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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not buy my dd something she wants

181 replies

ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 20:32

Because I think it’s naff!

She’s only 5, and she want a jojo bow like her friends in school.

I know it’s not the end if the world if she does have one, but I just think they’re so horribly naff and tacky!

OP posts:
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TwinkleTits70 · 20/02/2019 22:47

I'm in my 40's and still mourn the fact my Mother wouldn't let me have a Ra-ra skirt probably didn't want to have to iron the bugger tbh. Same with Girls World.

You could be traumatising her for life OP Wink

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2019 22:49

No trauma if some lovely mnetter sent one as she’d heard mummy was a bit mean 😁

Seriously op I’m awaiting a pm and can post tomorrow....

PoohBearsHole · 20/02/2019 22:49

And it’s pink with Shock sparkles

Allyballybeee · 20/02/2019 22:50

I’m pretty relaxed with most things she wears but I can’t help thinking of the families I see on the train at 11am, all girls with jojo bows, parents with cans of carling

How many times have you witnessed this?

What’s your idea of tacky and what defines you as being a snob?

I’m genuinely intrigued Grin

Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 22:53

newly it was coming out of barrow in furness

OP posts:
DorothyZbornak · 20/02/2019 22:53

I'm with you OP. I think they look incredibly tacky, and stupidly expensive for what they are

jarhead123 · 20/02/2019 22:55

They aren't expensive, I'd get her one. Let her be a kid and join in. Not like she is asking for something costing hundreds. A small cost to you but a big thing for her

Original poster
ScafellPoke · 20/02/2019 22:56

Quite often actually ally

I think I’m a snob because I like to go against the grain on what most people like. But I’m not judging.

OP posts:
teainthemorning · 20/02/2019 22:58

It is one of life’s pleasures for me to buy the GC all the tacky tat their hearts desire......
Nothing beats an hour in the pound shop / Claire’s with them and saying “yes” to every “can I have this please grandma?”.
Grin

LaurieMarlow · 20/02/2019 23:00

Is anyone else thinking...

if you don’t want to be seen as the parent who drinks cans of carling on the train in the morning, just don’t drink cans of carling on the train in the morning.

Or is that too simplistic Blush

JustOneShadeOfGrey · 20/02/2019 23:04

They're awful. Tacky. I'm grateful for having boys!!

Mind you, I have the same battle regarding haircuts. I have never given in and I will never give in. When they leave school and start paying for their own naffness, that's a different matter.

Don't give in. Divert her with something a bit more tasteful.

LaurieMarlow · 20/02/2019 23:04

I think I’m a snob because I like to go against the grain on what most people like

Disliking jojo bows is not going against the grain of what middle class, mumsnet types think at all.

It’s just one of those (fairly superficial) things people use to signal their tribe.

MitziK · 20/02/2019 23:05

As the parent of a child who would only come shopping with me (at the age of five) if she could wear a purple and black 'evil fairy' dress, black and green striped tights, a pair of glittery velvet black Halloween bat headboppers, a set of bat wings and roller boots, all I can say is be grateful she just wants a big bow that she'll get bored with after a couple of months. She also spent an entire year at Secondary school being constantly told to take off a pair of cat ears and turned up on September 5th one year with bright turquoise hair she'd decided to bleach and colour whilst I was at work.

She's now a fashion designer.

Goldenbear · 20/02/2019 23:07

They're pretty 'tacky', my DD wanted one at the start of year 2 so five but I tried to avoid getting one as she is quite small and the large ones looked ridiculous. She has thick hair but at that time had a longish Bob so she could only wear a huge one with her hair half up, that coupled with delicate features meant she had more bow than face! I think Jo Jo being quite old and the type of face she has suits them. My DD would get upset over the fact that she didn't look like her with them on- she wanted to be blonde, she wanted to have straight thin hair and she has thickish hair that is never really straight.

Now she is 7 and at a different school where the girls think they're not in, she wants a pair of DM boots instead that are glittery- I can't help but like that a bit more even though I know someone will say that is tacky.

amilosingitor · 20/02/2019 23:08

My girls wear them. I like them. One of them has super curly hair that I can't do anything with so the bows are kind of her "thing" to finish it off.

I say buy the bow!

Pk37 · 20/02/2019 23:09

I held off for ages but gave in at the end of last year or maybe abit before .
It makes dd happy and they actually don’t look that bad and most of her friends have them so she doesn’t feel left out .
I refuse to buy anything Red Nose Day for school though but that’s a different thread ..

WeLovePeaSoup · 20/02/2019 23:10

@MitziK is she famous?

allwalkedout · 20/02/2019 23:11

I bought my dd (after big sad puppy eyes and relentless asking) a smaller sized plain coloured one. We use it to hold back some curls from her face when she has her hair loose. I can almost bring myself to say it doesn’t look tooooooo bad...

Weedinosaurus · 20/02/2019 23:14

@goldenbear my dd also has glittery dms. She LOVES them. They’re great.

Chickychoccyegg · 20/02/2019 23:15

just get her one, she'll probably only wear it a few times, the fad had definitely passed where we live, for ages everyone wore them, noweveryone e refuses to wear them, we are now krft with a load of horrible over priced bows (you can buy them cheaper now since popularity had died down)

Goldenbear · 20/02/2019 23:20

Weedinosauras, she's desperate for them and I can see why, she saw them when we were buying her school boots last weekend, just need to be convinced as they're a bit more than a Jo Jo bow and I need to make sure she wants to wear them in the spring!

Grannypants123 · 20/02/2019 23:22

Everyone has their own opinions on what’s naff/tacky. No one should be judged for what they wear. Ever. I think the comment that was made about the cans of Carling was inappropriate, it was kind of insinuating that any child who wears a big bow has parents like this.

My idea of naff/tacky is private registration plates. They’re hideous IMO.

DwayneDibbly · 21/02/2019 07:51

@ScafellPoke Yes, working class here with my doctorate and my chip on my shoulder Grin(and I accept that I do!). I just find the idea that someone can be deemed a chav, and therefore somehow inferior, based on what they wear, to be a bit ridiculous.

If someone's drinking cans on the train at 11am then that's also somehow chavvy, but if it was a bottle of Prosecco on the way to a girly weekend, or to the races, then that would be perfectly acceptable. Hmm

It's just a bow. I owned a pair of Kappa tracksuit bottoms and a Naf Naf jacket, and it didn't ruin my life the perm did.

NutElla5x · 21/02/2019 08:33

I must lead a very sheltered life because I have never once seen parents swilling cans of Carling on the train,or anywhere else in public come to that,with their kids (bow or bowless) in tow. I guess I must just live in a more upmarket part of the country than you daahling.
Put aside your sniffy views op and make daughter smile by buying her a bloody bow,you're only 5 once after all.

PengAly · 21/02/2019 08:37

Good god, its just a bow and she is only 5, let her be a kid and join in with her friends.
And stop being so judgmental, yes OP you are being judgmental, you keep saying you aren't but you very obviously are- you used the words tacky, naff and agreed with PPs who stereotyped families because of a goddamn bow. Also the use of Chavvy is incredibly mean spirited, OP why on earth are you calling for chavs to be "proud" when you see the way they are spoken about on here? Also, if you look up the history, Chav its used as a derogatory term- why are people supposed to be proud of something that is considered an insult Hmm