AIBU or are my holiday caravan neighbours...

[cherry1970]

Hi, would appreciate your views and understand I may be shot down...
We arrived at MIL's caravan yesterday, myself, hubby and 7 and 12 year old kids, we've been coming here since 2012 and it's always been a lovely peaceful place, mainly privately owned caravans and lodges (it's a nice place). Last year new neighbours brought the van behind ours and shattered our peace but not by doing anything wrong just by having loud voices, loud dogs and a granddaughter who actually isn't that loud! Once before I have asked them to be a bit quieter as I'd put the youngest to bed and they were disturbing her. They were fine.
There are now more new neighbours next door who maybe know the others or have got pally. Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans. I don't cope well with noise and after a couple of hours I went and politely asked them to quieten down a bit. One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant) the men all then turned on me complaining about the constantly barking dogs and the fact that last year someone apparently stayed in our van and had a party until 1am. I continued to try to explain until one of them shouted at me to go away and go to the office if I had a problem (I did think about doing this first but thought the adult thing to do would be to ask in person). So I did go to the office and completely broke down. A couple of the wives came over and were actually pretty nice to me but continued to say about the noise last week and the fact that they were entitled to have a party outside the caravans.
Walking around the site for the last 7 years I've not seen this happen before.
Who is being unreasonable?

@scubadive 😂😂😂 chavvy and uncouth?! For having an afternoon/early evening bbq on a caravan site?! Jeez.

I think caravan holiday are not for you. You can't get away from people on them as they are all sited close together.

@scubadive It wasn't a group booking it was 2 families who both owned their vans and made friends. Is it also unreasonable for people to make friends on holiday? In addition to you feeling they shouldn't be allowed to take their dogs, extended relatives, PIL. Does your ideal 2 couple groups have a maximum child policy too? 2 kids allowed, anyone with 3 must book elsewhere.

@scubadive WTF! Chavvy and uncouth? BBQ late afternoon/early evening? With friends they've made whilst on holiday?

I think you and OP sound like a pair of stuck up snobs!

Chavvy and uncouth, you are on a caravan site not staying in the Ritz.
Howling at anyone thinking camping is a naice, elite way to holiday.

Cooking on 3 bbq’s, this is more than 2 families making friends and yes, campsites are for everyone’s enjoyment and if someone wants to sit outside their caravan and read in the afternoon they should be able to do so without having their enjoyment spoilt by a loud group gathering imposed on them on the next plot.

We had 2 families with 5 kids running around next to us for a week, plus lots if extras coming and going and their noise and activities dominated life for all the surrounding tents. Campsites in the summer holidays are for families to all enjoy, not for a loud group to impose their partying on others. This is why campsite tour operators have policies of not taking group bookings, for e aptly this reason.

*exactly

This type of holiday isn't for you @cherry1970. When our boys were younger, we did holidays in static vans for a few years and they weren't for me either. I'm fairly sensitive to noise too. Nobody was unreasonable when we were there, but I couldn't relax.

We then did a few years in a barn conversion in the Yorkshire Dales and it was heaven. Apart from the Dales being stunning, it was complete peace and quiet when you wanted it. The only noisy and nosey neighbours we had were sheep and they always made me giggle.

Whilst living in Cornwall is lovely, we now want to move to the Dales when we can. I love Yorkshire and the people.

Both I'm afraid. You've had it miraculously quiet so are ultra sensitive. But they are too aggressive (group + drink doesn't bode well Im guessing).
Sorry, could ask for a quieter pitch?

@scubadive are you the OP? you are literally the ONLY person who thinks the families in the other vans were being unreasonable to have a bbq at tea time chatting and letting the kids play. the OP even said they wernt doing anything wrong. it was around 7 when OP went to complain.

OP your issues are your issues and as other posters have said i think you need to seek help as it does sound like you have passed on your anxieties and social intolerance onto your dc's. im not going to say that your dc's must be bored because every child is different but my dc's are out with me and the hubby until 9pm every night on holiday our youngest is 4. we are barely in our caravan and if we were and a bunch of kids were playing outside my kids would go and make friends with the other kids and no doubt be trying to scrounge a burger. thats fine id go to the site shop if they were kind enough to give my children a burger and get them either more burgers and buns or whatever they are drinking. i have a low tolerance for noise when my anxiety is high but im a sociable person. if it was too high and noise got too much for me i would probably go for a walk on the beach tbh. if the beach is a little busy OP then take a little walk a bit further down and im sure you will find a quieter spot

Oh 5 kids between 2 families. How awful. Maybe you should have suggested they get a different hobby?
Family holidays are exactly what these people are enjoying. Most campsite group booking rules cover single sex or larger no children groups not family groups.
How dare people be inconsiderate by having a bbq late afternoon early evening. Ffs @scubadive this is not chavvy at all.

Chavvy and uncouth

Your site sounds posh compared to the one I stayed in last year in NI. Kids zooming around on mini motos, sectarian music blasting all hours, very aggressive dogs fighting and the parents were not drinking White Lightning on the veranda because no one had one but all sitting on the ground. I was terrified and left early, it shattered all of my caravan dreams [sadface]

What group booking policy? Its a private site. It's like making friends with your next door neighbour at home and inviting them to your bbq

There were two families who have got friendly or were already friends and in addition had ‘family arrive’ for the BBQ, hence the need for 3 BBQ’s. Why dont people read the ops post. This is not what a caravan site is for (entertaining extended family) and is exactly what we had to put up with all holiday to the detriment of our holiday and all the other families around the ‘group’ one of whose tents (right next to ours) became the central hub for their entertaining. Every day for 2 weeks. So is this ok or only if its some days and not others, if so where is the limit and who decides, is 3 couples ok but not 9 (as there were 18 adults on our last night) again who decides. No I'm sorry but if your actions are adversely affecting other people’s enjoyment then it is not ok. Just because the op likes peace and quiet this shouldn't preclude her from enjoying camping and just because one of her children is shy this doesn't mean the op has passed on her anxieties and they all need therapy. There are some crazy comments on here and some very inconsiderate selfish people. Families who want to holiday together and invite extended family to gatherings shoukd hire a villa.

Fir the record I have 4 children, it is nothing to do with the number if children but how they behave. Having cousins next to us who all got very excitable together is a completely different senario to how siblings behave.

So, scuba your needs trump theirs? I'm sure you can see your hypocrisy if you want to. 7pm. Not 11pm. People can have fun at 7pm without whispering. You're really being rather selfish yourself. But you won't see that. Selfish people don't. They just repeat their own views and needs.

So why dont you hire a villa or pitch your tent in the middle if nowhere? Or are your wishes more important than chavvy bbq users.

This is not what a caravan site is for (entertaining extended family)

Privately owned holiday homes, can be used just like that though. This isn't a campsite were you pitch a tent. These are holiday homes people have them as second homes. So just like at home they can have visitor's too.

I'm amazed that in seven years you haven't come across families that talk loudly or invite friends to have a bbq. Let us know where it is, it sounds great!

I sympathise with you. I wouldn't like that either. I'm also particularly sensitive to noise, as is my husband. We have had a touring caravan in the past and the good thing is that if it's a noisy site or noisy neighbours you can move on. We wouldn't have a static caravan for that very reason - you don't know how noisy or nice the neighbours are going to be. Some people wouldn't mind it - some like all the hustle and bustle, I like peace and quiet. We now book secluded cottages instead :)

@Scarletoharaseyebrows no hypocrisy, just people shouldn’t inflict themselves on others. Op reading peacefully isn’t affecting others so how would that be hypocrisy. You can have fun and socialise on a caravan site but I don’t agree that you should be inviting family from off site and grouping 3 BBQs together and thereby disturbing other peoples peace. It doesn’t matter if its 7pm, it can also be intimidating for others around. Clearly they were disturbing op as she went to complain, she wouldn't have done this if they were just chatting and being social. I’ve seen Brits behaving like this, you don't see the French or other Europeans, not where I’ve stayed. Yes socialising and sharing a meal together but not like a group of loud chavy Brits.

@scubadive the OP clearly suffers from noise anxiety, her daughter must go to bed at 7.30, which is ludicrous.

I would suggest that she gets the help she needs and stop inflicting her anxieties in others, it's not their problem.

It's also laughable that the caravan that she uses inflicted a barking dog all week, a party until one and she's angry with people at 6pm.

So up until she went over to complain for the second time the other problems had not been raised as the BBQ people decided on love and let live, her whining made them complain.... she should've kept quiet because they made her look a fool.

*live and let live

It’s really hard when places or neighbourhoods that we’ve been happy or comfortable with, change. It only takes a new family to rock up with different social habits and it can totally change a place. I completely sympathise but tbh I don’t think there’s much you can do if the new neighbours are loud in inconsiderate and maybe a bit common.
I don’t know if the caravan is movable but if it is maybe you couid find a more secluded site, or maybe you couid move it to a different spot on the site which might be quieter. X

as they have gone this time of year they must have paid a fair bit so unless its before 11pm expecting them to be quiet for your benefit is a bit of a piss take especially as you havent got and babies or toddlers,but i wouldnt have been shouted at over a situation that happened when you wasnt even in the van

but i do understand your annoyance as the situation would have annoyed me but i wouldnt have said anything as they have the right to enjoyment as well

we go to a diffrent caravan park every 4-6 weeks but we go term time and its always practically empty,there is no way i would go summer holidays or term time due to to many being around

@scubadive the family that arrived may also have booked a caravan on the site? OP said they were not doing anything wrong in her first post. she admits freely that she has a noise anxiety issue. i know what anxiety is like as suffer myself and anxiety doesnt care what is reasonable or not. OP was upset by NORMAL noise levels because OP has issues with noise sensitivity.... that is the OP's problem not anyone elses.
still wondering if YOU are the OP tbh