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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wish that DP was better endowed?

294 replies

IHeartPinkGin · 11/10/2019 22:20

NC for this.

So as not to drip feed, DP and I have been together for almost 2 years now. He was a virgin when we met, so little in the way of experience, I have only had one sexual partner prior to him. I feel like the sex has dried up due to the fact that we can only ever do it in two positions due to his size. I never orgasm with penetration with him (whilst I could of easily with my previous bf.) DP is wonderful and attentive in bed, lots of foreplay etc and always makes sure I come, but I'll admit I'm finding the size of his member very frustrating now and I had better orgasms with my ex. AIBU to feel frustrated?? Anyone have any wise words of advise? He really is an amazing man otherwise and I love and value our relationship.

OP posts:

EmeraldShamrock · 19/10/2019 15:52

The quote from sex on the city keeps popping into my head, Miranda saying his penis was like a pencil she was unsure if he was trying to fuck her or erase her.
I do feel for your partner it must be awful.
Small breasts are as attractive as big, not the same for a penis.

Kublai · 19/10/2019 15:54

Just doing a bit of DIY so checked out the tape measure, I am pretty shocked that there are men out there with a - 4 inch dick. That is tiny. 5 - 6 inches seems adequate. Personally wouldn’t want anyone too big, not much pleasure in getting the cervix pummelled!

notthemum · 19/10/2019 17:22

OMG
@ oibiti. I nearly lmfao at your suggestion.
Was reading these to my dp who says we are all bloody horrible and has gone off for a shower leaving me in tears ( of laughter).
Can some please tell me what Kegals are.
Cheers.

CravingCheese · 19/10/2019 17:37

have never ended a relationship specifically because of penis size, but I have ended one because sexually we weren't compatible (partly because of penis size). I am allowed to want to have a sexually satisfying relationship and part of that for me is penetration. Just as many men I am sure prefer small/large breasts or a certain body type. It is an uncomfortable truth that we judge our partners on their bodies as to what we find attractive, but there it is. Some women may prefer a smaller penis, some may prefer a larger one. These are the kind of things you find out early into a sexual relationship though not 2 years in.

Absolutely.

I would however like to add... The OP mentions regular orgasms. And that he seems to care about her pleasure... 'wonderful, attentive, lots of foreplay'

This doesn't sound like a bad sex life or a case of incompatibility to me if I'm being honest...

larrygrylls · 19/10/2019 18:33

There is a lot of talk about a ‘right to a good sex life’. Really not sure whether this is a right but I think good needs defining. If you love someone, are attracted to them and orgasm each time you have sex, most would define this as good.

If a man started a thread ‘after two years I am really struggling with my girlfriend’s flabby vag, she is attentive and loving and I orgasm every time but I am thinking of leaving her in search of a tighter one’ I suspect that thread would only go one way...

TheWorldAsh · 19/10/2019 18:36

@EmeraldShamrock Small breasts are as attractive as big

They are?

kettlecrisp67 · 19/10/2019 18:49

Theworldash.

They are to some people. I much prefer smaller.

Maybe try a bit of anal if you want it to feel bigger!

Branleuse · 19/10/2019 19:04

@larrygrylls i think that that would be a bit mean if it was him that caused her baggy fanny.

TheWorldAsh · 19/10/2019 19:29

@kettlecrisp67 that's exactly my point. You can't generalise on initial attraction.

As for sticking it up the bum. Well if both parties are into that, then great, but it's not the solution. The OP states she has an attentive lover who makes her cum. Not sure she automatically needs to stick his cock in her arse just because it's a little smaller than average.

TheWorldAsh · 19/10/2019 19:34

@larrygrylls where's the men boasting about having huge wangs and being great lovers?

We've had a couple of women say they've got big partners, including a 9 inch monster.

Branleuse · 19/10/2019 21:00

I dont think talking about them being monsters is helpful either. Its perfectly normal to be above average, just as its normal to be below.

Im sure many women have dumped partners for being too big too. Its not for everyone

larrygrylls · 19/10/2019 21:11

Well there are some status here, 7 inches is on the 98th centile, so only one in every 50 men are this size or greater. 9 inches must be vanishingly rare, like someone 7’ tall, so monster seems fairly apt.

www.sciencemag.org/news/2015/03/how-big-average-penis

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 19/10/2019 21:23

This thread is brill - someone upthread actually used pi to calculate the circumference of another posters blokes todger! Only on Mumsnet!

EmeraldShamrock · 19/10/2019 22:30

@TheWorldAsh I believe so.
Attractiveness is confidence big breasted or small.
Lots of attractive women have small breasts.
A penis is different as they key needs to reasonably fit the lock.

TheWorldAsh · 20/10/2019 09:18

@EmeraldShamrock I'm going to agree that confidence can boost attractiveness but I can't agree that big and small breasts are the same. They'll have different levels of attractiveness to different people. We all don't find the same things attractive.

Now whilst on a biological level there's no a lot of difference between a below average sized penis and one above average. It's again a part of what people find attractive. We've seen on this thread some women not wanting a big penis and some...well some are only going to get off with 0.001% of the population.

The OP has been a with her partner for two years and he seems, from what's been posted to be a great guy. She's obviously still attracted to him. He just needs to swallow his pride and buy a penis sheath!

ConFusion360 · 20/10/2019 10:08

well some are only going to get off with 0.001% of the population

Getting off has never been a problem. It's just better with 0.001% of the population.

I would agree that big and small breasts are a poor analogy. Breasts provide a largely visual, not physical, stimulation to a partner. The same can't be said about penises.

TheWorldAsh · 20/10/2019 11:14

@ConFusion360 "Getting off has never been a problem. It's just better with 0.001% of the population."

I can't speak for all womankind, but I suspect there'd not be a majority saying a nine inches penis is better (my 0.001% was a nod to the monster penis mentioned earlier in this thread)

Given that most 'members' fall around the middle of the bell curve (stats, yo!) I think the chances of an incompatible fit are, and you'll excuse the pun, a little short.

CravingCheese · 20/10/2019 12:11

not physical, stimulation to a partner. The same can't be said about penises.

Sort of depends on what you're doing. I was with a man that was really into 'titty fucks'. Not really possible with very small breasts. (we didn't last. Also because he was the one that kept hammering my cervix.😅)

ConFusion360 · 20/10/2019 12:54

I can't speak for all womankind, but I suspect there'd not be a majority saying a nine inches penis is better (my 0.001% was a nod to the monster penis mentioned earlier in this thread)

Given the apparent extreme rarity of said monster penises, I doubt the the majority of womankind would be qualified to comment.

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