To be disgusted with DP?

[lizzlebizzle33]

About to leave for work this morning, early around 7am. Just as I'm looking for my work shoes upstairs ds1 wakes up and calls for me. So I go in to see him and tell him mummy has to go to work so daddy will be in in a minute to get him out of his cotbed.

I go into our room (where ds2 still sleeps, in his cot but still in our room)
And DP is watching porn on his phone and wanking under the covers.

Obviously I'm mad, 2 kids awake and in need of getting out of bed, ds2 was awake for a while as I could hear him while I was getting ready.
So instead of getting up he's just left the boys in their cots while he has a wank and with ds2 in the same room!!!!!!

I'm fucking livid, I couldn't even look at him when I came home. All he had to say this morning when I said What the hell? Was "oh I thought you had left already" what fucking difference does that make??????

I just don't know what to do, I feel sick to my stomach that this is what goes on when I've left for work. Very much doubt it was the first time.

It's not the wanking that's a problem it's the whole situation. I can't even look at him, thank fuck he's at work. What the hell do I do now.

I don't even want to talk to him about it.

Old enough to chat to I see

You know you need a longer conversation about this, don't you?

But presumably dc2 couldn't see him if he was doing it under the covers and therefore totally unaware of what going on? And were the kids shouting for attention or just happy in the cots? Obv not acceptable to ignore kids who are shouting for a parent because they need looking after.

Grim. Dh doesn't even wank in front of the dog.

What a grimy little man.

What lovely first memories for your young DC

Hope he launders the sheets. It's the least he can do.

Oh that’s really grim op.

I think I’d have to ask him to go stay elsewhere while I worked through my thoughts. I cannot begin to imagine how angry I would be if dd’s dad did this.

You’re right, it’s not the wanking per se, it’s the whole situation. Who the fuck does that?

God I would get the ick after that :(

Dcs are 2 and 1, and no ds2 was oblivious as to what was going on but that's not the issue.

To top it all of he was supposed to get up early and put the bins out as he forgot last night. Just checked and they are still 3/4 full so he obviously didn't do it, more important things to do.

Now we have to have a full stinky recycling bin for 2 weeks

OMG that's fecked up. I was open mouthed when I read this, a child awake waiting on Dad in the same room, and I'm sure he wasn't 'normal faced' while wanking himself, so your kid would have been aware of something going on. The other kid in a cot bed, do they have sides on them ? if not then that kid could have easily walked in to the room ? Jesus the thoughts of him there at 7am with the porn ready to go and half way through it when you walked in. I'm not the type who thinks having a wank is bad, but when kids are waiting to be fed, there's a time and place. Dirty fecker....

So sorry lizzle - this would really upset me. It's totally grim.

God so he put having a wank watching porn over feeding the kids and putting out the bins......

I think that's absolutely grim. I won't have sex with a pet in the room! Nobody should be doing something like that with a baby or child in the room. Hiding under the covers, looking at porn and having a wank, whilst you're busy getting the kids ready is pretty pathetic as well.

Both DC in cot beds with sides on, and ds1 was calling for me so he was in need of a parent to come to him. Quick want more important to DP, how can I ever look him in the face again?

I don’t think I could ever fancy my DH again if I found him like this.

Go to town on his sorry arse and show him this thread if he tries to minimise.

I agree OP that would seriously make me feel ick when i looked at him, selfish tosser.

He was on his phone? Presumably watching porn?

Not only masturbating, but watching porn in front of children, no matter how young they may be, is child abuse.

Doing this when you know there's a child awake and waiting for you is pretty horrible. Doing it with one in the same room while they are awake is disgusting. I'd be devastated by this because I just wouldn't know how to get past it.

It wouldn’t be the wanking that would bother me, it would be the fact that a child is awake in the room and the other one is shouting for him. I would be beyond disgusted, I would be flaming incensed. Total lack of care for his children’s needs.
I wouldn’t even be able to advise you on what to say to him because it’s so revolting.
I’m so sorry OP for you and your kids

Jesus Christ. I couldn’t even fathom masterbating in that situation. What a dickhead. I’d be furious. There’s a time and a place and that wasn’t it.