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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boxing day at MIL's

294 replies

MilStrikesAgain789 · 13/12/2018 14:37

DH has told Mil that we will go to her house for boxing day as a compromise for not going on Christmas day.
The problem is her house is almost a 2 hour drive away in the car with alot of traffic and my 12 month old DC hates being in his car seat. He can last about an hour in the car by distracting him with some peppa pig but that only works for so long and he gets really upset and starts to cry alot. Nothing seems to calm him down, tried milk, water, food, toys, singing but he hates being confined for that long (he hates his pram for that reason as well). Most of the journey is on a motorway or stuck in traffic so not alot of opportunity to pull over and take him out of the seat to calm him down, and once he has calmed down he is very reluctant to get back in the car seat. He is also worse when the car isn't moving, so the traffic makes him more upset.
WIBU to suggest my DH goes on his own so that my DC doesn't have to have a long journey which he will hate and cry for alot of the journey. Or any suggestions on how to calm a crying baby while traveling on a motorway or stuck in traffic. Mil is really keen on us all going saying how much she is looking forward to it.

OP posts:
ifonly4 · 13/12/2018 15:04

As said before, there are a few solutions I'd go for:

Ask MIL to come to you for a year or two

Go early and stop off for a quick break

We always used to sit with DD even as a baby she had travel sickness. You do the driving and DH can looking after little oneSmile

AdamNichol · 13/12/2018 15:06

For a time DS was a bad traveller after about an hour. Takes over 5hrs to get to my parents. It was a good opportunity for DS to learn a life skill called fucking lump it.

delboysskinandblister · 13/12/2018 15:06

MIL wouldn't want the children to be distressed by an unwanted car journey so bail out and MIL can see her own son if DH just goes on his own. Saves hassle all round.

DarlingNikita · 13/12/2018 15:06

If you're staying for a few days then I have to say suck it up. If it was a long return journey in one day I'd say differently.

Mind you, from this they sound like slight tossers: 'They also expect a starter and at least 3 different types of deserts'. Who the fuck 'expects'/demands things from their hosts in such a rude way?

UnicornSlaughters · 13/12/2018 15:07

You sound like you're making excuses not to go TBH. You would be very unreasonable to tell your husband to go on his own.

Suck it up. It's Christmas and like it or not she's family.

masterandmargarita · 13/12/2018 15:09

So you seriously won't go anywhere over an hour cos of your kid?!

theworldistoosmall · 13/12/2018 15:10

AdamNichol - such a shame mn still doesn't have a like button Grin

IdaBWells · 13/12/2018 15:10

Lots of very active play for 30 minutes before putting him in the car and make sure he has a full tummy before you set off, sleepy relaxing music playing should all induce sleep.

theworldistoosmall · 13/12/2018 15:12

MilStrikesAgain789 - you do realise that it's not the adults she wants to see right? So sending him on his own is pointless

Ohh take the train. He doesn't need to go in a carseat and will even be able to go with one of you for a walk down the carriages. And there will be no traffic. Solves all your problems.

BertrandRussell · 13/12/2018 15:12

If you’re trying to make it sound as if you have a good and sensible reason not to go, maybe start another thread under a different name? Grin

Tinty · 13/12/2018 15:12

Are you seeing your mum over Christmas OP or is it just DH's mum you don't want to see?

Baby DS may cry and not like car journeys but he will probably have a lovely time being spoilt by MIL and he won't remember crying in the car on journeys when he is older.

WendyCope · 13/12/2018 15:12

You just clearly don't want to go, even for the sake of your family relations/DH and is very mean and foolish behaviour IMO.

So don't go. But it is stupid to make silly excuses.

Rachelle3211 · 13/12/2018 15:12

I'd go anyways. It's unfortunate but sometimes we make sacrifices for people we love. You can't host the family but she can. She's planning to have everyone over and feed you for a few days which is lovely. I would just leave early and stop for breaks. You keep saying "my child", is this dh's child too?

turnipsaretheonlyveg · 13/12/2018 15:13

I would aim for a break half way through the journey. Another person with twins who just had to let crying happen sometimes, they survived fine.
It seems a pretty weak excuse not to go, do you have other reasons for not wanting to go?

Jent13c · 13/12/2018 15:14

With a 12 month old I would try and go around 11/12 and blast the journey as quick as possible. Or late at night the night before. Alternatively I used to sometimes get the bus/train while my husband drove so he could wriggle/walk about on the train.

Ellie56 · 13/12/2018 15:15

Definitely won't be much traffic on Boxing Day especially if you go early.

Is it the actual seat that's a problem? Maybe something digging into him or the straps too tight?

ChanelPlease · 13/12/2018 15:16

You can't t not go because your dc whinges in his car seat. We had a crying unsettled baby whilst the other dc just slept, but honestly they grow out of it. Your ds will nod off at some point.

BiddyPop · 13/12/2018 15:16

We've done the "heading off at 6/7am, with DD still in PJs and wrapped up in a blanket" to get the journey started before she fully woke and needed entertaining. Pack the car the night before, so you just get dressed, have a quick cuppa (or fill 2 travel mugs) and turn on the car so it heats up, before lifting the still sleeping DC into their seat and strapping them in.

Happyandshiney · 13/12/2018 15:16

MIL wouldn't want the children to be distressed by an unwanted car journey

Delboy you’re kidding right?

theworldistoosmall · 13/12/2018 15:19

MIL wouldn't want the children to be distressed by an unwanted car journey

Then they can take the train.

Rednaxela · 13/12/2018 15:20

Mil can fuck off imo.

Anyone who would listen to how much distress the journey caused to a child and still demand it is a dick.

Sorry to say your DH is included in that btw. He should give a shit his own child is in distress!

Kannet · 13/12/2018 15:25

If he's going to be that distressed get the train.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 13/12/2018 15:25

When will you expect your DC to be used to car journeys? It only become normal if they practice it a lot. You could be making a bad habit that will take real dedicated effort to break! after all travel is a fact of life. He'll have to do it sometime.

Maybe it is the type of car seat you have rather than the car/journey!

But it does sound as though you are lining up a lot of fussy excuses not to go.

If you don't want to go then send DC with his dad! Let him work it out!

SassitudeandSparkle · 13/12/2018 15:25

Is anyone else wondering when the OP is seeing her own parents over the Christmas break?

ApolloandDaphne · 13/12/2018 15:28

The traffic will be very light on Boxing Day. Drive for an hour, have a quick stop then head off again. If he whinges it won't be the end of the world. He will live.