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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my weight is no ones buisness but my own

261 replies

portolodn · 03/12/2017 10:25

I'm obese and happy with it but other people seem to have an issue with it. I've, stupidly, confided in a few people that I've been warned that I have a high blood sugar level and my doctor has said I'm classified as having prediabetes. But I'm very happy with my life and my body. Other people are now dropping huge suggestions on things I should change and stop doing. Surely it's my choice what I do with my life and people should just worry about themselves?

OP posts:
ChocolateButton15 · 03/12/2017 10:29

It's probably because they care and diabetes isn't very nice. It's better to do something now so you don't develop diabetes. Even if you are happy with how you look they are probably only worried about your health not what you look like.

Nanna50 · 03/12/2017 10:30

How can you be very happy with a pre-diabetes diagnosis? I'm sure your GP offered more than suggestions on what you need to do. I'm not even sure whether your question is serious or goady Hmm

MadForlt · 03/12/2017 10:30

I'm obese and OK with it (would prefer to be overweight to obese though!) - but I don't have any health problems directly linked to it. If I had prediabetes however I would be doing my damndest to change that and would expect others to be concerned.

Its a serious illness and it can be avoided without difficulty at the stage you are at.

I'm not convinced this is genuine, as I can't imagine anyone being so blasé about potentially becoming diabetic through their own choices.

MaisyPops · 03/12/2017 10:31

Are you just baiting people for a reaction? Trying to get a bun fight started?

You don't need to confide in people tjat you are at risk of those things. It's common knowledge if you are obsese.

I don't blame people for suggesting you make positive changes for the good of your health.

If you want to be obese then great, knock yourself out with all the health issues. People will judge you still for being lazy, eating too much and thinking the rest of the world should pick up the tab for your ridiculous choice to be horrendously unhealthy.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 03/12/2017 10:31

You don't have anyone that could be potentially devastated if you die young from obesity related health problems, then?

Fairylea · 03/12/2017 10:31

As someone who has chronic health problems (addisons, thyroid and asthma) trust me you should try to make changes now while you still can. Having bad health is frightening and awful. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Annabelle4 · 03/12/2017 10:32

Because they care about you....

IJustLostTheGame · 03/12/2017 10:33

Seriously???
You don't care that you are going to develop a serious condition???
SERIOUSLY??????
YABU

confusedlittleone · 03/12/2017 10:33

I mean sure it's your life but don't expect other people to be supportive when your pretty much saying your ok with sending yourself to an early grave

RunFatGirlRuuuuuun · 03/12/2017 10:33

Port I'm very much in the same boat with weight and prediabetes. You are right, out isn't their business. However, diabetes is awful, really really awful. It can lead to blindness, amputation, kidney failure, heart attacks, strokes to name a few complications. It sounds like these people care for you!

lou1221 · 03/12/2017 10:34

I can see both sides, if you're happy being larger that's fine, your issue and no one else's, until it affects your health, and you need treatment, possibly lifelong. This is where you're wrong. Many many people cannot help illnesses and treatment required. You can, you've been warned that you need to alter things. I don't know your age, but surely knowing you have high BP, with the risk of stroke, heart disease and the definite risk of diabetes, you abvu not to help yourself.

BeetrootTart · 03/12/2017 10:35

Why would you be happy with the prospect of getting diabetes? If you're in a position to do something about it then maybe you should?

SoftlyCatchyMonkey1 · 03/12/2017 10:36

So no one has the right to care about you and your well being?

ZigZagandDustin · 03/12/2017 10:36

You might care when they chop your foot off.

But yes, these are your personal choices to make. Unfortunately carrying a lot of weight is something that people will never stop noticing, especially if they care about you.

Munchyseeds · 03/12/2017 10:36

The impact on your health from being diabetic is horrendous....you might just wish you had listened to others in a few years and made those changes

Original poster
portolodn · 03/12/2017 10:37

I think some people are misunderstanding, it's not that I don't care its that I don't want anyone else trying to force me. Any changes I make should 100% be my choice without anyone else interfering. I don't see why it is acceptable to tell other people how they should be living their life.

OP posts:
grimeofthecentury · 03/12/2017 10:39

Diabetes isn't fun. It won't magically go away because you are "body positive". If you carry on you'll have diabetes and they will try and control it by diet. Then what will you do, refuse to comply?

Rebeccaslicker · 03/12/2017 10:40

Personally - don't you care about the health of those you know?

Socially - if you're an NHS user, in a way it is everyone else's business.

And I'm not being goady, as a bout of GD 2 years ago means that I am now at least prediabetic too. I'm doing my best to stave it off. Trust me - even 10 weeks of diabetes when pregnant was shit enough and that didn't come with the health problems that long term diabetes will bring if not tightly managed.

Denial and depression are common with diabetes but honestly - a pizza isn't worth your eyesight and a doughnut isn't worth a toe!

NiktheGreek · 03/12/2017 10:41

I can't believe this post is true. I have also just been diagnosed with pre diabetes. I am terrified of it developing into full blown type 2 diabetes for all the reasons given above by a pp. I've completely over hauled my diet and in the process lost a stone and a half in a couple of months. I can't believe that anyone can disregard their health so flippantly especially if they have family that care about them.

Takeoutyourhen · 03/12/2017 10:41

So until you realise that being obese is a serious health issue and has numerous health implications, you won't hear of it from anyone else?
I hope the penny drops for you soon.

speakout · 03/12/2017 10:41

Do you have a partner? Children?

I keep fit and healthy mostly for myself, but also for them.
I had children quite late and have been determined not to be an "old" parent in my 50s while still having kids at school.

So I stay fit, slim and healthy. That means I can be a better parent to them. I feel vibrant and energetic and as a result have a closer relationship with my family.

You absolutely have the right to be obese and unhealthy , but it is selfish not to consider the impact it has on others.

NoelNiki · 03/12/2017 10:41

Your weight and health are your own business I agree.

However being obese and bordering on diabetes is quite frankly irresponsible when there is a way to reverse it and it is entirely within your control..

Also when I was overweight (bmi of around 27) I swore blind I was happy with my body too. Then I lost the weight and wondered why on earth I didnt lose it sooner. Not just appearance, so much more comfortable, more energy, etc

Sounds like you have friends who care but if you want to continue as you are and cost the NHS loads to treat a preventable illness so be it.

Rebeccaslicker · 03/12/2017 10:41

Here is the cost of diabetes to the NHS. The NHS which is financially on its knees. How can you say your health won't affect anyone else if the NHS ends up picking up the tab for all your meds and tests and checkups and pills and treatments?!

www.diabetes.co.uk/cost-of-diabetes.html

1DAD2KIDS · 03/12/2017 10:42

It maybe that people care about you and the dangers to your health. Much in the same way that if you were a heavy drinker those around you and medical profetionals may suggestions.

Albertschair · 03/12/2017 10:43

What do you want them to say? You have told them you have a weight related health condition. And they care enough about you to suggest ways you can reverse it.

In much the same way as if I kept spraining my ankle when running I'd hope someone might suggest ways I could exercise with lower injuries. Or if I had chest infections and smoked, I'd expect ex smokers to tell me how they quit.

Or keep lying to yourself that being obese doesn't bother you.