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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that DP was better endowed?

294 replies

IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:20

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

OP posts:
ChickenGoujonDestroyer · 11/10/2019 22:27

Member. Snigger.

SpinneyHill · 11/10/2019 22:29

Delicate question...is it just the size that limits positions to 2 or would a viagra/cock ring leading to a little iron rod help?
Is he good with a dildo/vibrator?
Do women come through penetration alone really? I did not know this, I'm 40 and it's not happened for me without a shit ton of filth being dripped into my ear and my imagination filling in any blanks.

YANBU but obviously it's something you deal with discreetly and maybe not entirely honestly. Ashamed to admit I have ended 2 relationships very early over this issue so I 'get' the unfulfilled 'is that it' feeling

Thehop · 11/10/2019 22:31

can you use a dildo together? Is the rest of your relationship great?

I get missing certain positions because of size though. Its difficult.

Merryoldgoat · 11/10/2019 22:32

and it's not happened for me without a shit ton of filth being dripped into my ear and my imagination filling in any blanks

Sorry but I properly cackled at this.

OP - how small are we talking?

My DP isn’t massive but it’s perfectly adequate if he’s hard enough.

gamerchick · 11/10/2019 22:36

You can get hollow strap ons. Pleasure for both apparently.

Sadly he isn't going to grow to what you want.

k1233 · 11/10/2019 22:37

It depends on exactly how small is small. I briefly saw one guy and it was miniscule - 3" erect would be generous. Nothing was going to make that any better. Didn't stop seeing him because of that, but it really wasn't the best.

Divebar · 11/10/2019 22:38

I’m confused - what positions can’t you do because of size? Or alternatively what are the two positions that you can do? I wonder how you would feel if your DP was writing saying that your vagina was too big or your tits were too small? I would think about why you are no longer with your ex if he was such a great shag? Is it that you were not a good fit in other ways? . I think it’s fair to get experimental with some toys and see if that compensates in some way. Lots of women don’t orgasm at all from PIV although I appreciate it must be frustrating if you have experienced that in the past.

Original poster
IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:39

Thanks for your replies.

@SpinneyHill It's definitely his size. He's great with a vibrator but I miss the feeling of fuller penetration iyswim.

@Thehop He doesn't mind throwing a vibe into the mix but he got a bit odd about using a dildo. So I put it away and havent mentioned it since. The rest of our relationship is honestly brilliant. He's a great guy. Just doesn't have a great penis...

OP posts:
Ginqueen20 · 11/10/2019 22:42

I had this with an ex years ago, in the end I just didn’t want to have sex with him because I knew it would be disappointing, and he’d never given me an orgasm in 3 years together Blush we eventually split, but I do think if you can’t be happy with your sex life incompatibilities often show soon after. If you love him and you’re happy in general there are toys you can use as obviously he can’t grow overnight, but I do understand how you feel it is very frustrating

recrudescence · 11/10/2019 22:46

Cut to the chase: is his small cock a deal breaker or not? Nobody here can help you decide that.

MonstranceClock · 11/10/2019 22:49

There’s no shame in liking what you like. I couldn’t be with someone who have a small penis.

Original poster
IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:49

Thanks for the supportive comments.

I've never actually measured him. I'd say maybe 4 inches? We can only do it two variations of doggy style. Anything else and he keeps slipping out between thrusts. Blush
@Divebar your right, I'd be upset if he were creating a thread about the inadequacy of my physical features which is why this is AIBU.

OP posts:
ashtrayheart · 11/10/2019 22:49

How small though? Are we talking micro penis?

ashtrayheart · 11/10/2019 22:50

Sorry crossed

Singlenotsingle · 11/10/2019 22:52

One bf I was with had a penis the size of your pinkie. Another had one the size of your forearm! Neither was any use to me at all although it wasn't the bf's fault. If you finished with this bf, there's no guarantee that the next one would be any better.

SafetyAdvice0FeedWhenAgitated · 11/10/2019 22:54

I had a long term partner with smaller penis. He was AMAZING with foreplay. Wowza. I found kegal exercises helped. We did not break up due to sex btw.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/10/2019 22:56

I understand where you're coming from, op, and you can't help feeling the way you feel.

Many, many years ago before I met my husband, I dated a lovely guy. He was handsome, smart, sweet, a great guy. After we knew each other about 2 months, we were getting "hot and heavy", like my grandmother would say Grin, and I saw his penis for the first time. Let's just say it was like I had a bucket of ice water poured over me. No exaggeration, it looked like the genitals of a young boy. I was actually repulsed by it because it made me extremely uncomfortable. Harsh words, but that's how I felt. It just felt wrong. Needless to say, that was our last date.

If it's not working for you, you need to end it.

FreshwaterBay · 11/10/2019 22:57

Could you not get a bigger pair of tits OP? You never know, it just might make him harder.

ballsdeep · 11/10/2019 22:58

4 inches? Christ I've had bigger lipsticks. 😁 Don't they say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean though? Maybe try different positions to see?

Marshmallow91 · 11/10/2019 22:58

Have you tried going on top and grinding? It can give good clitoral stimulation

timshelthechoice · 11/10/2019 22:58

Do women come through penetration alone really?

Of course they do! Some of us orgasm through penetration and through the clitoris at the same time, over and over, it's fab.

I couldn't be with someone with a micropenis or a small penis but I'd also be fine with his dumping me for anything he found a dealbreaker, either.

You need to decide if you're in it for a lifetime of sex like this.

timshelthechoice · 11/10/2019 23:01

Don't they say its not the size of the boat but the motion of the ocean though?

You can't go out to see in a dinghy, though, as a friend of mine always says.

Rachelover60 · 11/10/2019 23:01

Charming. You must have known about his size before living with him, Heartpinkgin. For goodness sake don't tell him he's not big enough for you!

Apparently you can buy condoms that have a bit added to them (some glow in the dark too).

Irritatedinmind · 11/10/2019 23:01

@SpinneyHill prior to kids I came through penetration very easily. Since having kids things downstairs appear to have been rearranged and it's definitely a bit more of an effort but still happens. I don't actually like coming other ways!

OP yanbu. You like what you like. I wouldn't begrudge a man saying he didn't think we were compatible because he liked bigger boobs.

Fantie · 11/10/2019 23:04

I’d personally dump him. Life’s to short to put up with a disappointing sex life

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