To wonder how the fuck people have sex?

[HerRoyalFattyness]

Earlier on this evening all 3 kids (10, 5 and 4) were engrossed in screens with headphones on. DP upstairs putting washing away.

So I go upstairs and initiate a quickie while the kids are distracted. Just as we get naked we hear "ummm... Mum, there's a problem"
"What?"
"DD has done a poo and it's everywhere... Even on the toilet seat. I think it's diarrhoea"
"Ok we'll sort it"

Mood completely killed, 5 year old was hosed down with the shower while DP cleaned up her mess in the downstairs loo.

It's now 20 to 11, kids all asleep. As is DP! So that's my plans ruined!

We've been together nearly 12 years now, how on earth are we meant to make intimacy a priority in our relationship with kids and exhaustion just trying to ruin it all?

@QueenofmyPrinces when my dc was 5 and 2 I didn't either but at 11 and twin 8 year olds life is incomparable so don't be a judgey knob. Dc get up Sunday and get their own breakfast/chill watching tv or playing minecraft together. I don't see them until 10am unless I go to them.

This morning I went to parkrun at 8.45am (5 minutes away from home) ran 5km then walked back through the door at 9.45am for dd3 to look at me and ask where I'd been as she'd not noticed I was gone. Dh was reading a newspaper in the dining room eating toast and she'd been playing with her sisters happily with no need for an adult.

they all have late bedtimes err where did I say that?
My 4 and 5 year olds go at 7.45/8.00 (after a story and teeth etc from me) and my 10 year old goes at 9 (along with DP) but reads as he is not tired.

As for it sounding sad, yes they were in screens
Because quite frankly we've had a bit of a shit week and needed a bit of wind down time. You're all reaching to try and make me out to be a terrible parent.
What isn't in this post is the crap we've been through this week, the fact that this morning I took the children to their man's house, took them to the park and looking for conkers before going shopping for ice cream and popcorn to watch a movie with them. So when we got home I let them play on their tablets for a bit. Sue me. Call SS. I'm clearly awful

butterandbread
Shagging infront of your kids awake isn’t normal luv.
OP just do it when they’re all in bed, or don’t expect the full hog, naked etc, when they’re all awake.

Completely missing the point of the thread but who sends their 10 year old to bed at 7.30pm? My 7 year old doesn't go to bed that early!

Daisyandmay
She also had a young vagina which needs a present seeing too.....
Children should fit in with a sex life or they'll end up like me....all crude and socially inept through a lack of sibling interaction....

A job should fit in with family life.
It does thanks as DP is a SAHD so they have plenty of time with parents. HTH

formerbabe Sat 05-Oct-19 23:01:52
If you wanted to shag during the day, then you should have stayed childfree to be honest!

OMG - I've heard it all now - do people actually believe this crap?

PS OP - go upstairs and start getting your frisk on - if anything like by fiance he'll sharp 'perk up'

@WorraLiberty Ha!

And anyone suggesting setting a 5:30 alarm for sex.. nooooooo! 1.. Morning breath....,

100% agree.

I can’t think of anything worse or as much as a turn-off as morning sex.

Well, unless we have showered and brushed our teeth first but that would mean having to set an alarm 30 minutes even earlier.

I’m so tired between work and the children that sex would never be enough of a reason to set my alarm to go off any earlier than necessary

Completely missing the point of the thread but who sends their 10 year old to bed at 7.30pm?

I know. Some parents don't get in from work until 6.30pm.

Can you imagine basically telling your 10 year old to bugger off an hour after that?

OP get the rabbit out, it's much less effort anyway. LIGHTHEARTED

they all have late bedtimes err where did I say that?
My 4 and 5 year olds go at 7.45/8.00 (after a story and teeth etc from me)
You don’t realise 7.45/8 is late for 4/5 year olds?

Stop justifying yourself to them fatty

95% of what they say has fuck all to do with you anyway. Excuse the pun

A job should fit in with family life.

Then no doctors or nurses would work after dc!

You wouldn't dream of having sex with your husband whilst your kids are distracted in another room? Does your husband agree with this? I very much doubt it.

He probably doesn’t. I had best go take my clothes off then because God forbid I don’t abide by my husband’s wants and wishes.

Well we all know by this thread who clearly isn't getting any 😄

Anyone else feel really sorry for some of the husbands of the posters on this thread? Joyless bastards

Well, I can certainly tell you what you don't do.
You definitely don't take the opportunity when the kids are at a local child's party at their home, because you will be right in the middle when the mum of said local child brings your children home because 'the film finished earlier than expected' Still can't look her in the eye

Nope I have a great sex life with my dh - when my children are sleeping!

So you never get the urge at any point when they are distracted during the day / weekend to have sex?

and there’s the OP calling them little shits. Charming
Indeed.

Marvel not for my 4 and 5 year old it's not. 🤷

I'll come to your rescue OP.
35, married longer than you, 3 kids and we often sneak off for quickies. My children are happy, well looked after and are non the wiser. I will not just accept that because I have children I can no longer have a sex life without careful pre-planning around the kids bedtimes.

Anyone else feel really sorry for some of the husbands of the posters on this thread? Joyless bastards

Yes this was my thoughts