To be unimpressed with this date offer

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess .

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

Me neither! 😆

Sounds shit.

Don't go

None of us can tell what's going on without more info. I think it sounds like a nice casual meeting, without any pressure, so that it would be more like meeting someone in the traditional way.

He's chosen something he thinks you would enjoy, and it is in a public place during daylight hours. Rather thoughtful actually.

Thinking that a dog walk as a first date makes him sound tight says much more about your attitude than his.

I think a dog walk is a lovely idea, and I don't even like dogs.

I think it's an incredibly thoughtful first date, makes it clear he is interested in you as a person rather than a "lets go for drinks and see if she'll invite me round her place" kind of bloke. YANBU for not being interested in that kind of date but YABVU for thinking it might mean that he is tight.

I would suspect OLD is different to being asked out in person. You have never physically met, whereas before OLD, at least you might have met someone a few times (eg through friends or something) so you had more certainty what you were getting into.

Maybe he is stingy OP, but also maybe not? Maybe he wants to make you feel comfortable and take the pressure off, by meeting in a public place, so you can literally run off if it’s not going well with no awkwardness?

I wouid just go. You might not even like him. I’m sure he’ll take you in a more “proper date” if it goes well.

I am someone who expects a man to want to pay at the outset (but I’m mid-40s). Anyway, after this walk, if it does transpire he is one of these that won’t take you out and starts suggesting hanging out at your house or wandering around aimlessly, then don’t bother.

I’ve seen this adviser on line as an easy relaxed first meeting. It’s got an obvious end and us quite short, and the dogs are a buffer if conversational is a bit slow.

I wouldn’t write him off or judge him for it - he may just have read that advice.

If you don’t want to, just message back that you’d rather grab a coffee and be able to concentrate on saying hi without your dog bouncing around.

I was hoping he’d have grasped I’m more of a dress up and go out girl than yomping round the park in my anorak!

Maybe he has, and he's just checking you aren't too much of a princess. Do you have a fashionable dog, or one you can enjoy long walks with? Personally I think dinner and pub dates are really awkward and I'd much rather be able to see if conversation flows ok without lots of awakward forced eye contact. So a walk ideal. If you get on well in person, great, you can go out and have a good time. Is there no dog walk that has a pub with beer garden anywhere?

My first date with my DP was a walk. Not even a dog walk, as neither of us has one. I knew him as a friend of a friend so wasn't worried about the fact we walked somewhere fairly isolated. If I hadn't known him I'd have chosen somewhere busier. It was a lovely, no pressure way of us getting to know each other. We could point things out to chat about, or just walk alone without talking.

He's very generous with his time, money and energy. He's also not at all bothered that sometimes I get muddy and wet because I'm outdoors a lot. He doesn't expect me to be dressed up, although he appreciates it if I want to dress up. We still enjoy walking together, although where we went for our first date is special to both of us.

OP you can just decide you're not compatible and not go. You can go and see how you get on. You can suggest alternatives if you're not happy with a dog walk. Any of these things is fine - although if you keep doing the first you'll probably miss out on some great blokes.

hey I'll go

who cares if it doesnt seem to cost anything, do you really care?

I really like this idea but obviously would be worried if he suggested someplace isolated.

I wouldn't like it but only for the safety aspect. A busy park with a dog friendly pub/cafe nearby, yes. Not your local though in case he turns out to be a weirdo.

I am someone who expects a man to want to pay at the outset (but I’m mid-40s).

I'm older. I don't expect the man to pay. It's 2019 and women can earn their own money. Christ, we've had at least two waves of feminism during my lifetime. How is this shit still going on?

Dog walk sounds okay .... if it was followed with a nice picnic or meal / coffee at a pub/cafe. Just a dog walk is bland... so romantic picking up your dogs poo.

I have a dog as well and I love walking her but no it's not really first date material !

This situation would give me ridiculous anxiety about what to wear. I'd probably be a total twat and go out and buy new jumper/jeans and boots to attempt to create the perfect casual but datey dog walking outfit. Then I'd be paranoid about my hair frizzing and have to do my make up and the whole lot would probably cost more in time, effort and money than just getting ready for a dinner date.

I'm sure I'll get flamed by everyone now for wanting to make an effort and all of your amazing husbands fell in love with you at first sight despite the fact you'd crawled through a sewer in a boiler suit to get to your first date...

Back in the real world...

(Sigh) Vanhi Yes, I'm knocking on a bit and totally agree with this.
I don't expect the man to pay. It's 2019 and women can earn their own money. Christ, we've had at least two waves of feminism during my lifetime. How is this shit still going on?

He was being thoughtful imho.
Not knowing either of you or what you've written about yourselves it's hard to say if he has badly misjudged you or not.
On the balance I'd say Yabu though.
You don't need to hide behind glamour,let him get to know the real you.
You might find you're more relaxed than you anticipate and really enjoy yourself.
Go,and if nothing else,the dog's get a good walk!😺🐕

With the brutality of a MN vote, I say YABU.

Apparently loads of people meet and marry through walking their dogs.

And think of the advantages: you get to see how he is with animals (they can tell a rotter).

You get into the fresh air.

No beer goggles or temptation to 7do something you might regret because alcohol.

And so on.

I think it's a lovely idea.

This would be an ideal first date for me. Dogs as an icebreaker, pressure off. If he's not for you then that's ok too, but I think it's a nice idea.

It sounds fab, OP.

Just choose somewhere nice - local NT place or country park? Or a good footpath with a nice pub en route.

He sounds like my ideal date

I think it sounds like a great idea. The first ‘date’ is really just an opportunity to meet each other in person and see if you click. So I wouldn’t think of it as a ‘date-date’ at all really. I’d you do get on then you can arrange a proper date. If you don’t fancy a dog walk then just suggest something similarly low key, like meeting for a coffee.

I think this is a really good idea and a great suggestion for a date. It's a no pressure date. The dogs give you something to talk about. It easy to be distracted if conversation isn't flowing and an easy goodbye at the end of the walk. You get to see him casually, not all smartened up for a dinner date.

You actually have common ground and he is identifying this. You can also see how he is with his dogs and with your dogs which will tell you lots about him.

Go for it.

I think it's fine if it's public enough and there will be other people around.