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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disgusted with DP?

183 replies

lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 16:51

About to leave for work this morning, early around 7am. Just as I'm looking for my work shoes upstairs ds1 wakes up and calls for me. So I go in to see him and tell him mummy has to go to work so daddy will be in in a minute to get him out of his cotbed.

I go into our room (where ds2 still sleeps, in his cot but still in our room)
And DP is watching porn on his phone and wanking under the covers.

Obviously I'm mad, 2 kids awake and in need of getting out of bed, ds2 was awake for a while as I could hear him while I was getting ready.
So instead of getting up he's just left the boys in their cots while he has a wank and with ds2 in the same room!!!!!!

I'm fucking livid, I couldn't even look at him when I came home. All he had to say this morning when I said What the hell? Was "oh I thought you had left already" what fucking difference does that make??????

OP posts:
AyBeeCee10 · 28/06/2019 16:53

Yanbu. Pathetic I would be so furious.

isupposeitsverynice · 28/06/2019 16:53

yanbu. that's grim.

AnathemaPulsifer · 28/06/2019 16:54

Yes, that’s pretty shit parenting. I’d be cross too.

Baritriwsahys · 28/06/2019 16:54

So you are annoyed about?

The porn?

The wanking?

The fact that he didn't get up to help with DC? (disgusted would not really describe that though)

Princessfaffalot · 28/06/2019 16:55

YANBU that’s so disgusting.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 28/06/2019 16:57

Wanking with DS2 in the same room is pretty grim.

VivienneHolt · 28/06/2019 16:57

Yanbu. It’s not the wanking itself, it’s the fact that he was having one when his kids needed him to be parenting. I also think it’s pretty gross to watch porn with a child in the room, but the age of the child is probably relevant because presumably your second son is too young to realise / be affected?

It’s just shit, selfish parenting really.

Nothingsuitsmelikeasuit · 28/06/2019 16:58

🤮

Yanbu

Bluntness100 · 28/06/2019 17:02

Well there's a prince amongst men, right there.

Jesus Christ, what a sorry excuse for a bloke. Who the hell does that. 😧

Mummyshark2019 · 28/06/2019 17:05

Omg. That is absolutely gross. I would be fuming. I don't think I could trust the kids with that sorry excuse of a father.

lovelilies · 28/06/2019 17:05

Christ that is a bit grim. Could he not curb his urges and look after his fucking kids?

WhatsInAName19 · 28/06/2019 17:06

I don't think it's gross to have sex/masturbate in the same room as a baby or toddler per se. Otherwise new parents with cots in their rooms would never have sex in their own beds, and back in the day when huge families shared a 2 up 2 down...well they wouldn't have been huge families. But if the child is awake, that's utterly grim. I can't imagine doing anything sexual while I had a baby awake in their cot next to me, no matter how young. It's really stomach churning to think about.

How you feel about the porn industry is another issue. As is the fact that he should have been getting up with his children to take care of them, not having a wank.

DickAmbush · 28/06/2019 17:06

How could he even think about being in the mood for a wank with a baby/small tot in the room?! Jesus.

Quartz2208 · 28/06/2019 17:06

His excuse is worse as he thought he was in sole charge of children

There is a time and a place this was neither

Baritriwsahys · 28/06/2019 17:08

Sorry I missed that the child in the cot was also awake.

SirVixofVixHall · 28/06/2019 17:15
Shock I would throw DH out if he watched porn, never mind the wanking with an awake small child in the room. Wanking not an issue obvs, but there is a time and a place, and while watching porn in the morning, with both children awake, is very clearly not it. 🤢
Bluerussian · 28/06/2019 17:21

That is absolutely dreadful, I'm so sorry you had to witness it.

Everyone else on this thread has expressed how I feel about it.

Where do you go from here?

carla1983 · 28/06/2019 17:21

Nooo. This is really grim.

Millie2018 · 28/06/2019 17:27

Christ on a bike. Absolutely awful.
LTB.

NewFoneWhoDis · 28/06/2019 17:29

Bad enough to discreetly crack one out when baby is fast asleep in the cot but when the baby is awake, presumably waiting for daddy to lift him out of the cot, presumably looking at daddy waiting to be lifted out, and there he is openly doing it.

Eugh. Obviously he does this often as soon as you leave then if his only objection was that he thought you had left.
Double eugh.

IceQueenCometh · 28/06/2019 17:30

In the same room as DS?? Ewwww.

That's so self centered. How can he do that with a child there? Wtf was he thinking? That's grim beyond words

InsertFunnyUsername · 28/06/2019 17:30

Yeah thats grim.

Opossooom · 28/06/2019 17:31

Oh god OP I can’t even begin to explain how this would make me feel. 🤢

ArgusFilchsCat · 28/06/2019 17:31

Grim. Yanbu OP. Time and a place, this is neither. I'm also not a fan of porn so that bit would gross me out on its own. Confused

user87382294757 · 28/06/2019 17:38

How old are the DC? That is pretty horrible.

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