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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are my holiday caravan neighbours...

292 replies

cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 15:01

Hi, would appreciate your views and understand I may be shot down...
We arrived at MIL's caravan yesterday, myself, hubby and 7 and 12 year old kids, we've been coming here since 2012 and it's always been a lovely peaceful place, mainly privately owned caravans and lodges (it's a nice place). Last year new neighbours brought the van behind ours and shattered our peace but not by doing anything wrong just by having loud voices, loud dogs and a granddaughter who actually isn't that loud! Once before I have asked them to be a bit quieter as I'd put the youngest to bed and they were disturbing her. They were fine.
There are now more new neighbours next door who maybe know the others or have got pally. Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans. I don't cope well with noise and after a couple of hours I went and politely asked them to quieten down a bit. One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant) the men all then turned on me complaining about the constantly barking dogs and the fact that last year someone apparently stayed in our van and had a party until 1am. I continued to try to explain until one of them shouted at me to go away and go to the office if I had a problem (I did think about doing this first but thought the adult thing to do would be to ask in person). So I did go to the office and completely broke down. A couple of the wives came over and were actually pretty nice to me but continued to say about the noise last week and the fact that they were entitled to have a party outside the caravans.
Walking around the site for the last 7 years I've not seen this happen before.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
HUZZAH212 · 18/08/2019 16:36

If one of the families had other relatives visit for the day with an extra bbq and extra kids then you know that's why the noise level increased. As pps have stated it's as much other people's holiday as your own and they're enjoying themselves. It's unfortunate that if the caravan was let out the week before and the dogs barking has labelled yours 'the noisy van' but you must get their own annoyance.

Bellasblankexpression · 18/08/2019 16:40

@PristineCondition
You cried and broke down a few times over normal daytime noise .
I'm not being snarky but I think you should go talk to your GP to be honest

Agree wholeheartedly,m.

GlitchStitch · 18/08/2019 16:41

I think you've been unfair to your MIL tbh. It's her caravan that she is kind enough to let you use regularly, for free. It's like visiting someone at their home and then starting a row with their neighbours, you've caused aggravation and conflict unnecessarily.

youarenotkiddingme · 18/08/2019 16:41

I get people being noisy can be hard to tolerate if you're noise sensitive.

If the kids are running between your caravan and there's then get windbreakers at each end to stop them.

But unless they are screaming and swearing then I'm afraid you may find it's no longer the right place for you because they aren't doing anything wrong.

SmellMySmellbow · 18/08/2019 16:46

I reckon pre 10pm they can make as much noise as they like. You have admitted you have mental health issues surrounding noise so I would seek ways to address this or avoid caravan/camping sites during school holidays.

Sirzy · 18/08/2019 16:46

Also as it seems everyone involved is owners or linked to owners of the caravan you need to be careful that you don’t make things tough all around.

If you see them again I would say “sorry for yesterday I was knackered and over reacted” and try to make a fresh start.

StroppyWoman · 18/08/2019 16:47

For the sake of your MIL and the rest of your holiday, you need to take over a bottle of wine and apologise.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 18/08/2019 16:48

What were your children doing whilst all this was going on?

darkcloudsandsunnyskies · 18/08/2019 16:49

You.

timshelthechoice · 18/08/2019 16:51

I think from now on just send your H and the kids. It's a caravan park, not a remote cottage on an island.

rookiemere · 18/08/2019 16:55

Some people are just noisy and have no consideration for others. Happened to us at very expensive Forest Lodge weekend, neighbours had music on full blast and there must have been at least 10 people in their lodge - as soon as it got to 10pm I was straight on to the warden to tell them to pipe down, but sadly before that I don't think there's a lot that can be done as others are entitled to use their space as they wish .

FrancisCrawford · 18/08/2019 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cherrysoup · 18/08/2019 17:02

YABU and I think you know it. You having anxiety about noise doesn't mean you can dictate noise levels to others. Of course there'll be noise at a holiday site!

likeridingabike · 18/08/2019 17:02

We've had a similar experience where there's a large group of people on holiday together and you're in the middle, it creates more noise and coming and going than the same number of people on holiday independently. You just have to suck it up unfortunately.

fatgirlslimmer · 18/08/2019 17:04

It is school holidays
It is a weekend
It is a caravan park
It is during the day
YABU

I don’t think it is irrelevant that your guests made excessive noise while in your caravan, you still have a responsibility to other site users.

Otherwise you get egg on your face when you complain to those who have put up with noise from your guests.

TooMuch87 · 18/08/2019 17:04

One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant).

I wouldn’t say it was irrelevant. Whoever was responsible, it’s still noise from your caravan disturbing the neighbours in their caravan. It’s understandable they were annoyed to receive your complaint, when they’ve had to put up with dogs barking incessantly.

I’m also very sensitive to noise, so I understand and I do sympathise with you to some extent. But I think you should have just gone for a walk, turned the TV up or put earphones in and listened to music. That’s what I do when my neighbours are being noisy.

MissLadyM · 18/08/2019 17:05

You sound awful! It's Summer and they're on holiday! If you want quiet, go somewhere remote. There's a whiff of Hyacinth and lowering the tone here!

PooWillyBumBum · 18/08/2019 17:06

If it’s in the day and not the night time YABU. I would never say anything to anyone about noise during the day unless they were screaming at each other or swearing.

Why don’t you take the kiddos out to the beach or for a walk if it bothers you? If it’s night time, fair enough, but I do think you’re being over sensitive and should let them enjoy their hols.

PablosHoney · 18/08/2019 17:09

I have misphonia so I do understand your upset I truly do but YABU

sonjadog · 18/08/2019 17:10

I agree that the noise last week is absolutely relevant. They put up with noise last week from the caravan belonging to your family and the week after they are supposed to tiptoe around because now the person in your caravan wants that. I can understand his response tbh.

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2019 17:12

My concern op is you needed to ask if you're being unreasonable, that's not normal. You're on a holiday park, kids are playing, bbq going, and uou feel you're entitled to quiet. Unless you were born under a rock, you'd know this was not the case. It's incredibly entitled to ask them to keep their normal noise down.

I do think you need to explain to your in-laws. Your sister in laws dog, and now your behaviour. I assume your in laws use the caravan, and are now going to be dealing with pissed off neighbours and neither you or your sister in law can manage to behave appropriately.

Skinnychip · 18/08/2019 17:20

unfortunately, caravans have essentially cardboard walls and are usually pretty close together. Last year we stayed in a caravan and could hear the next door peoples conversation when they arrived or left in the early hours of the morning. They weren't shouting but I could hear the mum asking fairly loudly what one of the kids what they wanted for breakfast one day! It wasn't unreasonable of them but in a tent or caravan there isn't a lot of sound proofing or privacy. I could understand more if you had a tiny baby who needed to sleep

BlueJava · 18/08/2019 17:20

If loud noise (music, shouting) goes on past 11pm YANBU. But in the day up until 10pm I'd say that's normal. I don't like lots of noise either - so we tend to stay at sites more out of the way, less facilities etc. I'd also look mention to your MIL about the complaints re dogs barking - -that would be really annoying at any time of day/night.

katewhinesalot · 18/08/2019 17:27

Yep bottle of wine, an apology for over reacting and a promise to mention the dog barking to the in laws.

If you use it once month it's a shame to cut off your nose to spite your face. It might have been a one off party.

stucknoue · 18/08/2019 17:27

If it was before 10pm you are being unreasonable. It's a holiday park you expect people to enjoy themselves. If you want a get away from it all holiday book an isolated cottage