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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU or are my holiday caravan neighbours...

292 replies

cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 15:01

Hi, would appreciate your views and understand I may be shot down...
We arrived at MIL's caravan yesterday, myself, hubby and 7 and 12 year old kids, we've been coming here since 2012 and it's always been a lovely peaceful place, mainly privately owned caravans and lodges (it's a nice place). Last year new neighbours brought the van behind ours and shattered our peace but not by doing anything wrong just by having loud voices, loud dogs and a granddaughter who actually isn't that loud! Once before I have asked them to be a bit quieter as I'd put the youngest to bed and they were disturbing her. They were fine.
There are now more new neighbours next door who maybe know the others or have got pally. Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans. I don't cope well with noise and after a couple of hours I went and politely asked them to quieten down a bit. One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant) the men all then turned on me complaining about the constantly barking dogs and the fact that last year someone apparently stayed in our van and had a party until 1am. I continued to try to explain until one of them shouted at me to go away and go to the office if I had a problem (I did think about doing this first but thought the adult thing to do would be to ask in person). So I did go to the office and completely broke down. A couple of the wives came over and were actually pretty nice to me but continued to say about the noise last week and the fact that they were entitled to have a party outside the caravans.
Walking around the site for the last 7 years I've not seen this happen before.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

iano · 18/08/2019 15:07

You've never seen ppl have BBQs on a caravan park before. I'm surprised by that. Tbh OP I think yabu to complain about ppl having a bbq during the day. Why shouldn't they?
They abu for shouting at you though.

steakandcakes · 18/08/2019 15:08

You

Clangus00 · 18/08/2019 15:08

If it’s during the day then I think you are.
They’re on holiday/ having a break same as you.

Th1me · 18/08/2019 15:08

They are unreasonable for shouting but I’d be pretty pissed off with being asked to be quiet so early on in the day. After 10pm fair enough but before 10, enjoying a bbq I can’t see anything wrong.

Vgbeat · 18/08/2019 15:09

It does sound like you are particularly sensitive to noise. We go to caravans quite often and know there will be a certain level of noise with coming and goings, kids etc which is fine during the day. It would be different if people were screaming at midnight. Also it does sound like the caravan is used by lots of different people in your family who may not be as quiet as you and you are not aware if other people are annoying those around you. So whilst you may be polite it sounds like someone else from your family has annoyed people. I would say reasonable noise during the day is to be expected for example having a BBQ and kids playing especially after all the wet weather.

Blackcountrychik83 · 18/08/2019 15:09

I think it's just how society is changing. People have less respect for others but then at the same time it's a bit of give and take, some people expect others to be silent whether at home, on holiday, wherever they are. Children can't be heard, music is frowned upon and having a bbq is against the law...
I guess if you can't beat them... Join in the fun!!!

Sparklesocks · 18/08/2019 15:11

It’s during the day and kids make noise when they play, it’s a family holiday park after all so I think you are being at bit unreasonable expecting them to be quiet. They shouldn’t have kicked off at you though.

katewhinesalot · 18/08/2019 15:11

Sorry YABU.

YWNBU to ask them to quieten down and they should have refused politely but i certainly see why they didn't.

AmIThough · 18/08/2019 15:11

YABVU - I don't understand what your problem is. If you're not tolerant of noise, go camping outside of the summer holidays.

They have a few very valid points. It's irrelevant whether you were there with the noisy guests in your caravan - you can't give them grief if they've put up with worse from your family.

Dotty1970 · 18/08/2019 15:11

Yabu
Its a caravan park 🙄
Also.... Dogs barking can be terrible.

BeanBag7 · 18/08/2019 15:12

Was this during the day? I think that you were a bit unreasonable as they are entitled to enjoy their holiday and it's not like you would be trying to sleep at 4pm. If it was later in the evening, 9pm onwards it would be reasonable for you to say something. A caravan site is going to have bbqs going on, dogs barking, kids playing. If you want a holiday in silence then maybe a caravan park is not for you.

Cheeserton · 18/08/2019 15:15

They ARE entitled to enjoy their pitch, sorry. If they're playing loud music at midnight then you have a case, but you're complaining about people having a barbecue and talking, children playing.

That said, nobody should be 'in your face' and it sounds like you were on the receiving end of some nasty pack mentality reaction.

Frankly you'd have been better off trying to be friendly and join in.

Celebelly · 18/08/2019 15:15

1am YANBU.

7/8pm YABU.

Especially if your family have been making noise themselves!

Fancyseeingyouhere · 18/08/2019 15:15

Having a BBQ in the day on a caravan site is perfectly fine and a normal thing to do. You were being unreasonable in asking them to be quiet.

Celebelly · 18/08/2019 15:16

Oh i just saw it was afternoon. You are totally BU.

Shoxfordian · 18/08/2019 15:17

Yabu
Maybe you should go somewhere quieter in future

verystressedmum · 18/08/2019 15:18

This sounds perfectly normal for a caravan site especially during the day. If you can't handle noise then you need to go somewhere where there are no people.
It's your MIL caravan and other people staying there have made lots of noise, that noise is coming from your caravan so it is relevant to you. They are within their rights to counter complain about noise coming from your caravan.

Hahaha88 · 18/08/2019 15:18

Well you've left out the crucial information as to what time of the day it was. But by the fact the office was open it was likely day time so of course you are being very unreasonable. They are on holiday. They are are allowed to have a BBQ and for the kids to be kids and run around and make noise.
And it might not be your dog but how are they to know? It sounds like they didn't react well to your request but you'd have got a swift no from me too and I don't like noise either! Had it been music you'd asked to go down I'd have accepted that

Quartz2208 · 18/08/2019 15:20

I’m afraid I think you are too it was still relatively early and just kids running arounf

ApplesOrangesPears · 18/08/2019 15:21

Having a BBQ with friends, chatting & laughing, kids playing.... This is all stuff normal folk do on holiday OP. They shouldn’t have shouted at you, but I’d be really pissed off if someone tried to suggest I was doing anything wrong by taking part in these activities mid afternoon on a Sunday. I’m afraid you’ve made a bit of a tit of yourself.

MrsMump · 18/08/2019 15:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeyMonkey · 18/08/2019 15:21

It sounds like you are not suited to going on holiday to caravan parks.

Having a bbq with children playing - and not even particularly loudly you said - is perfectly fine and normal.

HaileySherman · 18/08/2019 15:24

Yabu in my opinion. Sounds like they are just trying to enjoy their holiday. Sorry

MyNewBearTotoro · 18/08/2019 15:24

YABU.

It’s a caravan park - noise from kids or people socialising are to be expected. Having a barbecue doesn’t sound at all unreasonable. I’d understand if they were playing music through speakers or if it was late at night but in the daytime noise is to be expected.

If you’re wanting a quiet and calm break then a campsite holiday in school holidays is the last place you should be going .

timshelthechoice · 18/08/2019 15:25

YABVU!

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