To think you don't have to share a piece of cake

[WaxMeltHoarder]

We went to visit PILs over the weekend. On the way, we stopped at a nearby town which has a regular-and very good-artisan market. We bought a heap of food to take to PILs for a nice lunch, and DD, age 12, bought herself a piece of cake from one of the stalls. This cake has apparently been all the rage amongst local children, it has been all over local social media. It's basically a rose gold themed cake piled high with sweets and icing. £3 for a small slice but DD bought it with her own money.

We went to PILs, had lunch, DD then ate her cake. All good.

Later, as we were leaving, MIL said "thank you for bringing lunch, it was lovely" FIL then said "yes and maybe next time DD will have learned to share her cake, instead of stuffing it all herself"

I laughed it off and said "oh well, good luck getting a twelve year old girl to share anything with sugar in it" and FIL got really ratty, saying "well I'm afraid she should be made to share, I couldn't believe it when I saw her sitting there, eating that cake without offering it around"

DH at this point said "Eh, it was one slice, and she bought it herself" FIL huffed a bit and we left.

AIBU to think this is bonkers? A box of chocolates yes, but surely nobody expects to share one slice of cake? If everyone had had some, there would have been none for DD!

The irony of a man of an age old enough to be grandfather claiming that a small child was selfish after selfishly eating half of his special treat.

What a nasty and horrible thing to do to a child.

I really hope she didn't hear his comment, OP, he was completely out of line. 'Stuffing' is very emotive and pejorative and on such foundations many an eating disorder is built!

FiL was BVVU and it seems he has form as a greedy Fee himself.

How is your DD supposed to share 1 slice of cake between (at least) 5 people? Is she Jesus?

Your FIL sounds like a precious child. He should be pleased his grandchild is enjoying her cake, rather than having an issue with food, as so many teens have.

Let her enjoy her cake, esp as you bought sweet things for everyone anyway. Had she been the only one with sweet things, than I would have made her wait till she was at home. But as everyone had something, then yeah, he was being silly.

Greedy Fer, not fee.

Take him a piece of the same cake next time and wait for him to share it.

He was rude.

But also, I don’t think it’s polite to eat something in front of other people when there isn’t enough to share.

What Bowerbird5 says!

And every time you see him with food or drink in future, "Are you stuffing/swilling that all for yourself, FiL? Please offer all of us a share!"

My children would have given it to their grandparents before sitting and eating it in front of them. It's a slice of cake and is easily replaceable

Yes, that sounds perfectly normal and healthy. Your child likes the look of a special bit of fancy cake at a market and takes pleasure in using her own money to buy one slice. Then you go to visit grandparents and, rather than encouraging her to enjoy the cake, you think she should hand it over to them.

Now she has no pocket money and no cake. But that’s a good outcome, because manners, and perhaps one day you’ll replace the cake.

No, next time tell him you got him a piece, then proceed to painstakingly share it out between everyone and make sure to give him the smallest piece. Dickhead.

And no, I doubt anyone pulled him up on it when he ate half the duck. Probably thinks he’s the ’man of the house’ or some such. Which is why people like this persist in acting like twats, because everyone else bends over backwards to smooth over things and not make a fuss.

Yep, he’s a twat, OP.

The story about the biscuit is so sad.
When a child offers you a bit of something like that you thank them for being polite and say no. Who could eat a biscuit offered by a small child?

As for the thing with the cake I kind of see his point but she bought this with her own money. How can you share a slice of cake anyway.

He sounds like a twat, but I like a PPs suggestion of next time taking a slice of cake, putting it in front of him.... pause for effect... then slicing it up to share (or let your daughter do it)!

I don’t think it’s polite to eat something in front of other people when there isn’t enough to share

This is the main problem here, doesn't matter who it is you're visiting and how greedy they are. Manners are manners and it's shocking how many people aren't teaching their children basic things like this.

Did he offer to share the sweet treat he chose , I wonder what you MIL said to him when you had left , I bet she was embarrassed .

But the man was very rude for mentioning it - let’s not obscure that fact!

@Pinkyyy

They brought in loads of food, including sweet foods they new the adults would enjoy. The child didn't want chocolate torte so bought herself a cake designed for children. Everyone was catered for and treated to nice food. The only rude person was the FIL.

Yes, I don't disagree with that. But I'm shocked that so many people see no problem with what she did.

He’s in the wrong and acting like a child. You took along lots of food. So what she ate the cake? It’s not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Most grandparents want to give their grandkids cake NOT take it away from them. I find his reaction extremely bizarre. Some people never get to see their grandkids. He should be grateful you visited and not made it awkward for you.

@Lulualla it makes no difference. The girl was rude.

When our nephew was about three, we were on a family trip to the local farm, and he offered FIL some of his duck shaped shortbread. Fil bit off the duck's head and most of its breast

What a pig! The poor little soul.

It is traditional, when offered something delicious by a small child, to consume (at most) a crumb, while making "nom, nom, nom" noises, and then saying, "Thank you - that was lovely! What a kind boy/girl to share"

You don't snarf the lion's share down your neck! I'd be surprised if you nephew ever wants to offer anything round again! That's the way to teach a child to eat in secret/ quickly, I would imagine.

Your DD was entitled to eat her cake herself. There was plenty of stuff for everyone else - and TBH, what sensible adult would want a cake covered with dolly mixtures (or whatever) when there was an option of patisseries?

Your FIL is a glutton - and not a very kind one, either,.

I think you should teach your daughter that every time her grampa has something nice to eat, she should take half and call him selfish if he complains.

Everyone else had the choice of a pudding so yanbu.

I don’t think it’s polite to eat something in front of other people when there isn’t enough to share

But everyone else did have equivalent food too Literally the only difference is that hers was a different pudding, and because it looked like something not aimed at adult tastes, the OP & family had brought along a load of other nice stuff to share round.

That’s not remotely the same as everyone sitting looking at DD eating cake while their plates are empty.

Fil is a prick.You dont share one piece of cake! It was a treat she bought herself and hes trying to make her feel shit about it.