idea ever. Grin

Original poster
BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 12:08

To be honest though this is more what I'd expect for a third date or a "morning after" activity. You want a bit of creativity and dressing up for first date no?

I agree - I know he doesn’t know me very well at all but I was hoping he’d have grasped I’m more of a dress up and go out girl than yomping round the park in my anorak!

OP posts:
Wild123 · 14/10/2019 12:08

I went on a first date where we walked from near my home (met in car park) through a park and fields (plenty of dog walkers always around) to my favourite lake. We sat at a bench and chatted with a hot drink for a few hours.. was the best date ever. Three years later we still do that same walk and sit at "our" bench with a drink as an engaged couple!

Lweji · 14/10/2019 12:10

I was hoping he’d have grasped I’m more of a dress up and go out girl than yomping round the park in my anorak!

Sure, for dates, but if you want a life long partner, I'd rather go with the man who wants to walk the dog with me.

gwackywacky · 14/10/2019 12:10

@BooFuckingHoo2 Well then you know what, find a restaurant or bar that looks exciting or some stand up or something and just say "hey, I really love the idea of a dog walk, but actually I've seen xxxx and was thinking we could check it out? What do you reckon? I usually take the dogs out for a big long walk on a Sunday (???) if you're up for that some other time!"

timshelthechoice · 14/10/2019 12:16

Nope. It's a red flag for tightwad to me and also for one of those punters who then suggests going to yours after. 'I'd prefer meeting up at Costa for tea and cake actually,' and see how he responds.

Butchyrestingface · 14/10/2019 12:17

I agree with OP. But I ended up looking at flat packs in Ikea on a first date so what the hell do I know? 🙄

And yes, it was all downhill from there...

obligations · 14/10/2019 12:19

I agree - I know he doesn’t know me very well at all but I was hoping he’d have grasped I’m more of a dress up and go out girl than yomping round the park in my anorak! then maybe you're incompatible. It sounds like a nice, relaxed time. Anyway, maybe it's not all about you? Maybe he'd like this instead.

HiJenny35 · 14/10/2019 12:20

I wouldn't like that. If he's keen and you're not after the first date he might keep turning up to your local walking area and that's awkward. I also think a first date with someone you don't know in real life should be with lots of people around in close vicinity, there's plenty of weirdos so better to be safe than sorry. I'd at least find a different park with a nice cafe attached. But to be fair to him he's taken onboard the fact that you like walking the dogs and I'd say a posh restaurant for a first date is a bit unreasonable, who wants to spend out for a posh meal when you might hate each other after 5 minutes. When it comes to internet dating all dates I had the first date was literally a cuppa somewhere and later dates were posh or to impress once we knew if we clicked.

notangelinajolie · 14/10/2019 12:20

I think that sounds like a nice first date. A chance to chat with your 'best friends' walking by your side.

gwackywacky · 14/10/2019 12:21

@timshelthechoice Costa for tea and cake? Is the OP a 78 year old woman?

Cohle · 14/10/2019 12:22

I think that sounds nice - he's probably trying to give you an activity to break the ice a bit. To be honest you come across as quite hard work/grabby OP.

AmIThough · 14/10/2019 12:22

I hate the "he sounds tight" comments.

Presumably from the people who always expect a man to pay on first dates but then maintain they're strong independent women who don't rely on men for anything Hmm

Maybe he's not very well off. Maybe he's been stuck in an office all week and wants to get out and about. Maybe he thinks you share a common interest. Maybe he doesn't want to waste £100 on a meal for someone he hasn't even met yet. Maybe he's trying to take the pressure off you.

You wouldn't get dressed up to go for coffee, surely?

If you want to go for a meal or drinks just suggest it. If he doesn't want to do that, just accept you're very differently

bridgetreilly · 14/10/2019 12:24

I think the difference is that you are thinking 'first date' and he is thinking 'relaxed way to meet for the first time'. I think it's a really good idea, personally, much less stress than an actual date.

AlrightTreacle · 14/10/2019 12:24

How many dates have you been on from online dating OP? I've been on a fair few first (and only dates), going for a walk was personally my favourite thing to do for a first date/meeting.

The thing about online dating is that you're kinda doing it backwards: you're going on a 'date' with someone you've never met before in person before, so don't know if you actually find them attractive in real life yet. I think it's a nice idea to have a walk and a chat, see if there's a spark and then if there is then hopefully there will be a second date with something a bit more romantic planned.

Also if you're worried about him being "tight"...my first ever date with my boyfriend was a walk with my dog, and he's the most generous person I've ever met.

Original poster
BooFuckingHoo2 · 14/10/2019 12:24

I don’t understand how I’m being grabby?

I haven’t suggested he takes me out for dinner nor that he should pay for coffee/drinks! I said in my OP I’m more than happy to pay my way.

OP posts:
kerkyra · 14/10/2019 12:25

I've had a few dog walk first dates. They tend to be casual with no pressure ( ie wearing wellies!) and I find it easier to make conversation as you're not sitting opposite each other like an interview.
If it goes well,then you can wow him on the second date with dressing up,hair and make up looking great!

Basil90 · 14/10/2019 12:25

That sounds like a perfect date to me