To be unimpressed with this date offer

[BooFuckingHoo2]

I’ve been chatting to a guy from OLD and he’s asked me on a date, all well and good. I’d assumed he’d want to go for a drink/coffee or at a push food/some form of activity but instead he’s suggested we go for a dog walk (I have dogs).

I can’t help feel really odd that he’s suggesting meeting at my local park for a walk for the first date and I can’t put my finger on why! I suppose maybe I think that if he’s asked to take me out he should at least take me for a drink? (Note: I would be happy going halves).

Also I love walking my dog but it’s something I much prefer to do alone, looking a mess .

Am I being a spoilt bitch?

This thread is just full of clichés and women attempting to be the cool girl.

Basically if you want to look nice on a date, you are completely superficial.

If you'd like to actually go out somewhere, you're a gold digger.

Oh and a man is only a keeper if he's fine to see you elbow deep in dog shit on a first date.

Sounds like a lovely first date to me. Guaranteed topic of conversation (dog). No need to stare into one another’s eyes and make small talk!

Seriously. This isn't the 1950s. You can say, oh I'd prefer to go for a coffee/drink/lunch, whatever you fancy. You don't need to do what he says because he's a bloke.

He made a suggestion, you just suggest something else.🤷‍♀️

I think it sounds like a great idea

The only guy who suggested a walk on our first date was a total control freak. And a creep.
Of course, this is only my experience, and most men who suggest this as a first date will be perfectly nice!
Give me a pub first date any day of the week, with me all done up, with hair and nails done.
Shoot me!

I'd be perfectly happy with a dog walk - means you always have something to talk about (the dogs) and you can make excuses to leave easily if it's too awkward.

I'd much rather a dog walk than sitting awkwardly in a coffee shop not knowing what to say!

He hasn't done anything wrong. But, if you'd prefer to do something else, YANBU - suggest an alternative date activity. Personally, I'd be concerned about the horrible weather - at best, you'll need to choose a park that has a cafe or covered area where you can shelter with the dogs if it's chucking it down with rain.

I don’t think anyone is ‘attempting’ to be a cool girl. I think there are just plenty of people in here - reflecting real life - who wouldn’t stress about buying a whole new outfit to take a dog for a walk with a man.

It’s all down to the OP what she actually wants to do. As several of us have said - if you don’t want to do this dog walk, that fine - just suggest something else. That might be for any number of reasons - from just not fancying it, to actually enjoying getting dressed up for dates. That’s your choice, OP.

But in itself, there’s nothing wrong with it as a suggestion. It’s a common suggestion. It is a popular suggestion. It is not a bad suggestion because it’s a nightmare of expensive to dress for. It is not a red flag that a man is tight. It is not the end of the world (and any potential relationship) if a man sees you with a dog poo bag.

What @Ellisandra said, I'd probably wear the same outfit for a dog walk date that I would for a coffee or pub lunch date this time of year - jumper, leather jacket, skinny jeans, ankle boots. Hair and make up done. Simple.

He’s trying to nake it sound relaxed. No awkward moments wondering how long you have to sit in a bar/cafe/retaurant for.

If it works out well, you can always ask him back “for coffee” while the dogs have a nap.

Definitely won’t be asking him back for coffee! I’m worried that’s what he’s hoping for in which case we’re on completely different pages.

Internet dating, especially in big cities, allows you to go on multiple dates in a short space of time. It can get quite expensive if you are off out to restaurants or swish bars as a first date each time. I agree with the poster above who likened first dates as a reconnaissance mission just to find out if you click on a basic level, a lunchtime coffee, a walk in the park, a post work drink. If it all goes well and there is chemistry then fill your boots in terms of getting dressed up. I have learned the hard way by going out for dinner on a first date only for it to be utterly excruciating before the starters have arrived.

I don’t think anyone is ‘attempting’ to be a cool girl. I think there are just plenty of people in here - reflecting real life - who wouldn’t stress about buying a whole new outfit to take a dog for a walk with a man.

And there are plenty of people who wouldn't feel the need to buy a new outfit! Why would this be being a "cool girl"? Surely being a cool girl is about being a man-pleasing sap and not being assertive enough to be yourself, the very opposite of what posters are saying, that it's better to be yourself, not an extremely polished and dressed up version of yourself.

When I dated DH we just went out for lunch from work or after work and I wouldn't get changed out of my work stuff, probably just touch up make up and run the brush through my hair for meeting up after work.

YY how horrible and pointless to have to get all dressed up for a first date and want to make a sharp exit before the starters.

Mind you, I would only wear jeans, boots and a nice top anyway for a restaurant date.

A drink is the ideal scenario IMO. I can get “reasonably” dressed up (jeans, nice top, make up) and make excuses if we don’t hit it off. Plus don’t have to get sweaty marching round the park.

To those asking yes he does have a dog but he hasn’t offered to bring it

I am someone who expects a man to want to pay at the outset (but I’m mid-40s).

Not mid 80s? Are you sure?

In any case you can then assess if he treats his dog well or not, and if he picks up poo. If he picks up your dog's poo, he's definitely a keeper (better than him paying for coffee).

No @formerbabe I'm no cool girl. "Cool girls" is a phrase for women who allow their partners to go to strippers etc and try to be ok with it.
I'd have a dressed up date, sure. But going for a walk with the dog is something I like to do with my husband so what a nice way to get to know each other! And if the dog hates him them you've saved a lot of time.

But if you don't want to, just arrange somewhere else. Obviously...

Gawd, definitely don't ask a bloody stranger back to your house for a coffee because you had a good dog walk! I'd totally expect to pay my own way, Pan, but would feel a dog walk in the UK in Autumn is a skinflint suggestion for a first date but I'd just decline and move on.

To those asking yes he does have a dog but he hasn’t offered to bring it

What? Major drip feed. That would be very different.

Check that he's also walking his dog. Otherwise, go for coffee or the pub. Or tell him you're not interested.

Actually that's weird, he wants to walk your dog? 🤣

Look just tell him your dog is skittish round new people and you'd prefer to meet for a drink.

Sounds perfect to me. Plus dogs have a sixth sense with who they like/trust.

Didn’t mean to drip feed

He’s definitely not bringing his dog and just wants to walk mine (with me).

'Hey, I'd like to ask you on a date. Walking your dog. In your neighbourhood.' That's in essence what this is. Nah.

I'd be worried he was trying to steal my dogs

On a serious note, I think walking the dogs together is lovely but not for a first date. I'd find it distracting having the dogs there, I'd not enjoy it and I'd prefer to meet for a short while for a drink or coffee first before introducing someone new to my dogs. Or DDogs