Son moving to Australia with grandkids soon...

[MadyaunMylford]

AIBU to be totally devastated. I have cancer and and various other health issues which mean it is impossible for me to undertake the flight. He did say the firm would pay for family to visit but this is no good for me. I fear I will never see them or the grandkids again.

What would you do?

Oh and disinherit him 😁

I would be upset but would wish them well and make sure I was set up on Skype. What else can you do?

That isn't a helpful response, Trinity.

Can your son return regularly with his family? Are you too unwell to fly? Some specialist insurers will insure people with cancer.

Have you got Skype/Facetime etc? It isn't the same, but it can make far flung family feel much closer.

Enjoy the opportunities of my family, and talk to them on skype.

You are not unreasonable to be devastated, this sounds a huge blow. You cannot do much about it though, just make plans to stay in touch and be supportive to them, get Skype, send parcels and look forward to that visit that they may well make. It's so hard though, most people would prefer family to be around or at least not so far away when they are ill.

Is your cancer terminal, if so forget insurance, plan extended holiday over there and if the worst happens agree to be buried over there. Enjoy your life

We have Skype set up but it will not be the same as seeing them often.
It would be different if i was much younger and fit but it is a real blow.

I'd be devastated too.

Ah that's very hard. Do you have other children and grand children?
I hope the cancer is treatable

Yes it is terminal. I also have another condition which means I cannot fly

We have family in Australia who cannot come to Britain so we go once a year with children in tow. It's actually not as hard as you would expect with children. I'm sure that they will come visit. Out if curiosity can you tell me which firm he is working for? Sounds like a good deal, I might try to convince my husband to apply.

Alice, it isn't as simple as that as she might not be able to access healthcare. I don't know the rules for Australia. But she could potentially leave her son with £££ medical bills which wouldn't be fair.

Oh, and you can go by boat!

She will have to pay for her own healthcare. They only provide state funded healthcare to citizens in Australia. It's much better than healthcare here though so well worth paying for it if you can.

That's tough news to absorb 💐

Have you seen this thread?

We live a third of the way to Aus. It wasn't a decision we made lightly - and also one that will not be permanent. If your son and DiL have researched this properly, please try outwardly to be supportive, whilst acknowledging you will miss them.

However devistated you are, if you rock the relationship now, repairing it will be really hard.

I’m so sorry OP 😔

Somehow youve just got to try your hardest to be happy for your son and your grandchildren and their (hopefully) fantastic new life. We all have children in the hope that they will have a happy and prosperous life. It sounds like your son has gone very well in getting himself a job out there and I think really all you can do is be kind to yourself at the moment.

Do you have any other children or family? Any chance of getting support from elsewhere, charities maybe? I know it’s not the same but it might give you something else to look forward to if you can get your emotional needs met somewhere else.

You rightly feel very upset by this.

Can you more than anyone not see though that life is so short they have to take their opportunities when they come up.

Do you have other family who will be near you?

She can't take a boat, or fly there because she has bloody terminal cancer and another health condition! Very unhelpful to tell her to jump on a plane or boat.

YANBU, OP. And I see no reason why you should hide your feelings or 'be supportive' when they're not of you.

FFS. Just tell him! 'That's great. But I'm very upset. I feel this will be the last time I see my grandkids.'

What's wrong with sharing your feelings?

'Can you more than anyone not see though that life is so short they have to take their opportunities when they come up. '

Wow! That has to be one of the most shockingly rude, dismissive and insensitive comments I've read on here.

That must be a terrible blow can you chat to them about timing and how regularly they might be able to visit? My son’s godfather moved to Australia a few years ago and comes back twice a year to visit everyone.

I don't blame you for being upset OP. It can be devastating enough having a DC move to the far side of the world at any time, but I'm shocked he's doing this when your health is so poor, your cancer terminal and you are unable to visit them. for you.

You're definitely NBU to be devastated. It's heartbreaking.

However it is so easy to keep in touch now. Schedule regular facetime with your grandkids. You can read them bedtime stories.

Set up a family Facebook page to share photos and news

You can still buy them things and send packages and order presents on line to be delivered there.

Some of my siblings live abroad, although not as far as OZ and we do miss each other but you get used to it and re-unions are great fun.

Gosh, that does sound really upsetting, I'm not surprised you're devastated. Do you mind me asking, what's motivating them to go and how much have they actually researched it? Is it a requirement of his job that he takes up this post, or has he jumped at it as an opportunity for his kids to have the mythical 'better life'?
There must be a fair amount of backstory to this. How old are the grandkids? Are you close to them?