To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

You wanted a quickie while all your primary aged kids were still awake?

Surely just wait until after 9pm.

Why can’t you just have sex at half 10 when your kids are asleep? Quickies when your kids are awake are grim.

It’s a bit grim to have sex with your young dc awake in the other room. They are all young enough to be in bed by 8pm, just wait until then.

I can't understand why people think it's grim?

As long as the kids aren't likely to walk in, of course it isn't.

You got naked when the kids were downstairs?! That’s a no no imo.

Go and wake him m up if you’re that desperate!

wow. People are spectacularly missing the point here.
It was light-hearted.
The reason we didn't have sex after 9 is because our eldest is up until around 10pm reading and DP goes to bed early. As in much earlier than me.

It's meant to be a bit of a "fucking hell, when will we get chance to DTD?"

Jesus H Christ.
I forgot you have to label everything lighthearted on here these days.

Why are you getting naked for a quickie?

Get a grip that’s life get on with it!
First world problems darling!

Erm at grown up bedtime? Seriously weird to sneak off while they are awake. Or set yourself an alarm for 5.30 or something I’d they are early risers?

Agreed @WorraLiberty! If they’re happy then what’s the problem? We are often too tired once the DCs are asleep in bed.

Does your H need to get up ultra early for some reason? If not then I’d say that his early bedtime is the problem here.

Pft if I'd squeezed out one kid I don't think I'd let a man near me ever again xD let alone three of the little buggers! Just think, one unfortunate 'accident' - and there could be another one ... worth the risk? Lol xD

Lock the bathroom door.
Send them to their grandparents.
Set the alarm for 5am.
One or both of you pops home for lunch.
Organise extracurriculars for coinciding times so you get the house to yourselves.
Put proplus in his tea/coffee.

"It's meant to be a bit of a "fucking hell, when will we get chance to DTD?" "

Does your 10yo go to bed later than your husband?

*Erm at grown up bedtime"

Erm does any one bother to even read anymore?

Fucking hell.

It was LIGHT HEARTED FOR FUCKS SAKE GUYS!

we've been together 12 years and have 3 kids, of course time for intimacy is pushed to the back burner, but I'm entitled to fucking moan about it.

You have three children...what on earth did you expect?

Lock the bathroom door and do it with the taps on? Quickie bent over the bed in a dress (so you can get sorted out quickly if need to get dressed quick) with door locked. Get a babysitter?

IWantMyHatBack

Yes actually, my 10 year old is often awake after my DP has gone to sleep. He has never been a good sleeper, and DP will go to bed around 9pm.

Pinkbonbon

Pardon, what?

In the shower in the morning

"Jesus H Christ.
I forgot you have to label everything lighthearted on here these days."

Nah, what you did is weird

Miserable gits are out in force tonight, eh.

Pinkbonbon no need to worry about any more "accidents" he got the snip