AIBU or are my holiday caravan neighbours...

[cherry1970]

Hi, would appreciate your views and understand I may be shot down...
We arrived at MIL's caravan yesterday, myself, hubby and 7 and 12 year old kids, we've been coming here since 2012 and it's always been a lovely peaceful place, mainly privately owned caravans and lodges (it's a nice place). Last year new neighbours brought the van behind ours and shattered our peace but not by doing anything wrong just by having loud voices, loud dogs and a granddaughter who actually isn't that loud! Once before I have asked them to be a bit quieter as I'd put the youngest to bed and they were disturbing her. They were fine.
There are now more new neighbours next door who maybe know the others or have got pally. Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans. I don't cope well with noise and after a couple of hours I went and politely asked them to quieten down a bit. One of the guys swung round in my face and said how dare I ask them about noise when they have put up with my sister in laws dogs barking in our van for the last week (I had no idea about this but its not my responsibility and I considered it irrelevant) the men all then turned on me complaining about the constantly barking dogs and the fact that last year someone apparently stayed in our van and had a party until 1am. I continued to try to explain until one of them shouted at me to go away and go to the office if I had a problem (I did think about doing this first but thought the adult thing to do would be to ask in person). So I did go to the office and completely broke down. A couple of the wives came over and were actually pretty nice to me but continued to say about the noise last week and the fact that they were entitled to have a party outside the caravans.
Walking around the site for the last 7 years I've not seen this happen before.
Who is being unreasonable?

They shouldn’t have shouted. But I would have been really irked to be told to pipe down during the afternoon doing nothing more than having a BBQ.

You need to talk to your sister in law and MIL about all the people in your van being quiet before you row in. I bet the barking dog was an absolute joy.

Yes but if uou know you have mental health issues with noise op, you cannot make it other people's problem. You need to take personal responsibility. Don't go to places like busy caravan parks in the school holidays, go off somewhere quiet when you can't cope.

It's not ok to say I have issues and as such others need to behave accordingly. It's you that needs to change your behaviour. Not them.

🌸if you are sensitive to noise it must be difficult for you,and to pp who said op should go somewhere quieter,she said it has been peaceful there for several years.
Looks like you might have to find somewhere else to stay up or try to use the caravan at a quieter time?
Try to chat to the neighbours and get on with them,you might find it less annoying if they are on good terms with you?
Hopefully it will quieter down after the weekend,end.🌸🌸🌸

I was in shock from the shouting in my face!

I think it’s hard because it was a previously quiet site. It’s bad luck with the new neighbors but they are doing anything wrong. Is there anything you can take to deal with the noise anxiety? It’s a shame to stop the holidays altogether.

EVERYONE seems to have "anxiety" nowadays. I appreciate some people really do suffer which is awful but as soon as something doesn't go in the direction they want... out comes the anxiety line

Even though, I guess with the shouting, maybe it will be awkward now.

What did you actually expect the office staff to do?

You cried and broke down a few times over normal daytime noise .
I'm not being snarky but I think you should go talk to your GP to be honest

Also I had no idea about the barking dogs or the party so didn't realise they had been putting up with noise themselves.

Well, it would be a great shame not to go again. Perhaps this would be an ideal time to address your anxiety with your GP. Otherwise you’ll be holidaying in, actually I can’t think of anywhere that’s got no people talking and socialising and kids playing.

You said they told you about the noise but you considered it irrelevant and still went to the office.

YABU.

They shouldn’t have shouted in your face. I hate being shouted at (reasonably or unreasonably) and probably would have cried in your situation too!

It’s unreasonable to expect a caravan park to be quiet during the day. The sound of people having fun and children playing is part of the charm of going on holiday :)

Ok I really don't agree with him shouting in your face. As other had said they probably will have been pissed off about all the house coming from yours previously and then to be told to be quiet when they weren't doing anything wrong was there tipping point.

This maybe unpopular suggestion, But maybe go over to them with bottle wine and apologise, just say you've had tough week and were wrong to ask them.

it'll break the tension that's now unbearable, and you never know they may invite you to join them(you don't have to accept) and your DC might enjoy playing with theirs too.

I think the bottle of wine and apology is a good idea. Make a fresh start.

Op, do your kids get to run about and play?

Ywbu telling people to be quiet in the afternoon, especially on a campsite. It was extremely cheeky and entitled of you to have made them feel uncomfortable when they were simply trying to enjoy a completely normal activity. I can understand why they were annoyed.

Do you have ear defenders?

I have a bit of an anxiety issue with noise unfortunately.

Then - and I say this as someone who has anxiety - it is up to you to learn to deal with it or manage it, not for others to have to tiptoe round.

Why were your SIL's dogs in your caravan? And who had the party? Sounds like you are the unreasonable ones.

When you say ‘come down’ do you mean from the moon?
That’s the only place I can think of that is really quiet?
Or a mountain somewhere?

OP I think a remote holiday cottage might be more suitable for you. Caravan sites are for people kicking back and having fun on holiday, not sitting in reverent silence tutting at each other. Consideration is important but you were really ott, especially during the daytime. Why didn't you just go out?

Make sure you report back to your MIL that you have had complaints from the neighbours about the dogs.

Caravan sites are noisy places generally. Ds doesn’t cope with noise so we always ask for caravans a bit away from everything but even then you can’t guarantee it. Especially not if the weather is nice

What time was it?? I can't see anything about the time, that's really relevant. (Apologies if I've missed it.)

Caravan sites are noisy places and bedtimes tend to be later. Maybe not the type of holiday for you anymore if you're struggling with noise.

Timing from the OP's first post:-

Yesterday afternoon they had family arrive and they all joined together with 3 bbqs going and 5 kids running around in the grassy area between our caravans.

I think your reaction to it was a bit OTT to be honest OP.
Sounds like you’ve been lucky for six years but if people are staying in the other caravans you can’t expect them to all stay shut up inside because you’re anxious about noise.
Having a bbq with friends and letting the kids run about is all totally normal behaviour for during the day.
I’m sorry they got uptight with you but it sounds like they’ve put up with a lot over the last week and you coming over was the final straw.
I’m not sure what exactly you think was unreasonable about their behaviour which made you go over? Do you never have bbqs etc? So you expect everyone to be quiet during the day and night so you don’t realise they are there?
I know it’s free but if you’re that anxious around noise I would start looking for somewhere very isolated for your next holiday as this isn’t going to work for you anymore.