To think you don't have to share a piece of cake

[WaxMeltHoarder]

We went to visit PILs over the weekend. On the way, we stopped at a nearby town which has a regular-and very good-artisan market. We bought a heap of food to take to PILs for a nice lunch, and DD, age 12, bought herself a piece of cake from one of the stalls. This cake has apparently been all the rage amongst local children, it has been all over local social media. It's basically a rose gold themed cake piled high with sweets and icing. £3 for a small slice but DD bought it with her own money.

We went to PILs, had lunch, DD then ate her cake. All good.

Later, as we were leaving, MIL said "thank you for bringing lunch, it was lovely" FIL then said "yes and maybe next time DD will have learned to share her cake, instead of stuffing it all herself"

I laughed it off and said "oh well, good luck getting a twelve year old girl to share anything with sugar in it" and FIL got really ratty, saying "well I'm afraid she should be made to share, I couldn't believe it when I saw her sitting there, eating that cake without offering it around"

DH at this point said "Eh, it was one slice, and she bought it herself" FIL huffed a bit and we left.

AIBU to think this is bonkers? A box of chocolates yes, but surely nobody expects to share one slice of cake? If everyone had had some, there would have been none for DD!

Next time arrive empty handed.

YANBU. When we visit family we regularly pick out a selection of goodies for everyone, but sometimes one of us might fancy something in particular.

If he was that bothered he could have asked for a taste? You’re all family fgs.

Your father in law is a cunt. Your baby bought her own cake, saved it until after her meal then ate it. She's a good, lovely child and your father in law can roll it and stuff it.

Your FIL is a greedy pig and very mean spirited to want to take his DGD's cake. Also he is super rude, if someone doesn't offer their food you don't demand it!

He does sound unpleasant be fair.
Maybe next time get a nice piece of cake just for him and just as your about to present it to him say
"Wait, you stuff that down all by yourself, I'll cut it up for us all to share"

I’ve just read the baby boomer thread. Here we have older man who has just eaten a free lunch (including dessert) resenting a 12 year old girl eating a piece of cake that she has bought with her own money

He’s horrible. I hope your DD wasn’t too upset. I’d definitely be telling her that HE was the problem, not her!

*can't missing from my post

FiL behaved like a spoilt toddler and ruined the mood at the end of an otherwise successful visit. He is lucky to have a son and DiL who are willing to buy nice food and bring it to his house. He should thank you for your lovely selection of food and for coming to visit.

Yeah I'd have an issue with the wording aswell "stuffing" I do wonder if he'd use the same or even mention it if DD was DS hhmm

As everyone else has said, if dd was the only one with cake it would have been a little rude, even if it was her own money. As everyone else had different cakes, then she was fine: it would have been really generous to offer certainly, but with a big group, everyone having 'just one bite' could have been half the cake! I wonder if your FIL missed that she had bought it with her own money, and just thought she'd snaffled the 'best' cake: which makes him selfish and self absorbed even in that context!

tastes of nothing except sugar and regret Ha ha - I love that!
The update arrived in the same minute as my post too. Your FIL is a knob. And as for him eating half of the duck biscuit!!?? I bet he’s not a very popular bloke.

A grown man cross that he didn't get any cake 😂 What a muppet.

My thoughts exactly - what a petulant man-child! And as for it being "rude" to bring cake to someone else's house and not share - it's her bloody grandparents house?! It's not a formal dinner with strangers for goodness sake. Anyone who thinks YABU is a clown OP.

Your FIL was cheeky. But I think it's a bit rude to take one slice of cake into someone's house and then eat it in front of them (even if you bring other treats in with you).

But if that was my 12yr old I would have told her to save the cake to eat on the way home

Why? Everyone else had a selection of sweet stuff to eat, why shouldn't the Ops DD have her own cake?

On the one hand it’s horribly rude to eat something in front of others without offering (unless they have their own food so it would be weird to offer e.g. lunch at work or when you’re eating in a restaurant). But on the other hand it’s bizarre to expect to share a piece of cake. Your DD should have waited until she got home to eat it. Your FIL shouldn’t have been so whinny.

If he said it just to you and your DH then he is just a bit of a grumpy dick who really should know better by his age.

If however, he said it within earshot of your 12 year old daughter he is a disgrace and honestly, I'd seriously consider if it was right to have my children in his presence. It is totally unacceptable to let a young girl think she has been greedy and has been stuffing her face just because she's enjoyed a treat. Eating disorders aren't fun and this sort of language does children no favours, they have enough to deal with as it is without family putting that on them.

Also at the duck

Ill mannered all round, frankly

We brought other sweet things for everyone else - bags of fancy fudge, and quite a lot from the French patisserie stall - those little chocolate tortes and the like. Nobody was going without sweet things DD actually didn't have any of that except for a few bits of fudge. It wouldn't have occurred to me to expect her to share the cake.

Well, there you go.

Perhaps FIL didn’t realise she’d bought it with her own money as an extra? Still, he sounds very immature to go on about it.

I’m 40. No-one is taking ‘a bite’ out of my slice of cake. Your FIL sounds grumpy and unreasonable.

Your FIL sounds horrible. So what if his Grandchild had a bit of her own cake. You even bought treats for him. What a petty, childish comment to make.