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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or are my holiday caravan neighbours...

292 replies

cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 15:01

Hi, would appreciate your views and understand I may be shot down...
We arrived at MIL's caravan yesterday, myself, hubby and 7 and 12 year old kids, we've been coming here since 2012 and it's always been a lovely peaceful place, mainly privately owned caravans and lodges (it's a nice place). Last year new neighbours brought the van behind ours and shattered our peace but not by doing anything wrong just by having loud voices, loud dogs and a granddaughter who actually isn't that loud! Once before I have asked them to be a bit quieter as I'd put the youngest to bed and they were disturbing her. They were fine.
There are now more new neighbours next door who maybe know the others or have got pally. Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans. I don't cope well with noise and after a couple of hours I went and politely asked them to quieten down a bit. One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant) the men all then turned on me complaining about the constantly barking dogs and the fact that last year someone apparently stayed in our van and had a party until 1am. I continued to try to explain until one of them shouted at me to go away and go to the office if I had a problem (I did think about doing this first but thought the adult thing to do would be to ask in person). So I did go to the office and completely broke down. A couple of the wives came over and were actually pretty nice to me but continued to say about the noise last week and the fact that they were entitled to have a party outside the caravans.
Walking around the site for the last 7 years I've not seen this happen before.
Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 18/08/2019 17:30

If it's day time then YABU. Night time is different. In the day time people are allowed to be sociable.

sanmiguel · 18/08/2019 18:44

You've been lucky so far OP to have a quiet site. Caravan parks are usually full of families over the summer and this equals noise.

We once lived on a road full of retired folk who occasionally had grand kids over but were generally just quiet residents to be around. I got used to never hearing much other than a lawnmower. Then as folk moved to care/downsized/died, the neighbourhood dynamic changed considerably and we had actual normal family noise. Imagine that! We moved to a rural quiet village where again you'd only ever hear the low hum of a vehicle or lawnmower. When we eventually moved back to be closer to family for childcare, the first day, as the van arrived on the drive to unload all our furniture, we both stood there looking at each other horrified at the sound of what must have been 6-10 different dogs barking in chorus from different ends of the street/block. We soon realised this wasn't the norm, just one of those bizarre ill-timed events that nearly sent us back in the direction we'd come from. We soon adapted to more noise, realising it was just normal families living in close proximity and either we got used to it, or moved to live in the middle of a field, with all the inconvenience that would bring for work/family life.

I wear earplugs a lot!!

OP, I think you know you're unreasonable and need to find a cottage break in future in such as the Peak District/Scotland where families there won't be enjoying their time in the same way and will be out walking etc!

Bellasblankexpression · 18/08/2019 19:12

How have you left it OP? Have you spoken to them since?

Aprillygirl · 18/08/2019 19:17

You sound fun OP Hmm These people are just enjoying their holiday. Unless they're being noisy late at night, what gives you the right to put a dampener on it?

Madfrogs · 18/08/2019 19:22

From the information they have given you it sounds like your own inlaws where the loud ones ruining the peaceful site previously. Parties and dogs barking all hours. Maybe why the previous owners have left and now you have normal families around expecting to make normal family noises. Fed up of your mils excessively loud caravan.

gamerwidow · 18/08/2019 19:22

You anxiety about the noise has caused you to be unreasonable. I have anxiety too so I can understand why you complained and how on edge you must be but your neighbours really weren’t doing anything wrong.
The PPs who suggested taking a bottle of wine over and apologising for starting your holiday off on the wrong foot have a good idea. Clear the air and put the incident behind you and enjoy the rest of your holiday. We all get things wrong sometimes.

ThisIsNotAIBUPeople · 18/08/2019 19:24

I get it OP, I would hate the noise too, but you can't expect people to be quiet in the middle of the day. We go camping and choose quieter sites, and always head for the quietest corner of the furthest field! This year we were exceptionally lucky as we had a while field to ourselves for the week - absolute bliss. I think you may have to find a new holiday destination unfortunately.

Original poster
cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 19:28

Thanks for the replies. I'm not sure how to reply individually but just wanted to explain a couple of things.
I didn't break down because of the noise it was the aggression that took me by surprise, the noise agitated me which is why I went but I was polite and didn't expect to be shouted at so much. This was very distressing.
I had no idea my SILs dogs were so annoying to them (one is a new rescue) or I would have kept quiet. They were here with SIL by the way.
My kids obviously do play and make noise but I was brought up to be considerate and would ask them to be quiet if they were disturbing people.
I realise this is not the place to holiday for me but it's always been quiet so it's just what I was used to. We come mainly for weekends, our actual holiday I choose wisely.
I understand about going over but I just have a problem apologising to people who were so rude and made me so upset. And I often hear the guy behind us shouting at his family, I don't think he's a particularly nice person so I'm not convinced he wouldn't just give out again
Thanks again for the replies (apart from the one calling me a horrible person 😂)

OP posts:
Dippypippy1980 · 18/08/2019 19:35

I hope you are able to salvage some of the holiday for your children’s sake.

The circumstances you have described are my experience of caravan parks from childhood. Parents having a bbq and a few drinks, kids running about playing. We didn’t do this type of holiday when I was a child, but we visited friends occasionally and it was great fun. We would have been horrified if someone complained. My parents friends would have been polite but dismissive.

I think you have blown this all out of proportion. Your children should be out playing with these children. There was no excuse for how rude the adults were, but you were completely unreasonable.

Could you check into a nice hotel for a few night?

LagunaBubbles · 18/08/2019 19:36

have a bit of an anxiety issue with noise unfortunately.

The anxiety drip feed. You know it's your issue then surely!

Original poster
cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 19:36

Also one family are out there now having a bbq and not being loud at all, last night it was more like a party and I was conscious my daughter would be going to bed shortly and would be upset if she couldn't get to sleep.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 18/08/2019 19:37

So you have a problem apologising but no problem going to the office and reporting people when you freely admit the problem is yours?

elasticfantastic · 18/08/2019 19:38

To be fair OP if you've been lucky enough to enjoy a peaceful site for 6 years I do understand why the new noisy neighbours are annoying for you.. I'm a creature of habit and I'd hate it too. Unfortunately as PP have said, although noisy they are not being unreasonable to have the bbq and make noise during the day time. They are BU for shouting at you regarding your SIL dog barking.. but you should tell your SIL about that because she needs to address that next time she goes.

BunnyRuddongton · 18/08/2019 19:42

last night it was more like a party and I was conscious my daughter would be going to bed shortly and would be upset if she couldn't get to sleep

What time are we talking? Most campsite seats have a no noise after 10 pm rule. It wouldn't be unreasonable to let a 7 year old stay up on a Saturday night.

Bellasblankexpression · 18/08/2019 19:46

I thought the bbq and the noise was in the afternoon? If it went on late then YWNBU if you complained but again, on a camp site or park you need to accept people aren’t going to be quiet for kids’ bedtimes etc

Blubluboo · 18/08/2019 19:47

Sorry but I think you are being unreasonable. My parents site their caravan on a site with all their friends. There is a no noise after 10pm rule but people are generally considerate anyway. Caravans are basically tins... they are thin and aren't great for people like you who get disturbed by normal noise.
If your daughter won't sleep with a bit of noise outside then it isn't the place for her either I'm afraid! With my parents friends, their grandkids just stay up later. It is the holidays after all!

Original poster
cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 19:48

WorraLiberty I didn't plan to go to the office but in the end they just kept shouting at me to go to the office and not talk to them so I did as I was in complete shock. I just stumbled over and said 'they just told me to come and talk to you' and broke down. I honestly don't think anyone has ever been so rude to me before. Really I can't comprehend doing that to anyone.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 18/08/2019 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nicknacky · 18/08/2019 19:51

So again, what did you expect the staff to do?

And it was afternoon according to your op.

Original poster
cherry1970 · 18/08/2019 19:51

Also unfortunately my daughter likes to be in bed by half 7 and doesn't like to stay up late.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 18/08/2019 19:52

You weren’t in “complete shock” at all. You just had your nose out of joint because they shouted at you, you are just trying to make it sound worse than it probably was.

Madfrogs · 18/08/2019 19:53

They wanted you to go away op. That’s why they resorted at shouting at you to go away to office if you had a problem.

After putting up with a late/early hours party, dogs barking and then you come over and basically tell them off for normal bbq’ing with friends on holiday they likely snapped at the bonkers lady who thinks it’s one rule for her caravan and another for everyone else.

If the office was actually open then it was nowhere near 10pm. After 5/6pm most offices shut and it’s then a security number to call for issues be that security wise or running out of gas etc

Nicknacky · 18/08/2019 19:53

You can’t expect silence because your kid goes to bed at 7.30😂

Bluntness100 · 18/08/2019 19:54

I do love it when a story changes, in the op it's the afternoon, now it's evening, in the op she's told once to leave and go to the office, now she's been repeatedly shouted at to go to the office, and now the man apparently abuses his family also.

Anything to get people to say oh you weren't unreasonable, poor you.

WorraLiberty · 18/08/2019 19:55

Again, your daughter's bedtime has literally zero to do with other people enjoying their holiday well before the hour of 10 o'clock!

It's not all about you OP, or your daughter.

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