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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not buy my dd something she wants

181 replies

ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:32

Because I think it’s naff!

She’s only 5, and she want a jojo bow like her friends in school.

I know it’s not the end if the world if she does have one, but I just think they’re so horribly naff and tacky!

OP posts:
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hidinginthenightgarden · 20/02/2019 20:33

I hate these. Could you buy a similar but not quite as big one?

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 20/02/2019 20:33

Meh, let her be a kid.

formerbabe · 20/02/2019 20:34

Just get her one! They wouldn't be my first choice either but my dd was so pleased when I got one for her.

SnuggyBuggy · 20/02/2019 20:35

It won't do her any harm and I doubt she'll still be wearing it at her wedding

Fraula · 20/02/2019 20:35

Children love tacky stuff... think you may have to get used to it a bit over the next few years, I'm afraid!

chocolatebuttonsandcheese · 20/02/2019 20:35

The alternative is she's disappointment and feels left out? Totally with you I'd rate expensive and you can't afford it but if you can afford the £5 for it then why not?

LollyHolly24 · 20/02/2019 20:35

No way would i be buying one for my daughter. The are chavvy and tacky. She will get over it.

Soubriquet · 20/02/2019 20:36

Buy her one

We all had naff things as kids. I bet our parents thought the same.

My dd has some but she has the cheaper alternatives. Managed to get 5 for £5 instead of £10 a bow

Would that be an ideal compromise?

Whatsnewpussyhat · 20/02/2019 20:36

Get a cheapo one from home bargains.

Michaelbaubles · 20/02/2019 20:36

Go to B&M and get one for a couple of quid. They seem to be going out of fashion now anyway so she’ll wear it a couple of times and then you can keep it for parties etc.

Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:38

Argh I’m torn between chocolate’s post and lolly’s 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:43

I feel really bad but I really don’t want to buy her one!!

I’m pretty relaxed with most things she wears but I can’t help thinking of the families I see on the train at 11am, all girls with jojo bows, parents with cans of carling.

OP posts:
Averysmallcasserole · 20/02/2019 20:43

I’m not a fan but if she genuinely likes w with pocket money or save up and go somewhere with her to hand over the money herself- she may choose something else !

Zoflorabore · 20/02/2019 20:48

My dd has just turned 8 and is very much in the know about what's "in" and jojo bows were massive here around 18/24 months ago. Nobody at her school wears them now so that was a waste.
I would get the mini pack from B and M which are around £7 for 7 and are quite cute and not as garish.
When they hit our school we had a newsletter about them as some were that massive that they were obstructing other children's views in assembly etc.
It seemed the bigger the better which look silly on the younger ones.

Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:48

avery If she’s using her own money she won’t buy anything at all 😂... I’ll try it!

OP posts:
BeautyWasTheBeast · 20/02/2019 20:49

We got 3 for £5 from Claire's...I refused to pay full price.she also has a cheapie one and you really can't tell the difference.

DD has a lot of hair so they don't look huge and chavvy on her.

Over the next few years there is going to be a lot of tacky plastic tat she is going to want....so pick your battles. (E.g lol dolls, hairdorables, hatchimals, anything unicorn, squishies, slime.....)

Bebe03 · 20/02/2019 20:49

Oh think you should get it for her- she has the rest of her life to worry about what others think.

I love looking back at tacky clothes I used to wear, maybe not let your own judgements effect her choices at such a young age?

CheddarAndCrackers · 20/02/2019 20:52

You should get her one. Being (what seems to be) the only one without something is incredibly upsetting at that age and other children do use it as "you can't sit with us because you don't have..." etc.

Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:53

Yeah you’re right! I’m being massively U!!

I’ve never really had to deal with cheap tat with ds

OP posts:
UserUser123 · 20/02/2019 20:53

My daughter wore these when she was 5/6.

She must be a tacky chav and I must swig cans of Carling on the train in the morning then I guess 🤦🏽‍♀️

KurriKurri · 20/02/2019 21:00

At 5 I'd let her make her own choices of what she'd like to wear - and I'd tell her she looked nice so she feels her choices are valid. She probably thinks your clothes are naff and wouldn't want to wear them - but you are two different people. If you can't wear a giant bow in your hair when you are five, when can you ? - It's an age when people are pretty forgiving of your fashion faux pas.

And in a year's time she'll probably have moved on to something else - and no one in the world will remember and point at you and whisper behind your back that you are the woman who let her child wear a big bow, and therefore naff by association - because it doesn't matter. At all.

Enidblyton1 · 20/02/2019 21:00

In the scheme of things, it could be a lot worse OP (and undoubtedly will be as she gets older!).
My DD5 was given a huge rainbow coloured one at a party. She wore it with pride for a few weeks and has now forgotten about it. I don’t think it looked too awful alongside her cashmere jumper and liberty print dress Grin. Perhaps if you let your DD team hers with a boob tube and very short skirt she might look a bit tacky, but otherwise I wouldn’t worry.

Theimpossiblegirl · 20/02/2019 21:01

I've seen lots of girls wearing them and none of their parents were swilling down cans of lager at 11am...

Witchend · 20/02/2019 21:02

Yes... and no.

My dm tended to categorise anything that was "in" as either "tacky" or "not worth the money" or "you're too sensible to want that silly thing."

Being a relatively compliant child I tended to agree out loud... but did feel I missed out. And as a child who slightly struggled socially, it did mean at times I felt on the outside at times when things like that were being compared.

However I think they're vastly over priced. Why don't you go on ebay and by a pack of 50 hair slides for about £2.50 and some lengths of ribbon and spend a afternoon making your own? They're easy enough to do, and she can personalise it the way she wants.

GunpowderGelatine · 20/02/2019 21:03

My FD is 5 and no way would I buy her one they are ugly AF and chavvy plus they're overpriced and impractical.