To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

try and find the humour I think that's what half of these posters need to do!

@Rainonmyguitar

My comment is right. What does the op think other parents do? Have 24 hour nannies on hand so they can have sex whenever they want?

I genuinely can’t believe how many people think it’s weird that they might want to have sex with their kids in another room. It’s not like they were intending to carry on regardless if they were disturbed!

I see no difference between the 8 months of sex we had whilst my baby was in her crib next to our bed. Sometimes awake too, shocker.

I think joint showers/baths might be your next best option, OP!

😂😂😂😂 I get it! I understand the need for just a bit of a grumble (light hearted moan!) about summat a bit random.......who was it who said the meanie moaners with zip locks on their SOH’s are out tonight? Yep? Well YOU are right!...either that or no one on here is getting any, so they’re all jealous? 😂😂😂😂 wait till you’re 60, you have all the time in the world but the equipment don’t work!😂😂😂

Listen fatty, you're not entitled to a sex life.
You've filucked up the planet by having three, count em! Carbon producers.
Hell you probably claim benefits which I'm slaving to earn via my taxes whilst you get your sausage wallet filled while your youngest shits all over your house and your poor eldet DC have to act in loco parentis due to your rabid fecklessness.

All done here?
Fab, I saved you lot a job.

What does the op think other parents do?
Have quickies when the kids are otherwise occupied?
Of course... If a kid gets ill that kind of puts your plans on hold.

Only have one and have managed to DTD on a weekend morning when she is having some tablet time downstairs luckily she is very heavy footed so we hear her coming. We are TTC so need to get it where we can before anyone says it is grim.

My comment is right. What does the op think other parents do? Have 24 hour nannies on hand so they can have sex whenever they want?

No, they just have sex when their kids don't happen to shit on the toilet seat.

@Rainonmyguitar

My comment is right. What does the op think other parents do? Have 24 hour nannies on hand so they can have sex whenever they want?

Uch you're being really silly.

Some people on this thread jessssus.

God, aren’t people miserable on here! It’s not grim, it’s natural! When my hubby and I were together it was whilst the kids were awake or not at all. Between two kids/different work patterns/me being an early bird, him a night owl that was our only option. People saying your OH should stay up later I’d just bizarre, the more tired you get, the less you want it!

HotSince82 it was the middle child shitting all over the house.
Fuck knows what the youngest was doing... Beacuse I'm obviously such a feckless parent.

A QUICK NOTE FOR THOSE WHO DON'T RTFT my youngest was actually engrossed in toy story on his tablet.

I can see the funny side of it, people are far too serious these days. I would be grateful for a quickie........ my husband can last as long as four minutes.

Another chaotic household.

Your 10 year old should not be awake at 10pm, ‘reading’ or otherwise. No wonder he doesn’t sleep well. He should be in bed for 7:30 with 30 mins’ reading allowed.

Fix that and everything else becomes easier.

OP, could the shit have been a deliberate dirty protest at your feckless parenting?

Grim

You need to get quicker at quickies! Don't bother getting naked, trousers down, pants to one side and jobs a goodun

10pm is too late for a ten year old unless a one off , visiting relatives or special occasion. A better routine may help with his night terrors.

HerRoyalFattyness...there are some judgemental twats in the world . I'm with you, when the kids were little we would go upstairs to 'sort the washing out' . Sometimes a bit of spontaneous sex is what's needed. Keep thinking of imaginative ways to get a quicky is part of the fun

I'm 100% with you OP. Our oldest is an insomniac and I'm tired by 9:30 every night. We live in a tiny house.

The people calling 'grim' sound a tad uptight.

Another chaotic household.

Your 10 year old should not be awake at 10pm, ‘reading’ or otherwise. No wonder he doesn’t sleep well. He should be in bed for 7:30 with 30 mins’ reading allowed.

Says who? You??

FFS it's Saturday night and a 10 year old is reading in bed.

Call the Daily Mail and hold the front page.

No wonder so many other countries think Brits are bedtime mad when it comes to kids.

Probably shitting all over your youngest whilst you snorted MDMA purchased with the proceeds of the taxes of the great and good of MN off the length of your DPd naked appendage knowing you fatty

How very dare you!

Some weird responses on this thread.

I see no difference between the 8 months of sex we had whilst my baby was in her crib next to our bed. Sometimes awake too, shocker

How the hell could you get in the mood with an awake baby next to you?!