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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't have to share a piece of cake

999 replies

WaxMeltHoarder · 08/10/2019 09:24

We went to visit PILs over the weekend. On the way, we stopped at a nearby town which has a regular-and very good-artisan market. We bought a heap of food to take to PILs for a nice lunch, and DD, age 12, bought herself a piece of cake from one of the stalls. This cake has apparently been all the rage amongst local children, it has been all over local social media. It's basically a rose gold themed cake piled high with sweets and icing. £3 for a small slice but DD bought it with her own money.

We went to PILs, had lunch, DD then ate her cake. All good.

Later, as we were leaving, MIL said "thank you for bringing lunch, it was lovely" FIL then said "yes and maybe next time DD will have learned to share her cake, instead of stuffing it all herself"

I laughed it off and said "oh well, good luck getting a twelve year old girl to share anything with sugar in it" and FIL got really ratty, saying "well I'm afraid she should be made to share, I couldn't believe it when I saw her sitting there, eating that cake without offering it around"

DH at this point said "Eh, it was one slice, and she bought it herself" FIL huffed a bit and we left.

AIBU to think this is bonkers? A box of chocolates yes, but surely nobody expects to share one slice of cake? If everyone had had some, there would have been none for DD!

OP posts:
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7
pinkyredrose · 08/10/2019 09:27

Fil was out of order. Why did he say she was 'stuffing it' rather than eating it? Does he have issues with girls/womens eating habits?

Thetiss · 08/10/2019 09:28

Your FIL is a twat

22Giraffes · 08/10/2019 09:30

Fil is being rude and mean. It was a single small slice which is a portion for one. I hope your dd enjoyed every bit!

CormacMcLaggen · 08/10/2019 09:31

If he wanted cake, he should have purchased his own.

Your DD didn't inhale a whole cake! Ridiculous for an adult to think like that, and it comes across as petulant.

TabbyMumz · 08/10/2019 09:31

Just ignore. You cant share one slice, that's silly.

LoisLittsLover · 08/10/2019 09:33

I do think it's a bit odd to help yourself to a treat like tg6at if there isn't some for everyone, esp when you are guests. I would have encouraged her to wait until we were at home

mrspotatohed · 08/10/2019 09:33

If he wanted cake he should've bought some, he already got a load of free food! A whole cake is to share. Someone shouldn't be expected to share a slice unless its already been decided before buying. Would he go to a restaurant and then expect her to pass her dessert plate around the table? I hope she didn't hear him say 'stuffing the cake' either. Greedy man.

BillHadersNewWife · 08/10/2019 09:33

I hope he didn't say that in front of her. Wanker. When I was pregnant I regularly did similar. If FIL wanted cake he could buy his bloody own!

raspberryk · 08/10/2019 09:34

To be honest I'd have bought cake for everyone, it is a bit rude for only one person to be sitting eating cake. But she didn't need to sheet her peice.

Comefromaway · 08/10/2019 09:34

If it was piled high with sweets I might have encouraged her to eat it in two goes rather all at once but her money, her cake, why should she share?

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 08/10/2019 09:35

A grown man cross that he didn't get any cake 😂 What a muppet.

HeresMe · 08/10/2019 09:35

Fil was out of order. Why did he say she was 'stuffing it' rather than eating it? Does he have issues with girls/womens eating habits?

I'd imagine he would have said same if it was a boy stop looking for feminist issues where there isn't any.

FIL is a idiot how far is one slice going to go, and I wouldn't share my slice of cake eithier.

Ponoka7 · 08/10/2019 09:36

I would have phoned and checked to see if anyone wanted cake.

But i would have bought a slice for everyone.

I don't think you should take a slice of cake to someone's house and sit and eat it.

GruciusMalfoy · 08/10/2019 09:36

I've never seen one slice of cake shared between that many people, he's being ridiculous.

ifigoup · 08/10/2019 09:36

I don’t think she needed to share it, but it probably would have been more polite not to eat it while you were still all together.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 08/10/2019 09:37

A grown man upset that a child didn't share a piece of cake? How ridiculous.

Soubriquet · 08/10/2019 09:37

Who on earth said she was being unreasonable?

Yes she could have waited till she got home but it was her money and she wanted to eat her cake

FIL should have bought his own

seaweedandmarchingbands · 08/10/2019 09:38

He shouldn’t have said anything, but I wouldn’t let my child eat a single portion of cake at the end of a meal at someone else’s home without asking. Sorry.

notso · 08/10/2019 09:38

I wouldn't let my kids eat cake in front of everyone if there wasn't any to give anybody else.

AmIThough · 08/10/2019 09:38

If it was piled high with sweets I might have encouraged her to eat it in two goes rather all at once

Are you joking? Its a sweet treat for a 12 year old.
What kind of weirdo eats any kind of cake in two goes?

I do think she could have waited to eat her cake if nobody else had dessert but PILs are being very unreasonable!

Maybe they should have provided dessert if they were getting a free lunch.

Original poster
WaxMeltHoarder · 08/10/2019 09:39

We brought other sweet things for everyone else - bags of fancy fudge, and quite a lot from the French patisserie stall - those little chocolate tortes and the like. Nobody was going without sweet things DD actually didn't have any of that except for a few bits of fudge. It wouldn't have occurred to me to expect her to share the cake.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/10/2019 09:39

If you were bringing the lunch then it probably would have made sense to bring cake for everyone although your fil is being rude to complain about it

PenelopeFlintstone · 08/10/2019 09:39

Well, I sort of think that ideally she could have asked if anyone wanted a bite, and then everyone should say no. But she’s only 12 and was excited about her cake. And 3 quid out of your pocket money isn’t necessarily small change. Your father in law is rude and grumpy.

Shoxfordian · 08/10/2019 09:39

Oh I just saw your post
Yanbu then

Smelborp · 08/10/2019 09:39

I’ve put YABU on the vote as I think you are a little bit, but not hugely.

FIL was a bit rude, but it’s also rude to invite someone to lunch and then one person only at the table eat cake when there isn’t any for the guests. She should have waited until after everyone had left to eat it.