To think my husband is the worst?

[Clofty]

Am crushed today and can’t believe he can be so cruel.

We got married in 2012 always agreed we would have a family and suffered a late miscarriage at 18 weeks in January 2013 and since then have had a long infertility journey. He wasn’t keen on IVF (so we didn’t do it) and dragged his heels during the adoption process so we didn’t end up doing it as his lack of commitment despite what he was said was clear. We finally scraped together enough money (50k) to pursue surrogacy in Eastern Europe but on the day we were supposed to sign the contracts a few months ago he said he wasn’t ready and thought we should go to counselling as he thought our relationship had suffered due to the infertility issues. I was crushed but happy to agree. He didn’t like the counsellor as she didn’t agree with him on most things. One thing we did agree to do was to sell our house and buy a smaller cheaper house to release some cash so things would be less tight financially when we started the surrogacy. We found a buyer and found a seller and yesterday on the day of exchange of contracts he said he had changed his mind. He avoided calls from our solicitor and me to confirm the exchange all day and when I got home he told me he didn’t want children didn’t want to be married and he wanted a divorce. He would appreciate it if I acted with dignity and agreed to the sale however so we could divide up the profits and go our separate ways.

Last weekend we were snuggling and he told me he loved me and everything was fine. How could he treat me this way after everything that I have been through? I have always checked he was happy with everything every step of the way and he has let me down in the most hurtful and humiliating way possible. I am also now 43 so have lost all chance of having a family.

He will also now swan off to his mums who will treat him like a prince leaving me to tell my friends family and work what has happened and to deal with the estate agents, lawyers and bank with regards to the sale and purchase.

Please be nice as I am crumbling here

i'm not sure i could resist giving his mother a piece of my mind - pointing out what a pathetic coward she'd raised.

but i suppose that assumes she'd give a shit.

I am so sorry that you have been treated this way. He is indeed a first class shit. The only thing I can offer is to tell you that with his inability to keep to his word and the way he has technically lied to you all this time just shows what a crap dad he would be. Neither you or any dc would never be able to trust him.
If you can, move as much of any joint funds as you can and do not leave the house.
Take the bastard for as much as you can and don't back down. 🍰Was trying to send flowers but bloody phone a pain so have cake instead. Cheers to friend with wine. Glad she is looking after you.
Take care of you.
Cheers to fri

By the way
Please act with dignity.
Fuck that.
Cheeky bastard.
I would make sure everyone he knows finds out what a complete and utter c**t he is.

So sorry OP, I'm going through something kind of similar at the moment. I'm 49, together with DH for 9 years, married for 4. Last week he told me it was over as he wants children and I'm now too old to have any more (I have 2 DDs from previous marriages). It hurts like hell. It is not, however, too late for you at the age of 42. You could go it alone as a PP has said. Go to your doctor and discuss your options. Best of luck to you

he told me it was over as he wants children
What a despicable piece of shit he is, as such you're better off without him
I wonder what the real reason is?
Are there a queue of young fertile women waiting to receive his 50-year old sperm?
I think not!

She will be young quiet and adoring and will never challenge him
Yeah right in his dreams 🙄
He thinks he deserves to be adored by young lovelies but come on he's not a catch is he😂😅

He thinks he's a prince because his mummy tells him so but I bet he ain't really all that 😉

so sorry op.
Don't let him ruin one more second of your life.
Start living it your way.Do what you want,aim for what you want.
Use your hurt and anger to push through the days and focus it into intent to achieve your dream.
If you can manage financially on your own as a single parent,go for it.
Look forward,you can't change yesterday but today is your day !
Wish I g you the success you want.🌺🌺🌺

Wishing.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
Take him to the cleaners.
you deserve to be happy however you have your family x

I had virtually the same experience as you. Don't do anything before you have spoken to a good solicitor!

OP has said in a previous post that she is sadly unable to carry a child so surrogacy/adoption are the only options - I don’t think telling her about examples of celeb ivf success in middle age is particularly helpful

You're so right. Sorry OP! But in any case the other option of adoption is still open to you. Focus on achieving what you want in your life and don't let the bastard get you down x

you can adopt alone

Thanks everyone. Helping me to rally my fighting spirit xxxx

He's a fucking Grade A WANKER!
Big fat waste of oxygen, OP get rid of him. I really hope there is someway you can have a child
Shame we cant put itching powder in his underwear.............

Well what a massive dick head he is. You don't
need him OP, you've got this. Go and make that life you've always wanted for yourself , you sounds like you've a lot of love to give to any child. Where there's a will there's a way