to wish that DP was better endowed?

[IHeartPinkGin]

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

I have never ended a relationship specifically because of penis size, but I have ended one because sexually we weren't compatible (partly because of penis size). I am allowed to want to have a sexually satisfying relationship and part of that for me is penetration. Just as many men I am sure prefer small/large breasts or a certain body type. It is an uncomfortable truth that we judge our partners on their bodies as to what we find attractive, but there it is. Some women may prefer a smaller penis, some may prefer a larger one. These are the kind of things you find out early into a sexual relationship though not 2 years in.

I am assuming ForAllTheSaints you have certain physical attributes you find most attractive in a woman. It is the nature of sexual attraction.

Agree with Lex234

Of course anyone who is dumped specifically down to size will be hurt.
Any woman would be hurt if she was dumped because of the size of her breasts/bottom/waistline/fanny

there is definitely something right at the back that is way way better than the G spot.

I never realised what was there right at the back until I met DH. The first time we had sex he reached this spot I’d never felt before and it was so different to before

What does 'right at the back' actually mean; anyone fancy marking it on a diagram? I'm a bit mind boggled here.

I think everyone on here employing the Mumsnet double standards should work on tightening up their, loose, baggy, vaginas and working on their sagging, unshapely breasts. Perhaps many of you are too ugly for you to turn your partners on sufficiently.

People are entitled to be as shallow as they like. And judging by this thread, there are a lot of shallow people around. Ultimately, if the OP finds her partner attractive and she orgasms every time, that is a satisfying sex life. I think the craving for a perfect sex life and, especially, big dicks, is very porn-inspired.

The corollary, of course, is a tight vag. But very few on MN would like to be dumped over a flabby vag or saggy tits or, for some on MN, most controversially, just becoming flabby and unattractive.

I guess if you are looking for a fuck buddy or FWB sexual attributes are the most important thing but it sounds like the OP is not.

If you are going to argue that its shallow for a woman to have a preference for parts of a man's body, I hope you are going to argue that it is shallow for men to have a preference over parts of a woman's body, too?

Or should everyone just be prepared to have sex with anyone because it is kinder?

I understand the sensitive issues here, but let's try and be realistic!

Lex,

So,

When does this entitlement end, or doesn’t it? If a partner puts on weight, vag damaged through childbirth, tits flabby through breastfeeding? Should you dump over these? Not someone’s fault but that does not necessarily mean that you are having a satisfying sex life, does it?

Hard to argue that you have this entitlement but it disappears in some circumstances only, isn’t it?

If you only like big dicks, you can dump after first shag. It won’t grow!

Larry, I think I said exactly that in my post above, you find out earlier than 2 years in.

Bodies do change and sometimes that does mean people are no longer attractive to their partners. Another uncomfortable truth. Whether by this point there is more to a relationship than sex, enough to keep it going, is different than the initial sexual attraction, isn't it?

Lex,

Yes, I agree that very early on you can dump for whatever criteria you like. Prefer a guy with a nice watch, cuff links and shoes, that is what you go for. Prefer a girl with pneumatic breasts and a Brazilian, why not?

But, on the other hand, how many threads are there on here from mid thirties women/men either with no partners (not through choice) or genuinely unpleasant and mean ones?

Ultimately, if you want a relationship (as opposed to liaison or fuck buddy) it is (normally) all about reasonable compromise.

There is a lot of unhappiness caused by a ridiculous expectation of ticking every single box.

I agree Larry unrealistic expectations can cause a lot of unhappiness. But I also think that trying to compromise on a deal breaker will also cause a lot of heart ache later on, because it will always be an issue.

Luckily we all have different deal breakers and things we are looking for, it isn't a one size fits all scenario.

How's his weight? Extra inch around the tum is effectively an inch less dick.

I think some of the messages on here are horrible sorry, men cannot change the size of their penis

No, but men can also develop their pelvic muscles to improve firmness, and can lead to male multiple orgasm.

A bloke carrying rubber-ring weight is guaranteed losing an inch-for-an-inch, yet how many fat blokes do you see?

Numerous toys, and yes many men, on both ends of the scale, are intimidated by vibes and dildos.

Plenty men can do. Ego and arrogance are the reasons they don't.

6.5" is 98%-ile? No way. I need to go search that chart, and find one for girth. My, clenching, member is interested.

Oh, and life's too short for shit sex. Regardless of the reason. I just think there's no need to be disrespectful about it.

Was gonna NC but cba,

There's something way up at the back that really adds something

There's numerous proponents, there's a massive 15-year post, on Fetlife, supporting three pleasure spots - G spot, a spot further back on the top vaginal wall, 7"-ish is suggested, look for a bony landmark and it's behind that (Anterior Fornix Zone, or A spot). There's a spongy area on the bottom wall that can be pleasurable if stimulated with texture - we've cut up and used Tenga eggs.

Diagram link https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anteriorfornixxerogenouszone#/media/File:A-spot.png

@DarlingBuds19 Anterior fornix erogenous zone is what's it's supposed to be and it's right by the cervix. I can't see any verified medical research confirming its existence. But if it works for some women, then it works.

All I know is no woman I've been with has liked penetration that deep. They've all said hitting the cervix is uncomfortable or downright painful.

Anyway, on size, studies show a woman is generally much more satisfied with her partners penis size than the man is. That speaks volumes, and a lot of men could do with learning that great sex isn't all about a massive wang.

See theres tonnes on here that would be happier with a small to average one, and several that prefer large. There also seem to be many that arent bothered either way.

I don’t know how a thread about how to cope (not whether to cope) with a smaller penis has become a thread about it being a woman’s right to only have sex with men of porn star proportions (or statistically, 3-4 standard deviations from the mean) and men boasting about their size and ability to satisfy (which probably means the opposite).

The reality is the big dick obsession is porn inspired and a bit of a fetish. Fair enough but some guys like Barbie doll proportions and some like being spanked within an inch of their lives.. horses for courses! But I think it is bad to portray this as normal.

From what I have read and the women I know, average is fine with good technique and communication, micro is a problem but huge is equally a problem and is both uncomfortable and leads to UTIs.

Most real research says that all orgasms are clitoral and the clitoral nerves do not extend that far up the vagina. Stimulating them is far more due to girth and position than length. I cannot possibly think of any evolutionary advantage of a spot which can only be stimulated by something long enough to possibly cause injury and infection (and pre-antibiotics this would have been life threatening).

Most real research says that all orgasms are clitoral and the clitoral nerves do not extend that far up the vagina

Did you just mansplain a female orgasm and pleasure

Lex,

If you say so...

But clearly referring to research and discussions with females. I did not know men were unable to read and quote research.

It’s not to do with length - it’s girth that matters!

You have to weigh up - not great sex or just accept it because the rest of the relationship is good.

People have the right to say yes or no to sex with who they want. Yes that is bad luck for the people that excludes sometimes

I had an ex with a penis the size of a lipstick. Erect. We had to work at it, but still had fun. Relationship didn't last for other reasons. He is still single. Be interested to know if this is medical and what causes it. Or just natural variation?

P.s I had a partner with a monster sized penis too. That was actually unpleasant

i read some unsurprising research recently about how heterosexual women are statistically the most sexually unsatisfied group.
I suppose that makes sense, when as soon as a woman talks about being sexually unfulfilled, she is told all the reasons why its unfair of her to think like that, and shes obviously obsessed, and wouldnt you rather have conversation, or actually, no, you SHOULD prefer smaller penises, god arent you mean. You must have a bucket, haha,

Ive had 3 bloody kids. I would barely feel a 4 inch cock. Id rather not bother with penetration at all if its not going to satisfy me

@DarlingBuds19 phrased so elegantly & poetically Thank you !