Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be disgusted with DP?

183 replies

lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 16:51

About to leave for work this morning, early around 7am. Just as I'm looking for my work shoes upstairs ds1 wakes up and calls for me. So I go in to see him and tell him mummy has to go to work so daddy will be in in a minute to get him out of his cotbed.

I go into our room (where ds2 still sleeps, in his cot but still in our room)
And DP is watching porn on his phone and wanking under the covers.

Obviously I'm mad, 2 kids awake and in need of getting out of bed, ds2 was awake for a while as I could hear him while I was getting ready.
So instead of getting up he's just left the boys in their cots while he has a wank and with ds2 in the same room!!!!!!

I'm fucking livid, I couldn't even look at him when I came home. All he had to say this morning when I said What the hell? Was "oh I thought you had left already" what fucking difference does that make??????

OP posts:
iseveryusernametakenorwhat · 28/06/2019 18:17

It'd be over for me. I'd never want to have sex with him again. That's fucking grim.

GreigLaidlawsbarofsoap · 28/06/2019 18:17

Having a wank, no issue per se.
Wank with 1 year old child in room, bit grim but can see how it might happen, under covers and child unaware. Not great tho. I certainly couldn't feel massively sexy about that.
Wank with older child calling for attention - crap crap selfish parenting.
Wank instead of putting bins out - instant death. Grin

It's all just minging and yuk really isn't it. Putting his own needs in front of young kids. I'd also be thinking - does he often not bother to see to his young kids when you are not there? I would feel they just aren't the same priority to him. How long do they need to call/shout/cry before he goes to them??

PositiveVibez · 28/06/2019 18:18

Revolting is a very good word to describe your DH.

Original poster
lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 18:20

I am so upset, I have no idea what to do all I know is I feel sick about the whole thing.
We have been together almost 15 years, I don't know how we can work through this.

OP posts:
RoryGillmoresEvilTwin · 28/06/2019 18:22

Oh god, that's pretty awful.
I dont think I could fancy a man who has a wank in that situation.
Beyond grim 🤢

ScreamingLadySutch · 28/06/2019 18:22

Is he DP or DH?

Newschapter · 28/06/2019 18:23

If my dh did that in front of my child, I'd leave.

I work with abused youths, the memories they have from such a young age have affected their lives so much.

I'm not saying this to frighten or upset you, but he really has behaved shockingly.

rosemarysalted · 28/06/2019 18:24

Grim.
With a child in the room.
No. That'd be it for me.
He'd have to go. Angry

placemats · 28/06/2019 18:25

That's grim. Especially the 'I though you left already'

Like seriously I rarely if ever say this. But you need to consider relationship counselling.

Kick him out of bed in future. I'd not leave the house unless he is downstairs making the breakfast and at least me a cup of tea. If he can't do those simple tasks, then give stern warnings.

He's probably already on dating sites.

placemats · 28/06/2019 18:26

Actually, on a minute of reflection, leave him.

Original poster
lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 18:26

DP not DH

OP posts:
Sparklfairy · 28/06/2019 18:27

He's probably already on dating sites. bit of a leap Hmm

Its the fact he thought you'd left that proves he knows it was wrong.

TeachesOfPeaches · 28/06/2019 18:27

Was the volume on loud for the porn?

Original poster
lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 18:28

He can sleep on the sofa tonight that's for sure. And I'll be getting the kids up before I go to work tomorrow

OP posts:
placemats · 28/06/2019 18:31

Don't get the kids up. They'll only run around the house before dad has his morning wank and porn fest.

And I'll say it again, as I knew a woman who had the same problem, he's probably already on dating sites.

So if you kick him out he will have someone lined up to step in as step mum.

Tingface · 28/06/2019 18:33

Isn’t this considered a safeguarding red flag?

DishingOutDone · 28/06/2019 18:34

But you need to consider relationship counselling in god's name why?

WizardOfAus · 28/06/2019 18:34

What are you going to say to him,OP?

Treefloof · 28/06/2019 18:35

Jeez that's revolting. Neither time or place for it. Why tf would any man even want to wank in front of an awake child. Gods sake.

Sparklfairy · 28/06/2019 18:38

placemats just because that happened to one woman doesn't mean it's a universal fact. Men and women can wank and still be in committed relationships. What you're saying has nothing to do with the thread, the point is he's putting himself before his children and wanking in front of them, not that he's cheating.

BummyKnocker · 28/06/2019 18:38

Eugghhh, how could he prioritise and keep his mind on exercising his todger when his child is awake in the room?

Original poster
lizzlebizzle33 · 28/06/2019 18:39

I have no clue what I will say to him

OP posts:
Yousicktwistedfruit · 28/06/2019 18:41

That really is fucking grim and revolting what kind of man does that in front of their child. He’s a selfish bastard who thinks having a wank to porn is more important than sorting out his kids. I would leave him OP that’s knocked me sick 🤢

Newschapter · 28/06/2019 18:42

Tingface

Yes, absolutely.

placemats · 28/06/2019 18:46

Sparklfairy will gladly take your partner on off your hands

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.