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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter given to family friend at school gate without permission

344 replies

Becklington · 14/09/2018 21:49

Hi
I found out that a new teacher in my daughter's first week at primary school, at school pick up time, gave her to a friend of ours. Our friend, who the teacher does not know at all, thought she was meant to pick her up. The school asks that any parent emails or tells them in person requests for a different person picking up. Clearly this had not happened. I am really upset as a stranger, to all intents and purposes, picked up.our daughter. Our friend said she had to be quite insisting to get her to come with her as my daughter is very shy but the teacher let her go. Clearly she came to no harm but I have lost all faith, trust and confidence. I am wondering if I should report this breach of basic safeguarding...any thoughts please?

OP posts:
RelentlessSylvia · 14/09/2018 21:57

I don't think you need to formally report it as no harm was done (?) but I'd ask to discuss it with the Head if I were you, so that the school can tighten up their school gate practices.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/09/2018 21:59

Who was meant to be picking her up?

SmallestInTheClass · 14/09/2018 21:59

This is a safeguarding issue, I'd raise with the head. It was harmless this time but could be quite different for another child next time.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 14/09/2018 22:00

I would definitely report this. Very dangerous potentially. Hopefully they’d be more careful if they knew of a bad dad/stalking auntie etc.

QOD · 14/09/2018 22:01

why was the friend there?

worknamechanged · 14/09/2018 22:01

Your friend was insistent? Or was insisting that she wasn’t taking the child? What did the school say when you talked to them about it?

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 14/09/2018 22:01

But where was the person that was meant to be picking her up and how old?

PumpkinPie2016 · 14/09/2018 22:01

Who was supposed to pick her up? Where were they? I can't see why your friend thought she was meant to pick up your daughter without prior arrangement?

I would speak to the teacher and clarify who is allowed/supposed to pick up your daughter. Also, tell your daughter who is picking her up (remind her each day) and tell her not to leave the teacher unless that person is there.

I asked my mum to pick DS up one day this week but made sure the teacher was aware.

CantankerousCamel · 14/09/2018 22:01

How old is the child? They probably believed her when she said she was getting picked up by adult

VivaDixie · 14/09/2018 22:02

Why did your friend have to insist? So had you asked your friend to collect but are now blaming the school?

Were you testing out the system?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/09/2018 22:02

How did the friend think she was supposed to pick her up? And if she wasn’t, why weren’t you there to pick her up? Confused

Original poster
Becklington · 14/09/2018 22:03

Thanks for my husband, her father

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 14/09/2018 22:03

What does that mean?

categed · 14/09/2018 22:04

Why was your friend insistent that ypur daughter go with her? 2 issues here are 1. You friend collecting your child and 2. The school letting her go with an unknown adult. Where were you at this time? I would speak to the head and explain the situation but your friend could also get into trouble for taking a child they weren't meant to. I assume your daughter is 4 or 5? It can be really hard depending on class sizes to get the kids out especially if people are running late but normally ypu wpuld hold a child back and check with the office before letting them go. So do speak to the head.

Flipflop789 · 14/09/2018 22:04

So who was supposed to be collecting her? Were they not there also?
Yes id defo report it

VivaDixie · 14/09/2018 22:04

Sorry? Your update is not clear

weeblueberry · 14/09/2018 22:04

If your husband was going to pick her up why did you friend take her??

twoheaped · 14/09/2018 22:04

How can your family friend be a stranger to your ddConfused?

Who was meant to pick her up and why weren't they there on time? That would be my main concern.

HuntIdeas · 14/09/2018 22:05

Do you mean your husband was meant to be picking her up but he asked your friend to go instead?

MediocrePenguin · 14/09/2018 22:05

This is really odd. Can't understand how your friend thought she would be picking her up and why she was so insistent if it was a mix up?! And where were you at pick up time?

londonrach · 14/09/2018 22:06

Who was collecting her and why was the friend there

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/09/2018 22:06

Why did friend pick her up? I don't understand what happened.

Original poster
Becklington · 14/09/2018 22:06

What a peculiar assumption. Really simple. My husband was in playground on way to get her, our friend thought it was her turn to pick up and got muddled up and picked her up.
Our friend had to be forceful with the teacher, convincing her she was correct to be taking her.

OP posts:
minisoksmakehardwork · 14/09/2018 22:07

Are you sure your dh hadn't contacted the school to say friend will be picking her up?

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/09/2018 22:07

Clear as mud.

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