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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boxing day at MIL's

294 replies

MilStrikesAgain789 · 13/12/2018 14:37

DH has told Mil that we will go to her house for boxing day as a compromise for not going on Christmas day.
The problem is her house is almost a 2 hour drive away in the car with alot of traffic and my 12 month old DC hates being in his car seat. He can last about an hour in the car by distracting him with some peppa pig but that only works for so long and he gets really upset and starts to cry alot. Nothing seems to calm him down, tried milk, water, food, toys, singing but he hates being confined for that long (he hates his pram for that reason as well). Most of the journey is on a motorway or stuck in traffic so not alot of opportunity to pull over and take him out of the seat to calm him down, and once he has calmed down he is very reluctant to get back in the car seat. He is also worse when the car isn't moving, so the traffic makes him more upset.
WIBU to suggest my DH goes on his own so that my DC doesn't have to have a long journey which he will hate and cry for alot of the journey. Or any suggestions on how to calm a crying baby while traveling on a motorway or stuck in traffic. Mil is really keen on us all going saying how much she is looking forward to it.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 13/12/2018 14:40

Phenergan.

That’s probably not going to win me an mothering prizes but got us through quite a number of dodgy journeys. Both Dc are now healthy, non addicted adults.

LizzieSiddal · 13/12/2018 14:40

Could you meet somewhere half way?

SassitudeandSparkle · 13/12/2018 14:41

One person sits in the back with the baby and keeps him occupied/talks to him. Is that possible?

My own DD was similar as a baby tbh, that's what we did. It improved once she could see out of the window!

It does sound like a bit of an excuse to get out of going tbh OP - is that the case?

ShatnersBassoon · 13/12/2018 14:43

Traffic is unlikely to be a problem on Boxing Day. Could you stop overnight to save so many hours on the road in one day?

I think it's worth the hassle to make your MIL happy.

Deeedeeee · 13/12/2018 14:44

Can one of you sit in the back with your DC to distract/play/read/give snacks? My eldest was terrible in the car at this age so I hated going anywhere just me and him, but was easier with someone sitting with him in the back. Have a big bag of things to distract and entertain, don't show them all at once.
Mil probably would be disappointed not to see you and her grandchild.

GhostSauce · 13/12/2018 14:45

Can't she come to you?

Lydiaatthebarre · 13/12/2018 14:45

I think your MIL would be hugely disappointed not to see the baby. As a pp said there is unlikely to be heavy traffic on Boxing Day, so the car will be moving most of the time.

LizzieSiddal · 13/12/2018 14:45

Matilda that drug can’t be used for babies. Plus it’s common side effects are, according to NHS...

“Common side effects include feeling sleepy, headaches, nightmares and feeling dizzy, restless or confused.“

Original poster
MilStrikesAgain789 · 13/12/2018 14:46

LizzieSiddal she wants us to go to hers so we can stay a few nights at her house

SassitudeandSparkle I sit in the back with him trying to distract him but it doesn't really calm him down.

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 13/12/2018 14:48

Set off really early to avoid the traffic, and stop for breakfast on the way?

Or leave at naptime - that was always my strategy!

DS2 used to hate the car and scream after 5 minutes. PILs live 3.5 hours away by motorway - stopping halfway at a decent services for him to have a break and a run around was our saviour.

fluffydinosaur · 13/12/2018 14:49

is it possible to time the journey around a nap so that your baby will sleep some or all of the way? this is what we try to do as also have family a few hours away and a restless toddler. it would probably be a bit harsh to suggest husband goes alone

Santababyclaus · 13/12/2018 14:49

Could mil come to you? (my dd was the same on long journeys at that age)

theworldistoosmall · 13/12/2018 14:49

Go during his nap time. Or really early in the morning so he's still sleeping and wakes up in the car. He can have breakfast in the car. Not ideal but better than screaming.

What makes you think there will be loads of traffic?

Original poster
MilStrikesAgain789 · 13/12/2018 14:50

GhostSauce she wants the whole family together and I don't have the room to host them all. They also expect a starter and atleast 3 different types of deserts, so would hate to host them even if I had the space to do it

OP posts:
ButteryParsnips · 13/12/2018 14:52

There won't be lots of traffic on Boxing Day. I would suck this one up since it's a compromise around not going on Christmas Day, and try and distract him as best you can.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/12/2018 14:52

Set off first thing, stop for a break, take snacks and toys and hopefully he will be ok. 2 hours with a break isn't that bad really. Especially if you're staying for a few days.

How do you normally see MIL?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/12/2018 14:54

Just noticed your username!
You don't like her then?

Original poster
MilStrikesAgain789 · 13/12/2018 14:56

Go during his nap time he is difficult to get to sleep and wakes up easily

OP posts:
Happyandshiney · 13/12/2018 14:57

Sometimes you just have to let them cry.

I have twins so no sitting in the back possible.

Sometimes they cried in the car while travelling nothing much to do but grit your teeth.

peachgreen · 13/12/2018 14:57

It's Christmas. It's only natural that she wants to see her son and grandson. If he cries, he cries. He'll live. You can't not go anywhere because your baby doesn't like his car seat! And I say this as the mother of a baby who also hates her car seat. We time journeys so she'll sleep part of the way (usually 40 minutes) and put up with the grumbling / whining / screaming for the rest of the way.

ChasedByBees · 13/12/2018 14:58

Does DC ever nap in the car? If so, I’d go really earlywhen it’s dark and try and do as mix as possible. Stop somewhere for an hour or two and carry on.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/12/2018 14:58

What do you want us to say? Don't go?

What would you do if you were going on holiday?

RiverTam · 13/12/2018 15:02

Sobyiure never going to travel anywhere that's more than an hour away by car?

Come on. It's not going to be that bad. Don't start off with Peppa, keep that up your sleeve for the second half of the journey.

I think if you're staying for a few days it's doable.

Lydiaatthebarre · 13/12/2018 15:02

It sounds like you just don't want to go. Is there a particular reason beyond the car journey?

underneaththeash · 13/12/2018 15:03

Just break the journey in stages.
Find a stop off point about 1 hour away, have a break and then do the other hour. Make sure you co-incide with a nap too.

One day you'll be a MIL too and you'll also want to see your children at Christmas.