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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that DP was better endowed?

294 replies

IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:20

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

OP posts:
Branster · 11/10/2019 23:57

Tricky one this... He sounds like he is very considerate. And you are really nice to want to see what you can do to help the situation.

As regards positions, more of circling motion might give a different sensation, he does it on top or you do it when you are on top. You might have to get more technical information from some sort of sex manual.

If it’s a male issue, a man somewhere would have written a manual about it!

TemporaryPermanent · 11/10/2019 23:58

I'm definitely bigger than average [clenches away] and a bigger penis does offer, erm, different things. But my slightly smaller than average dh was more than good enough. One of the nicest things was that missionary worked really well for both of us and we both came to absolutely love it and all the little variations and motions you can incorporate into it. So much better than acrobatics with loads of positions that you never get into. Cushion under the bum also really helpful.

Having said that, he was really paranoid about his penis, so exploring anything like a dildo or porn would not have been possible, and that's a shame. What about adding extra stimulation like a bullet though? That's not threatening to anyone and could vary things for you?

SpinneyHill · 11/10/2019 23:59

WindyQueen It must be bad luck, my 2 long term exes were both fairly hefty but both were/are arseholes and the 2 smallers were lovely...but didn't..... make ....me ....want... to... see..... them...... again ...because I damn near broke my own wrists after they left

I am evil, my bucket vagina is from hell and I'm sorry

I have a fluorescent yellow beast that has stopped me taking back the 'good cock but fuck off luv he'll kill you eventually cause he's a cunt' exes. It cost 9.99 my kids owe their lives to it and I hope they never find that out

HairyFloppins · 11/10/2019 23:59

Doing my kegels whilst reading this thread.

SpinneyHill · 12/10/2019 00:05

Just to clarify a Bullet as suggested by pp is a tiny bum sized vibrator, not shooting him or threatening to shoot him.
Thats not sexy

Original poster
IHeartPinkGin · 12/10/2019 00:05

I will definitely try the cushion under my bum, thank you for that advise! And @Blue7, I'd rather ask strangers on the internet for help than my friends IRL simply out of respect to DP. I did Google this issue but some of the articles are crap, suggesting positions we really can't maintain as he hasn't got the length in the first place.

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 12/10/2019 00:07

Try lying with some pillows under your bum, he kneels not on pillows. Should help you line up better and feel more of his girth. In this position he should also have decent access to your clitoris, if he can manage to stimulate whilst penetrating it might feel like more. Good luck:)

Mother87 · 12/10/2019 00:09

Prawn... exactly what exercises in the deployment of pelvic floor would you suggest...for rapid results? (Asking for a friendGrin)

FrogFairy · 12/10/2019 00:20

It might be worth reading a bit on coital alignment.

Cautionsharpblade · 12/10/2019 00:27

Have you tried anal sex? It’s not everybody’s cup of tea but it can give very strong orgasms and a four inch penis is ample for it.

Raspberrytruffle · 12/10/2019 00:32

Maybes it's your member? Oh sorry your vag . I'm wondering how you would feel if you heard your boyfriend complaining of your bucket fanny? Either dump the guy or practice your kegals it works wonders Wink

percheron67 · 12/10/2019 00:34

I once had a boyfriend (not for long!) excuse the pun, whose penis was like a tall thimble. It was very off-putting.

Ohthatsfabulousdarling · 12/10/2019 00:36

Have you put your legs up in his shoulders? I'm just thinking it might be harder for it to slip out from that position

Also, get into missionary/doggy- whatever your position is, tell him you want him to keep still for a moment, then see how smaller movements work, even sort of clenching your muscles inside as you move might be enjoyable.

oabiti · 12/10/2019 00:38

OP, I'm not sure why some have given you a hard time (NPI). You haven't been insensitive. You haven't been cruel. You've been honest. And you have the right to decide what feels better for you.

I've had both ends of the spectrum; one too big, that I was in chronic pain for days. And another that made me feel icky.

I just don't understand why it's a problem for some women to say they have better sex with bigger Dicks 🤔. I know I do, and I know my body best.

HUZZAH212 · 12/10/2019 00:48

Obviously not for everyone, but I think around the 2yr mark sex tends to become less frequent anyway. I know you've said you're not asking about ending the relationship, but if its bothering you slightly now. How can you imagine feeling about it in say 20yrs time? Sometimes people can be really lovely and wonderful but just not the right fit (no pun intended). Sex isn't the be all and end all but it's often the glue to strengthen relationships.

managedmis · 12/10/2019 00:56

Four inches isnt that small really. Depending on girth too. A pp mentioned an 'interaction' with a fella whose bits looked like that of a young lad - I had the same experience : it was shockingly small. Like a baby carrot. Then I met another guy whose cock was not far off a rounders bat. Madness.

MissConductUS · 12/10/2019 01:36

I think it's okay to be aware that it isn't be your ideal as long as you keep in mind that he's doing the best that he can with what he's got.

As PP suggested, try anal and start using the dildo with him again. Hopefully he's not one of those guys who feels threatened by it.

BillHadersNewWife · 12/10/2019 01:56

God. Can we swap? Dh is too big. I know they say women can "stretch" to accommodate...but I don't seem able to!

ReadyPayerTwo · 12/10/2019 02:02

"I'm 40 and it's not happened for me without a shit ton of filth being dripped into my ear and my imagination filling in any blanks"
*
^This!*

Nos123 · 12/10/2019 02:16

People on Mn are the first ones to promote breastfeeding and then have to compare boobs to sexual organs on this thread. Boobs don’t have any sexual function. You’d be better off comparing a small dick to a trumpet fanny.

Itsrebekahvardysaccount · 12/10/2019 02:22

I used to see a guy with a tiny penis. So small it was a one finger job to wank him off Blush

When it wasn’t hard you wouldn’t have been able to pick it out from a line up of raw cocktail sausages.

I remember the sheer shock and disappointment when I first saw it. To me he was this perfect guy so of course his penis should have been ‘perfect’ too.

But FUCK I fancied him. He could literally look at me and it would be like someone had switched a tap on in my vagina. So it didn’t matter. He was amazing with his hands and his mouth and could also make me orgasm with penetration but I would always position myself so it was kind of Grindy Against The Clit Penetration. We saw each other on and off for a few years and tbh when the rush of feelings wore off a bit the sex wasn’t as good because like you I missed that full vag feeling.

Monty27 · 12/10/2019 02:31

Don't know about clenching but I'm cringing.
If you're not sexually satisfied it could be a long drawn issue. Married or not.

MrsTriOskvi · 12/10/2019 02:33

Cock sleeves, great inventions 👍

Caucho · 12/10/2019 02:40

Well 2 years in is quite a significant amount of time before finally experiencing some kind of epiphany but if you genuinely feel that way you’re better to part (if you believe he’s decent person and have any tact you won’t be overly honest as to why). If you’re not happy now and have this thought process it won’t get any better. Marriage can be a death knell anyway but is totally unfair marrying when you have doubts from the get go

Caucho · 12/10/2019 02:46

I usually don’t condone lying but please don’t say you’re leaving him because his cock is too small